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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be happy about my husband going over 3 hours away the day after i've had a stretch and sweep???

27 replies

nannyjo · 02/07/2008 19:39

40 weeks pregnant, got possible complications so to try and bring on the labour i have been given a stretch and sweep today. Dh has known about this arrangement for a few days but still booked a meeting for a distance of 3 1/2 hours away (with no traffic or hold ups).

This is baby no.3, 2 and 1 were very quick labours!!! I know the chances are nothing could happen but if it does he's not going to make it back possibly and even so i don't feel comfortable with the idea of calling him up and saying it's started cos he'd drive like a pillock (more so then he already does!!!) and that isn't going to make me feel very good waiting to see if he gets back in one peice!!!

His arguement is he can't stop doing his job for a 'just in case' reason. He makes his meeting as he wishes in order to get his job done. He can happily arrange them to suit himself when he needs (as in near to some mates on a friday pm so he can go out on the piss after!!!!!)

I don't think it is his company being demanding but if it is where would we stand if he did say no???

Sorry for long rant

OP posts:
Original poster
nannyjo · 02/07/2008 20:05

Anyone please...

OP posts:
WhipMeIndiana · 02/07/2008 20:11

tough one...I am 37 weeks today and last fri night dh went out and got pissed, I was SO angry with him

shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:12

Im here, hang on

WhipMeIndiana · 02/07/2008 20:13

I dont really think the men get how they make us feel, vulnerable, frightened etc, they just think of it as a small gamble and if worst did happen, theyd make it back in time..

I pointed out 'but you'd be drunk?' 'so what' he said

shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:14

Id feel exactly the same. Have you tried talking to him? Explain how you feel and your reasons why you would rather he not go. Is there an alternative. Could a colleague go or could he do a teleconference?I had a sweep and it didnt work if that comforts you a little?

WhipMeIndiana · 02/07/2008 20:15

yeah, my sweep didnt work! jsut made me feel violated...........................

and very hungry afterwards
is his meeting tomorrow then?

shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:16

By the way when i had youngest son dp went on the piss after. Son had breathing problems in the night and i couldnt get hold of him for hours. I was in a right state. Finally got him and he came to the hospital with a horrendous hangover and had to go through the trauma of going in an ambulance to another hospital with son as they wouldnt discharge me. Not funny I know but he got his just desserts. Dont think he would do that again!

WhipMeIndiana · 02/07/2008 20:16

blimey!!!! glad all turned out ok from that one...

shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:17

Violated? Wow, sounds good! I am sick, i know!

shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:17

Son is fine dp still gets pissed too often for my liking!

Klaw · 02/07/2008 20:18

Well, my dp did similar to me, I had 3 attempts at S&S from 41wks scan edd and the final 1 at 42wks was actually successfully performed. He decided he needed to go and stay overnight at his flat inthe city so he could get on with work that would be delayed once dd was here.

I did not want him to go but felt I had to let him. So I was alone when labour started before midnight and had to call him out in the early hours. Then once we arrived at the hospital he jumped at the chance to go away again to catch up on sleep cos I was obviously going to be a while..... I HATED feeling so alone in labour....

A lot of men just don't get it. If there's a next time I'm having a doula

Original poster
nannyjo · 02/07/2008 20:21

tried talking to him, he says i am being unreasonable.

this is my second stretch and sweep, i'm praying it works or i'm being induced on monday

Yes it's tomorrow his meeting, no-one else can do it but if i went into labour tonight then he wouldn't begoing anyway so i'm sure he could rearrange it or do an indepth phone conference but he needs to make that decision.

Men!!!

OP posts:
shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:27

Go and have a rummage yourself! Be careful though. Have a curry or force yourself to let him have a rummage!Just an idea

ja9 · 02/07/2008 20:30

yanbu. he shouldn't be going that far away at this late stage imo.

Original poster
nannyjo · 02/07/2008 20:36

being thick here....'have a rummage'....does that mean an orgasm could move things along??

Treid sex (again...sick of it now ) last night and this time it was too uncomfortable. I felt that it was 'too far in' (sorry, TMI)

OP posts:
shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:57

Dont read if your sensitive - stick your fingers up their and wiggle and jiggle em (like a DIY sweep)

Klaw · 03/07/2008 10:50

Be careful about inserting even your own fingers into your vagina, you don't want to risk infection. Make sure you are scrupulously clean.

The prostoglandins from semen are thought to be more effective when ingested orally.... [runs and hides before Nannyjo hits her]

Take a look at this.

I should point out that imho you shouldn't try to interfere with your body's own birth clock too much. You could start some contractions that then tail off after so many hours leaving you exhausted! which is not conducive to labour. Baby will come when baby s ready, it's hormones triggers the labour process.

I reckon the best ways to encourage labour, if you feel you have to, are to use the body's own hormones and that involves relaxation, brisk walking, sex and nipple stimulation.

you need to eat a huge amount of pineapple for the enzymes to have any effect. Hot Curries and castor oil just give you uncomfortable toilet trouble and castor oil definitely has the risk of causing baby to pass meconium, which then causes problems in itself.

Just my opinions fwtw.

Hope that labour starts at the most opportune time for you both and that it's a calm, smooth process.

You're going to have a baby!!!!!!!!!!

shatteredmumsrus · 03/07/2008 16:44

Do not drink castor oil. I did that in desperation and oh my god I can taste it now. It made me wretch, uuggghhhh! It did start me off tho but please dont put yourself thru it.
Any movements yet?

WhipMeIndiana · 03/07/2008 19:41

ive never tried castor oil.

liked that website though..wish Id known all that before I went 11 days over with dd last time.

shatteredmumsrus · 03/07/2008 20:54

i cant stress enough dont take castor oil its vile! Themidwifeshouted at me when i told her what id done

WhipMeIndiana · 04/07/2008 14:54

waaaaaaa serve me right for moaning now next week when I will be 38+2 dh has to go to weymouth and stay the night!!!!!!!!!!!

we live in Manc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Original poster
nannyjo · 04/07/2008 17:19

no still nothing yet They want to induce on monday so i've got 2 days to get this baby out!!!!!!

Just been on a big walk and i'm now very uncomfortable in my back and low belly ache but could just be muscle strain. Did get a very sharp pain though near end of walk that i've never felt before...a bit like the pain of baby hitting down in pelvis but very intense and longer lasting rather then just the usual on off bobbing pain, it was enough to make me stop hold my tummy and gasp 'ow'???

Come on baby, come on baby

OP posts:
elkiedee · 04/07/2008 17:24

I feel for you, this is such a difficult time nannyjo. And I think you're being reasonable. Did he go to his meeting?

Come on baby!

shatteredmumsrus · 04/07/2008 18:04

come on baby!

AlistairSim · 04/07/2008 18:09

There are some yoga positions that are supposed to help get the baby in the right position. Should be google-able, I think.

Good luck!

Will be sending come-on-baby vibes!

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