to feel really irritated with people who........

[lemonstartree]

moan on and on about the same problems all the time, but do Nothing to help themselves sort it out.

I probably am, but thought I'd ask anyway

depends - if you are talking about RL or MN. INRL when you know all the facts then no you are probably not being unreasonable and only you/they know whether you areBU or they are.

On MN you rarely know all the facts and sometimes people are too low to take the steps they need to and need many weeks/months of support before taking steps to resolve the situation. And thats assuming that they have the ability to do something to help themselves anyway.

I agree, the same names, same stories... blah blah blah.

I tend to ignore posts by certain people for this reason.

Perhaps their numerous threads are their doing something to help themselves.

YABU - ignore the threads if they bother you.

YABUnkind. Many people use mn to offload and as a way of working through their emotions and working out how to cope with the problems in their life. They also may not post when things are gong well so it seems to you that they aren't doing stuff to improve their lot.
But I think that in this case, and I believe that you are referring to a particular poster, I think it would be better if you said nothing instead of sticking your oar in.

There are talkers and doers... doers get very cross with talkers! Talkers get very cross with doers who dont understand that they just need to talk, and dont really need /want / will listen to advice. If you know someone on MN to be a talker it might beorth not posting any doing advice - might save a lot of angst.

I kno what you mean LST - but I think no-one WANTS to be stuck in nasty/stressful situations - the fact that people do get stuck like this is often borne out of some quite deep seated difficulty, whether that's mental health 'illness' or just debilitating lack of self esteem. If they were zipping along in life they'd be able to sort themselves out. So I don't think irritation is worth having tbh - you have to understand, offer help....until you feel you really can do no more. That's all you can do I think.

And I think also people who do get stuck in these situations and feel powerless, can often be seen very unsympathetically by others and seen as 'whingers' - I see it in the people I work with every day; in the long term, it's not good at all, they lose friendships and can become socially isolated.

So for me, understanding and practical help/suggestions are good.

Not necessairily unreasonable but you are an arsehole for starting this thread.

Ok having searched for your posts today I agree with Carmenere and ConnorTraceptive.

YABU

I am sure people would say I am always moaning about the same things and I could justify it but tbh I don't see why I should to someone who can be som blinkered about RL.

Agree. If you can't be constructive, say/post nothing.

Yes I've just searched as well.

Starting this thread is very mean, what on earth is your motivation for starting it? Seems a rather bitchy thing to do

agree - post robustly as you like on topics which are not personal to OP but when someone is sharing personal stories IME tactful suggestions for alternatives are the strongest posts acceptable - otherwise bite your lip and move to another thread. Calling someone who might be vulnerable names isn't reasonable.

Not a nice thread at all.

Hmmmm
I think if it's a short-lived, trivial issue, like a hangover or similar, and you say to a whinger "drink some water and take paracetamol", and they don't, and lie there whinging, then yeah, tell them to shut up.
i have a friend who has weight/overeating issues, i've said to her, stop impulse buying cakes (she'll turn up here with 2 full-on bigguns, and once a kilo bag of sugar for my DP's coffee, as he occasionally likes to sweeten it.....it's like an alcoholic asking you to join them for a drink, as cover for his/her addiction.
This is just one example, and yes, on one level it bugs the shit out of me, because i think "DON'T whinge about you being fat or me being thin any more", but there are underlying issues which are much longer-lived and harder to sort than just skipping the bakery aisle a few times.
All you can do is reiterate advice, listen, and wait with people....they do know what to do, but it takes time, and they need encouragement and reinforcement.
if you can't do these things, then back off

what's the other thread? didn't realise there was something behind this one
not nice at all

Do a search for messages by lemonstartree today.
It'll make sense then.

wow
what was the point of that bile?

It is irritating, but better to ignore than draw attention to it

yababitch

people imo use mn for different resons. some for escape, some to offload.
some like you(the op) to be nasty.