To have told six year old what weed is?

[Conoondroom]

Hi,

Took six year old out for a walk (almost seven.) We got to an estate that always stinks of weed and she asked what the smell was. I told her it was weed, and that it’s a flower that people use as medicine for pain from a doctor or that other people use it because it makes them “feel silly, like wine”.

She has smelt it loads during summer. It’s becoming more and more common. I’ve lived in countries where weed is legal and smoked in the street in front of children, so perhaps I’m lax, but AIBU to have said what I said?

I don’t believe in hiding things from children and explain them at an age appropriate level. She knows what alcohol is and I don’t see how me telling her what weed is any different or worse than her knowing what alcohol is and seeing people getting absolutely trashed at Wetherspoons when we’ve walked past on weekend days during the summer. It’s also commonly vaped now (medicinal cannabis) legally, so I also don’t get the stigma as much anymore.

It’s not like I’ve purchased her a bong!

I am asking because my friend has told me I’m insane for telling a six year old what weed is.

She’s obviously smelt it several times but the estate we walk past stinks of it and obviously she’s noticing the smell.

I've always believed in being truthful with children, in an age appropriate way, especially when they ask you a direct question. I don't think you've done any harm to your daughter and I think it's important that she knows she can trust you to tell her the truth.

This country has a funny way of caring about the young.

UK weed today is often not the light weed of yesteryear. It might cause fewer fights than alcohol, but long term studies show heavy use, especially if started young, is linked to lasting IQ loss, memory problems and psychosis. Aren’t those real costs to families and society? How is Portugal doing these days? Sure, decriminalisation worked well while treatment was properly funded, but since the, cuts not so much.

I think it’s good to be honest with children but I would have said it’s illegal and harmful. There are worrying correlations with serious mental health conditions as it is so strong these days. Describing it as making people a bit silly makes an illegal drug sound like something fun.

I don't think that you are being unreasonable to explain to her that the smell is weed.

However, she's not too young to benefit from a balanced but simplified overview of the facts, so I think that you are being unreasonable to have not also explained:

Some people who are very poorly in a way that thay can't get better are allowed to use weed in small amounts to help with their pain so weed can be a good thing for those people.

However, weed is mostly against the law (illegal) to protect people because it can also have the unwanted effect (side effect) of making people want it more and more in a way that they can't stop (addiction) when it can make their brains so poorly that they can't understand what is real and what isn't real in a way that can be very scary for them (psychosis) and may cause them to do silly or dangerous things so that they have to go to a special hospital for their minds (mental hospital) and take medicines, either daily tablets or regular injections.

Surely it's no more confusing than acknowledging that ice cream is yummy and eating one bowl can be a lovely treat but that if people find it difficult to stop themselves from eating too much ice cream (maybe even the whole tub!), it can make their tummy feel uncomfortable and may even cause them to be sick and if they do that too often for too many years, they will likely find it difficult to keep themselves happy, fit and healthy so that they have to take medicine to help their heart to cope better.

Now, Ice cream, unlike weed, isn't known to cause our brains to get poorly in a way that feels scary (psychosis) and will land us in a special (mental) hospital so it's not illegal but it's still sensible to enjoy it only occasionally as part of a healthy diet rather than to eat too much of it too often.

Should you try explaining to her that in some countries weed isn't illegal? Well this is where I think it does get confusing because in those countries, it seems that people are just expected to be able to be sensible about how much weed they take, even though it's known to be addictive, and if they can't stop themselves from taking too much weed which is too strong, their brains could still become poorly in a really scary way (psychosis) so that they have to go to the special (mental) hospital and have medicine but fortunately it's a little less likely in those countries because often the weed in those countries is less strong.

Honestly though, I'd leave that bit out and concentrate on the facts for her safety and wellbeing in the country she's living in. There's plenty of time for her to learn about international differences in the way weed is viewed and legislated for on future visits to those countries, perhaps when you feel she's mature enough to see the effect of it. From a UK perspective, I wouldn't even think about that until she's in her teens which is when they'll be covering it in school.

I don't see why it would be so difficult to explain to a 7/8 year old child that laws are different in different countries.

In England we can generally drive at 30 mph in residential areas. In Wales, they have decided that the limit should be 20mph - simple to understand facts.

In England, weed is generally illegal unless you are using it as a medicine because you are very poorly. In another country, weed is legal - simple facts.

Add as much detail as the child requests such as weed is legal here but there are laws about where you can buy weed and to whom you can sell it. England has similar laws about where you can buy alcohol and to whom you can sell it.

It's really not that hard to explain.

Edited to say, unless your child has a condition, such as Autism, which is characterised by rigid thinking but even then, I think they could probably accept the facts of the situation (the 'what') even if they struggled with the 'why.'

You're likely buying from the same gangs though. Children and adults are trafficked into cannabis farms and held prisoner by criminal gangs. Pretending the trade in cannabis is harmless is stupid, as is claiming that legalisation would solve the problem of large scale criminal gang involvement. It hasn't worked in the Netherlands.

It's quite possible to get high grade weed on prescription. Not illegal at all.

It's no different to explaining what cigarettes, alcohol and vapes are.
All a 6 year old needs to know that they're something that some adults use because they like the taste/how it feels but children can't have them. You could also say that having too much can make a person ill.

Not unreasonable at all. DD is 7 and we explained about the smell a year or two ago because there's an area close enough tous where people hang out smoking where we can smell it in the garden if the wind is blowing the right way.

Age appropriate information is fine. That it smells horrible and is bad for people, unless it's from a doctor.

I'm sure the school has heard of weed.

Someone using cannabis for medical reasons is unlikely to be stinking up the bus stop with it, I imagine.

Except weed these days is so much stronger and dangerous, back in the day it was just like the hit from smoking a cigarette without the dangerous nicotine.

True , suppose not..... still it is a good way forward for the cannabis trade to be taken out of the hands of dodgy criminal gangs.....

Oh wait ... 😆

Seriously it's the only way to go now.

She asked, you told the truth. Best thing to do.

Of course it’s fine. Though leading on medicinal use is a bit odd, unless your estate is very different from around here.

No it is the flower buds.

Does it. Do you know anything about CSA, CCE county lines and trafficking?

Perfectly fine, you explained it in a factual way. What’s the point in lying.

I think your explanation was really good.

I always answer questions as honestly as possible in an age appropriate way.

Smoking anything isn’t healthy. I love a real fire, it’s beautiful and good for my mental
health as well as warmth. The particulates are terrible for lung health.
Weed is anti social cos it fucking stinks. Like cigarettes.

I told my kid similar when she was six because our next door neighbours are stoners and we often smell it.

Fair enough!

Weird isn’t it.

Now I think of it tobacco is leaves so probably where you got that.

My brother who has smoked dope for 30 years also comments and hates the smell on the streets🤷🏼‍♀️

Exactly, its almost like people are just wanting validation..but no of course it these judgemental friends that are just roaming about in mumsnet land....