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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being horrid to leave my 6 month old daughter to go on a hen doo?

31 replies

pamelat · 03/07/2008 20:16

Am going tomorrow, its in the UK but is 2 nights away.

I confirmed and paid for my place whilst I was 2 months pregnant, at that time a 6 month old baby sounded fairly grown up!!

My husband is brilliant with her (but has never had her for more than a couple of hours)

Will she miss me? Am I horrid to be leaving her? Feeling incredibly guilty already and she seems to have sensed this and has become unsettled ( I also think she is about to get a tooth, doesnt have any yet)

Hubby is saying that if it goes wrong or if I miss her he can always drive to me (4 hour drive), but its probably not the done thing on a girly weekend?

The hen is a good friend of mine and the weekend will be a rest, but just feel like maybe its unreasonable behaviour to go?

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 03/07/2008 20:18

You should go. She will be absolutely fine. The worst ages fro seperation anxiety is 9 mths then 18 mths so 6 mths is ideal.
Enjoy it!

Elmosgirl · 03/07/2008 20:20

Not unreasonable if you want to go, she will be fine with her Daddy, does he have other people near he can call on if needed.

I'm sure you'll have a great time.

peggotty · 03/07/2008 20:20

Absolutely not!! Go and have a great time! She will be fine. And I would kill my dh if he brought my dc to me while I was on a hen do because he thought they were 'missing me' . She would miss you more if she was 2 or 3 years not 6 months!

mrsfederer · 03/07/2008 20:21

Come, come.

Go on the hen dooo.

She will survive without you, and DH will have a lovely time to bond just him and her.

Ambi · 03/07/2008 20:24

Go and have a fantastic time. I have 6mthDD, Can I come too whilst DH babysits?

FrazzledFairyFay · 03/07/2008 20:25

Go, go, go. She and Dh will be fine and a break/change of scene will do you lots of good as well.

beaniesteve · 03/07/2008 20:26

your husband sounds lovely.

AnybodyHomeMcFly · 03/07/2008 20:27

I understand your concerns but she will be fine, do it!

Original poster
pamelat · 03/07/2008 20:28

Oh good, think I just felt guilty about it

My parents and his parents are on hand if he needs them, but he is saying he would like to do it all himself (Yep happy to loan him out!)

Thanks all, its a fairly civilised weekend with beauty treatments and nice meals out - I do want to go

I will miss her but once I am home will see every day again anyway!

OP posts:
Turniphead1 · 03/07/2008 20:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ChukkyPig · 03/07/2008 20:30

Have a great time. Try not to phone home every 5 mins!!!

minouminou · 03/07/2008 20:30

Get gone, woman!
You might find you miss her a bit, though, but she'll be just fine, and your DH will manage just fine, too.
Have fun.

tori32 · 03/07/2008 20:32

Agree with people who say go! She will be fine. I had to leave dd1 for 4 days to sort out my house for selling (in lincoln when I lived in Dorset.)My mum had her and she was ok. DH was away for weeks at a time and she was fine.

minouminou · 03/07/2008 20:32

You went to A&E because of a poxy severed arm?
I'll have you know i made a tourniquet out of a muslin and just soldiered on.
I don't know, it's all me me me with some mothers...............

MmeLindt · 03/07/2008 20:33

LOL Turniphead, have you been listening in on some conversations in our kindergarten?

Pamelat
Go, have a great time, get pampered.

Do you think your DH would take my 2 DCs too? They are very wellbehaved.

FluffyMummy123 · 03/07/2008 20:33

Message withdrawn

unclefluffy · 03/07/2008 20:36

I'm currently organising a stag do at which I will be seven months pregnant. A friend's six month old baby is invited too!

I'm about the extent to which it can really be called a stag do.

minouminou · 03/07/2008 20:36

You may get lots of "who's looking after DD?", but just say "her dad - they're having a great time"
It's amazing, told an associate we were going to a film, and got "but who's looking after DS?"
I was like "a responsible adult...what did you think we'd do, chain him to the radiator?"

unclefluffy · 03/07/2008 20:36

I'm currently organising a stag do at which I will be seven months pregnant. A friend's six month old baby is invited too!

I'm about the extent to which it can really be called a stag do.

yama · 03/07/2008 20:37

I know exactly how you feel. I left my dd for the first time when she was six months old for a hen-do in Dublin. I so didn't want to go. I was really anxious for ages beforehand, thought about making excuses, feighning illness etc.

I had a great time however and she was fine. Just imagine how exciting it will be for both of you when you reunite.

yama · 03/07/2008 20:41

I've just read Chukkypig saying try not to phone home every 5 minutes. Made me laugh - I wanted to phone home at 7am on the Saturday morning. It's probably a good idea to agree times that you phone home. Otherwise if you phone and they don't answer .......

meglet · 03/07/2008 20:44

turniphead are you my MIL

ChukkyPig · 03/07/2008 21:29

Oh and pamelat, if your friends and especially the bride are childless, or have older ones, resist the urge to talk about DD incessantly, regale all and sundry with tales of her feeding schedule, the changes to the contents of her nappies, how she sleeps, and whatever you do don't whip out a series of 300 photos.

I have forgotten what it was like to be anything other than a mother to a small child, but in some company when I find myself about to say "you know what, DD did a massive fart today" I just think, no, button it.

Have a fab time, loving the idea of pampering. Just perfect when baby is 6 months and you are starting to feel a bit back to normal!

jenniebee · 03/07/2008 21:40

GO AND HAVE FUN and like everyone has said try not to worry/phone every 5 mins. easier said than done tho!

soopermum1 · 03/07/2008 21:59

make the most of it now. in a few years, she'll be old enough to cry down the phone 'mummy, come home, i neeeeeeeed you' whenever you're away. that's the killer