To go to work wearing what will look like a hijab?

[AveAtqueVale]

Recently had a nasty face/ head injury and surgery afterwards; this has left me with very weird looking hair on one side, dramatic looking scars and sticky things in various places and most irritatingly an incredibly sensitive ear that starts niggling painfully at me if any breath of air moves against it. Mostly because of the last issue I've been wearing a beanie or a woolly scarf tied under my chin all the time at home.
I'm going back to work for the first time tonight (doctor) and it has occurred to me that the beanie or scarf will look very weird, and that I don't particularly want to have an 'omg what happened to your head?!' conversation with every patient I see, not to mention being constantly annoyed by ear pain. I have a few nice silk scarves - would I be unreasonable to wear one of these tied neatly rpund my head and neck like a hijab? I feel it will look a lot smarter than the beanie and cause less comment from patients than letting it all hang out, but I don't want to offend or upset Muslim colleagues who know I'm not!

It’s just a headscarf. A hijab typically covers the neck as well, not every headscarf is a hijab.

@AveAtqueVale

Just another thought, do you really think a patient would ask you such personal questions.
I've seen numerous consultants, registrars, nurses, gps and other clinical staff over the last 9 months. I wouldnt dream of commenting on their clothes, except once in one of the heatwaves, one of the oncologists was looking exceptionally cool and non sweaty, and I asked what her secret was to keeping cool.

No Muslim person would care. People wear scarves for all sorts of reasons.

Good luck with your shift. Going back on nights after something like this feels a bit harsh of your rota coordinator…

I'm sorry what's happened to you, OP. Yes, it's fine, it's a great idea. Patients won't care and neither should your colleagues.

Oops sorry I feel like I didn't explain very well - thanks for all the responses/ suggestions. I know I can wear a scarf/ head cover, of course, and I don't think offended is the right word for what I'm worried my colleagues will feel. More... bemused? Copied? The way I'm thinking of tying it around my neck as well so the side of my face is also covered does look very hijab-esque. Sort of like in the picture which will hopefully attach. I have a couple of colleagues in particular I'm thinking of who wear their hijabs this way and I don't want them to think I'm being weird. But I do realise I'm probably overthinking - slightly nervous about going back - I haven't really been off that long but it somehow feels long, and haven't been able to sleep much today which doesn't help.

@Ted27 unfortunately yes! You sound lovely and considerate but I am continually astounded by the personal questions/ remarks I get. I actually don't really mind in general (though the lady who once asked me if it found it awkward to be fat as a doctor did slightly throw me) but don't really want to have this particular conversation multiple times tonight.

@TrainAlwaysLate to be fair it didn't occur to me to ask the rota coordinator to change the shifts - they probably would have! Doing the weekend nights works well for half term childcare though!!

Forgot to add the picture 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think it will be fine @AveAtqueVale I am sorry you have had a nasty injury. Hope you're better soon!

Something like this is quite discrete https://amzn.eu/d/0eLnuacx

My nanna (Catholic) used to wear a scarf over her head all the time. It was very common among the old women at that time, especially the Irish Catholics.

My nanna’s scarf looked just like that but tied under her chin.

This is a funny still from Father Ted. See the scarf on this actress’s head? Just like that, in fact my nanna dressed just like her too!

I think that looks beautiful.

You will need pins to hold the folds in place or you'll be constantly adjusting/checking especially if it's in a smooth material. If you have a sewing kit those pins with the bobble on the end are ideal.

Often ladies in hijab will wear a tight fitting head covering underneath to give something to pin the decorative scarf to to stop it slipping.

That might be uncomfortable for your ear though, but you could try a cut up pair of tights if you wanted to try.

Yes

I’ve never seen any Muslims claim they’re the only ones to have head coverings. It’s only ever virtue signaling influencers who think they need permission (not calling you that).

As a Muslim female doctor who wears a headscarf you will not offend anyone at all. They might think of wait I didn’t realise so and so was Muslim but doesn’t matter. If your neck isn’t affected and you don’t need to cover it then maybe look up a turban style which looks less overtly Muslim (although a lot of Muslims also wear this - I also do if I want to be less overt).

But the real question is why didn’t your doctor/surgeon sign you off work??? I would have!

I voted YABU for even worrying about this. If you want to wear it and have good reason to then why would that offend anyone and even if it did, too bad as you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.

All women of a certain generation did that, my nan and all her sisters. It’s not Irish or catholic (or relevant really).

I think your proposed solution is good OP. I hope you get well soon.

Sorry if I snapped. It’s just that female doctors have a lot of experience of people calling them nurses. Which male doctors don’t have.

I doubt any patients will ask, other than maybe some might say 'nice headscarf', if they like it. I would never ask my doctor this. It's none of my business.

If any colleagues comment, then surely you can just tell them what happened?

The scarf in your picture looks very elegant. You can explain to your colleagues that you haven’t converted (!!!) but it’s just to cover your injuries for public facing work. Wishing you a swift recovery.

Absolutely fine, I actually had to wear one when I was working in Oman, and I was a bit hopeless at putting it on, but my female muslim colleagues taught me to do it with no need for any sort of clips (quite amazing), but if you take a couple of kirby grips or a small crocodile type clip it is defo easier if you don't have the help. And do not give two hoots what people think. You do not need to explain to anyone. I have worn a scarf since when I did not really need to (in India) because it was baking hot, and it sort of helps. Wishing you a swift recovery. xx

I wear head scarfs all the time and I’m not religious. No one has ever said anything, it’s just part of my style. Anyone can wear a head scarf in whatever way they like.

Wear whatever will make you feel comfortable (physically and emotionally). I completely understand the need not to talk about scars all the time, it’s so draining when you just want to get on. The things people have said to me are outrageous and at work you just don’t want to add that.
I would recommend getting a few under caps (super cheapnon eBay/ Amazon) so you can wash them daily, and being close fitting they won’t annoy the nerve pain, plus stop silk scarves slipping. Hijab magnets are also great to secure the scarf without pins

Orthodox Jewish women also cover their heads, with sheitels (wigs), headscarves or snoods.

No worries. Serves me right trying to write a post in a café full of screaming teenagers overexited on a Friday afternoon after school.