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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what great aunts options are here?

66 replies

KaplanCarr · 03/11/2026 19:33

I help my great aunt (85) with admin and bits and bobs as whilst mostly independent she’s struggling more with every day tasks. She’s lived in the same house for many years and the back garden has mature trees 40 years olds at least I’d say, I think silver birch. They are very high.

A couple of years ago a neighbour at the back asked if she’d get them cut down a bit so she agreed and they paid a bit toward the cost too as she’s barely got any money. She’s not so fond of the trees that she refuses to cut them, it’s simply that it costs a fortune and she doenst have the money readily available and they’ve never been an issue for many years.

Today the next door neighbour knocked on GA door saying the were concerned about the trees in the wind etc…they offered to it towards them being cut back but £100 won’t go far, you’re taking close to a grand. I can understand their concern, however the trees have been there and like that for many many years, more than the new neighbours have lived there in. They bought their house about 4 years ago and nothings has changed, they haven’t suddenly grown, so they knew there were large mature trees, so part of me thinks well you can’t complain because they haven’t just appeared.

My aunt is worried about what will happen and she’s not against having them cut back but she simply hasn’t got the money to pay as she lives off her pension and has very little in savings. As I say you’d be looking at the best part of a grand I’d say easily so what the heck can be done?

OP posts:
Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · Yesterday 12:35

Makingsenseofitall · Yesterday 07:44

I would tell them if they would like them cut down they can pay for it. And that is afar as she is willing to go. Honestly no need to worry about inspections or anything else. I can’t possibly imagine a 40tr old silver birch has a TPO on it. But she should stand firm that their worries are not her concern but she is happy to accommodate them paying to trim them down.

In our area, all trees are covered by a TPO. To cut down a tree, you have to give notice, and if the council don’t get back to you in 6 weeks then you can remove it. We had to take a couple of trees down, and there were no problems.

I think the first step is a tree surgeon, who should be able to tell you whether the trees are healthy. Our experience of tree surgeons has been good - they will explain which trees should be pruned, which are fine, and which need to come down. If they say the trees do need to come down, then your Great Aunt will have decisions to make. If they say the trees are fine, well, your GA can tell their neighbours this - and make it clear that if the neighbours still want the trees down, they pay.

Italia2026 · Yesterday 12:51

A tree survey would be a lot more than £100 round here!

But getting an opinion/quote from a reputable tree surgeon should be free.

The neighbours are being silly and way too demanding. If your GA is happy for you to do this, it might be good for you to knock on their door and say that you are getting the opinion of a tree surgeon and can they direct any concerns to you (give them your mobile number). Sounds like they are trying to bully a slightly vulnerable old lady.

girlygirly · Yesterday 13:04

Hopefulmama26 · 03/11/2026 19:44

Tree Protection Order

Tree Preservation Order

GasPanic · Yesterday 13:16

If she can't afford to maintain the trees how can she afford to maintain the garden, replace the boiler, fix other random stuff that goes wrong ?

I'd be looking to get some liquidity.

It's no life living in poverty while your house around you falls into ruin.

BestZebbie · Yesterday 17:13

Silver birch in gardens usually only live about fifty years, so they might have a reason to be cautious if they are already 40+ years old.

KaplanCarr · Yesterday 19:25

GasPanic · Yesterday 13:16

If she can't afford to maintain the trees how can she afford to maintain the garden, replace the boiler, fix other random stuff that goes wrong ?

I'd be looking to get some liquidity.

It's no life living in poverty while your house around you falls into ruin.

Someone cuts her grass and luckily her boiler hasn’t broken down but she’s not had it serviced for a few years thought I’ve tried to tell her she really should. She could do with a lot of new things but she won’t move now so there’s nothing I can say.

OP posts:
GrantMyWishes · Yesterday 19:46

Do all the people saying that the old lady needs to move, and release capital, actually realise just how hard a move is on someone that is 85 years of age?

The last time I moved was 3 years ago, and I'm only 67 now, but in all honesty the thought of having to go through all that again, is enough to make me want to hide myself away, and bolt all the doors, so I really can't imagine how a lady who is almost 20 years older than me would cope with it, and all because some entitled neighbours who only moved in 4 years ago, want to throw their weight about.

OP, please stand up for your G.A. and tell her neighbours to stop pestering her, and if they have anything else to say, either say it to you in person, or put it in a letter or email to you. Sadly it's likely that your poor G.A will be dead soon enough, and the last thing she needs is people causing her worry, when it really isn't necessary.

KaplanCarr · Yesterday 19:52

GrantMyWishes · Yesterday 19:46

Do all the people saying that the old lady needs to move, and release capital, actually realise just how hard a move is on someone that is 85 years of age?

The last time I moved was 3 years ago, and I'm only 67 now, but in all honesty the thought of having to go through all that again, is enough to make me want to hide myself away, and bolt all the doors, so I really can't imagine how a lady who is almost 20 years older than me would cope with it, and all because some entitled neighbours who only moved in 4 years ago, want to throw their weight about.

OP, please stand up for your G.A. and tell her neighbours to stop pestering her, and if they have anything else to say, either say it to you in person, or put it in a letter or email to you. Sadly it's likely that your poor G.A will be dead soon enough, and the last thing she needs is people causing her worry, when it really isn't necessary.

Thank you for your understanding, it’s great and reassuring the majority on here have been both and helpful

OP posts:
Limehawkmoth · Yesterday 19:59

KaplanCarr · 03/11/2026 20:08

They aren’t leaning and are well enclosed to not fully expose to the winds in the way some houses are. They do shed a lot of leaves and I know that must be annoying but I wonder why they’d buy a house so close to mature trees.

Hang on…Silver birch are, imho, the single worst tree to have once they’re mature. They shed bucket loads of tiny seeds, literally bucket loads. They get everywhere. They clog up drains, gutters even from a house next door but one. They pick up on shoes and end up being walked into house. They come flying through open windows. They can even block you car ventilation fans. Honestly they’re a menace and should be outlawed to allow to grow above a small pretty ornamental 10 foot.
The issue is not “shedding a few leaves”🤯🤣

however there isn’t a law to outlaw allowing them to grow to a menacing and nuisance size with its increasing bucket loads of seeds, You can plant, allow to grow and keep annoying the shit out of your neighbours with the fall out off those tiny buggers for years and years.

so, GA can refuse to get them cut at her expense. Completely her legal choice. She should look at insurance though to ensure it’s covered, and she needs to check those tall trees aren’t breaking terms of own insurance by being within x feet of her foundations. If they’ve only been there for 30 years, they should be good for another 20 years before root start to be compromised, but nothing is a given.

yep, neighbours almost certainly hate them because of seeds, and want them down. Frankly I’m surprised GA can stand them as well 🤷‍♀️🤣. But she shouldn’t be pressured into cutting them down at her expense. Up to neighbours to show, or ask to test, that trees are unsafe, to force her to do this.

my advice, GA needs to check insurance, and then start to save. At some point she may be forced to remove them as they can be proved to be unsafe. But for now she can be the nuisance neighbour that resists doing anything.

GrantMyWishes · Yesterday 20:06

Limehawkmoth · Yesterday 19:59

Hang on…Silver birch are, imho, the single worst tree to have once they’re mature. They shed bucket loads of tiny seeds, literally bucket loads. They get everywhere. They clog up drains, gutters even from a house next door but one. They pick up on shoes and end up being walked into house. They come flying through open windows. They can even block you car ventilation fans. Honestly they’re a menace and should be outlawed to allow to grow above a small pretty ornamental 10 foot.
The issue is not “shedding a few leaves”🤯🤣

however there isn’t a law to outlaw allowing them to grow to a menacing and nuisance size with its increasing bucket loads of seeds, You can plant, allow to grow and keep annoying the shit out of your neighbours with the fall out off those tiny buggers for years and years.

so, GA can refuse to get them cut at her expense. Completely her legal choice. She should look at insurance though to ensure it’s covered, and she needs to check those tall trees aren’t breaking terms of own insurance by being within x feet of her foundations. If they’ve only been there for 30 years, they should be good for another 20 years before root start to be compromised, but nothing is a given.

yep, neighbours almost certainly hate them because of seeds, and want them down. Frankly I’m surprised GA can stand them as well 🤷‍♀️🤣. But she shouldn’t be pressured into cutting them down at her expense. Up to neighbours to show, or ask to test, that trees are unsafe, to force her to do this.

my advice, GA needs to check insurance, and then start to save. At some point she may be forced to remove them as they can be proved to be unsafe. But for now she can be the nuisance neighbour that resists doing anything.

FFS!! Have you got no compassion for an elderly lady?

KaplanCarr · Yesterday 20:33

Limehawkmoth · Yesterday 19:59

Hang on…Silver birch are, imho, the single worst tree to have once they’re mature. They shed bucket loads of tiny seeds, literally bucket loads. They get everywhere. They clog up drains, gutters even from a house next door but one. They pick up on shoes and end up being walked into house. They come flying through open windows. They can even block you car ventilation fans. Honestly they’re a menace and should be outlawed to allow to grow above a small pretty ornamental 10 foot.
The issue is not “shedding a few leaves”🤯🤣

however there isn’t a law to outlaw allowing them to grow to a menacing and nuisance size with its increasing bucket loads of seeds, You can plant, allow to grow and keep annoying the shit out of your neighbours with the fall out off those tiny buggers for years and years.

so, GA can refuse to get them cut at her expense. Completely her legal choice. She should look at insurance though to ensure it’s covered, and she needs to check those tall trees aren’t breaking terms of own insurance by being within x feet of her foundations. If they’ve only been there for 30 years, they should be good for another 20 years before root start to be compromised, but nothing is a given.

yep, neighbours almost certainly hate them because of seeds, and want them down. Frankly I’m surprised GA can stand them as well 🤷‍♀️🤣. But she shouldn’t be pressured into cutting them down at her expense. Up to neighbours to show, or ask to test, that trees are unsafe, to force her to do this.

my advice, GA needs to check insurance, and then start to save. At some point she may be forced to remove them as they can be proved to be unsafe. But for now she can be the nuisance neighbour that resists doing anything.

I can genuinely say I’ve never noticed small seeds. Leaves yes but all trees ahed leaves but no seeds and I have to walk past it most days

OP posts:
Limehawkmoth · Yesterday 21:20

GrantMyWishes · Yesterday 20:06

FFS!! Have you got no compassion for an elderly lady?

Yep, you’ve missed point entirely…I’ve said clearly she is completely in her rights to not be pressured

but my response was to the bastard silver birch and comment from niece re a few leaves…it aint the leaves that are the nuisance…

Limehawkmoth · Yesterday 21:24

KaplanCarr · Yesterday 20:33

I can genuinely say I’ve never noticed small seeds. Leaves yes but all trees ahed leaves but no seeds and I have to walk past it most days

Then not silver birch? Maybe just ordinary birch?
they come down once a year in veritable blizzard over two weeks around august- October depending on weather.

go online to check tree…and look at number of forums posting on the problems these seeds cause. It’s just the silver birch.

NotAnotherScarf · Yesterday 22:43

GrantMyWishes · Yesterday 11:56

At last someone talking sense!! All these people saying she should pay, it's her responsibility, etc. are just spouting rubbish for the sake of having something to say.

I can't help wondering how many of the people saying she should pay for someone else's 'wants', when she has no money, would be willing to do what they're suggesting if they were in the same position.

OP, please just tell your Aunt that she has nothing to worry about, and tell the neighbours that they chose to buy their property in the full knowledge that the trees were there. If they had surveys done, it's likely that the surveyor would have mentioned the trees if they noticed them and thought they were dangerous, and finally, tell them to make sure they have good buildings insurance as that way they won't have to worry even if the worst should happen, which is unlikely. Personally, I think your G.A. is being very generous in agreeing to let them trim the trees or remove them, if THEY are prepared to pay, as if it were me, they wouldn't have a hope in hell of me agreeing to them chopping back nice trees, unless they were actually overhanging their property, in which case they are legally entitled to do so.

The only time you can force someone to change if you've moved there is if there's a nuisance. As in the tort of nuisance under English law. The famous case is a dentist who built an extension next to a baker...the noise from the baker was deemed a nuisance so he had to stop. Leaves falling from a tree is part of life not a nuisance so wouldn't be held against the aunt.

BunkBedsArePeopleShelves · Yesterday 23:12

stichguru · 03/11/2026 20:54

My late parents had a silver birch tree in their garden since before my birth. They brought it back from the local garden centre in the car with the boot open in about 1977. When we sold the house last year it was maybe 40-50 feet tall, and they had maybe 2 ft cut off every couple of years. I find it very hard to believe "hey bought their house about 4 years ago and nothings has changed, they haven’t suddenly grown" I would say that is about 4 ft of growth. That's significant. Your aunt needs to get them cut. That's her responsibility. She knew this when she bought a house with fast growing trees in the garden.

Absolute nonsense. She doesn't need tj cut the trees just because her neighbour wants them cut
She has no responsibility to keep them a certain size. There is no suggestion they are dangerous.

She doesn't have to do a damn thing.

Wearesurrounded · Today 00:34

Your local area should have an official Tree Warden who can advise if the trees are dangerous.They can maje an appointment to offer advise.

Your local Parish council should have a contact for this.

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