AIBU to be furious at DS15 over his behaviour and holiday footwear choices?

[TheZanyPanda]

We’ve just landed in Florida for a week-long family holiday. There’s me, DH, DS13 and DS15. We spent a fortune before we came out getting everyone kitted out with new clothes and brand-new trainers—including a lovely pair of Nike Dunks for DS15.

We picked out his travel outfit together: hoodie, baggy joggers, and his box-fresh Dunks with classic white Nike socks. Looked great.

Fast forward to checking into the hotel last night. DS15 is sitting on the armchair, his joggers ride up, and I notice... no socks. (He spent all summer going sockless in old knackered Vans and Astro turf boots which I didn't mind because they were already ruined, but still!). Anyway, I went into their room later and it absolutely reeked. Turns out he wore his brand-new Dunks with no socks for the entire journey here! 🤢

This morning, before heading to the theme parks, we wanted a family photo. DH and DS13 look great in fresh shorts and new trainers with ankle socks. DS15? Sockless again.

I gently pointed out that:

1. He’s going to get horrific blisters in the Florida heat.
2. He’s going to completely ruin his new Dunks in days.
3. The trainer smell is already vile.

He kicked off in front of everyone, telling me to "grow up," "get a life," and "what’s it got to do with me?!"

Later, I popped back to the room for suncream and thought I'd take him a pair of trainer socks just in case. Had a quick nosey in his suitcase... there are literally zero socks in his entire bag. He has actively planned and packed to go sockless for the whole week.

DH says to leave him to it, but we are the ones sharing a room and hire car with his melting, stinking feet! AIBU to be furious with his behaviour and choices!

Will this matter this time next year? will it even matter this time next week? I doubt it somehow

I’m team DH on this one, Pick your battles , socks and a 15 year old really isn’t a hill worth dying on. Let him get on with being sockless and if he ends up with blisters that’s down to him and he can stay at the hotel while you enjoy your holiday.

I suspect this is also a kickback to the curated happy family photos you are trying to create “DH and younger child looking great and presentable in new shorts etc. “

You can't tell a 15 year old what to wear. If you do expect the reaction you have received.
I am with your DH. Leave it, your DS will decide to wear socks or not. They are his feet and his trainers.
Buy some air freshener. Let it go. Enjoy your holiday 🌻❤️🍂

I voted YABU for reasons explained at length by many of the responses. I think other posters have given you a hard time, but seriously I think you should do some reading about teen development - this phase your 15 yo is now in is all about a learning phase in preparation for adulthood and independence in which he establishes his identity a distinct from the parents' - his brain is working out who he is in his own right, and clothing is a very safe and "expressive" way of exploring that.

Is this battle what you want to remember from a holiday in Florida. If he gets blisters let him learn the hard way. Put the trainers in a bag if they stink that much. Leave him be, laugh at his naivety if you must and enjoy your holiday.

OMG. I dont have, but have had a 15 year old boy. Total Nightmare! Honestly, this is not worth the fight. Enjoy your holiday. Hopefully he will too.

I can’t get over spending a fortune on new outfits (and massively expensive trainers) before a holiday, which was presumably already expensive, or giving a shiny sh*t about how my kids look when they are travelling. I literally cannot fathom it. If it’s for photos for SM your priorities are a bit wonky. As others say, read more about teen development, and maybe have a think about what really matters in life.

Why would socks affect a photo? Bizarre.

Honestly is this worth the battle? He doesn't want to look the way you want him to look. Your husband is right. Leave him to it. He's on holidays, he should be able to dress how he wants.

He's 15 ! My son at 6 told me he wouldn't wear matching top and shorts sets 😂😂😂

Meh. Leave him to it. When his feet are painful buy some socks and odor eaters. Go hard on the I told you so. For some, experiential learning has more impact than theory.

My kid did something similar at 14/15. Wouldn't sit with me to pack. She can do it all blah blah blah, I'm just annoying, what do I think she is, incompetent. She pack about an hour before we left. We arrived at the hotel in Orlando after our flight. Her sister and I had a nice refreshing shower before bed. Kiddo is looking sheepish......she hasn't packed knickers. I shrug and tell her she best get scrubbing in the sink and will need to do that each night. I saw her shoulders slump. She didn't even try and blame me for not reminding her. I had tried to help her pack. Because I'm a nice parent I went to CVS and bought her some pants. We now, a decade later, still have a pants check conversation.

Not worth the aggro. If he wants blisters and stinky trainers at that age, just leave him to it. If he ruins the trainers, he’ll have to wear ruined trainers. Pick your battles.

It was unwise to wear new shoes that haven't been broken in yet.

Clothing is personal and not something to pick a fight about.

Some people find socks very uncomfortable and can only wear (from a sensory perspective) inside out socks or specialist seam free ones. Because socks are now an argument about autonomy between you, you're not going to be able to introduce this concept into discussion for a while.

You are however in the US where healthcare is seriously expensive. Keep an eye on blisters getting very big / looking infected. You don't want to have to find a Minor Injuries Unit equivalent.

I would leave it, but when he’s trashed these nice trainers and wants new ones, just get him cheap ones and explain why.

My kids are a lot younger but if they want fashionable things, they know they need to take care of them or they get whatever is on special next time.

By 15 they usually dress themselves.
I thought Gen Z (think that's right if Alphas were born in 2013 but anyway) always wore socks at all times, and laughed at us oldies who didn't have socks showing? I actually thought they were more sensible than us that way.

I’d be pissed off but you can’t let it be the theme of the week. Let it go and sit on the urge to say ‘I told you so’ when he’s whinging about blisters.

Ah, Florida with teens. We did that one year. Then went back the year after just the two of us. Bliss.

The key is to not let him ruin everyone else's holiday when he inevitably gets the blisters. He will just have to stay in the hotel room while the rest of you continue to enjoy the holiday. If you flap about rescuing him he will never learn. Please make him learn. His future partner will thank you.

Edited to add, I wouldn't care about the aesthetic? Who notices if people are wearing socks or not in photo's. Never known anyone worry about matching to that extent.

They sell sandals in Florida. In all sizes, too!

Urgh feel your pain and Id be seething. My teens shoes and feet stink even with fresh socks daily.

Odour eater soles and spray for shoes. Make sure you have a spare pair trainer socks and some blister plasters when he has to admit defeat.

I’d let it go. And easy to buy socks if need be.

Clean feet, foot deodorant and shoe spray. You can put the trainers in the washing machine on a cool wash. He's 15, there will be more. Save your battles for the ones that matter.

This!

Bizzare. Totally don’t understand your post OP. Poor DS.

And to let us know how many named clothes and shoes they have.

The smell would do my head in... 🤢