Aibu to tell the mum?

[BettysMum2]

My year 6 daughter has a school friend who has decided she is a therian, wants them all to pander to it, call her hands paws when they are together, etc. She’s a nice girl with nice parents, but my daughter says her parents have no idea about it all. Some of the chats from her are very teen angst and melodramatic. It does present as being an attention seeking strategy but a little manipulative in how she expects the others to bend reality to affirm her status as an animal in human clothing so to speak.
If it was my daughter I would really want to know about it so I could address it, but I don’t know this mother well and would rather not create tension at the school gate.

Yabu- don’t tell the mother. Maybe she knows, or you’ll start a drama
yanbu- tell the mother, give her a chance to address it

@BettysMum2
A so-called "friend" like that would do my head in
And I'm willing to bet her parents just let her get on with it because who needs possible dramatic melt-down temper tantrums 24/7?
Tell your daughter she could try to make other friends then hopefully this girl will be on the periphery of her circle and things overall will settle down

I think you’re right to leave it with the mum. But reinforce where appropriate with your DD that therian means someone thinks they are a human with ‘the soul’ of an animal. Does she think this can actually happen? I’ve been dealing with the same issue with my kids and I think it is important to teach them to think critically about this stuff. My DDs don’t want to tell their friend they don’t think she’s really a cat because they don’t want to upset her. That’s the tricky part as you say, the pressure. But as long as they are grounded in reality that’s all we can do I think.

I think you're overreacting to a primary school kid dressing up as an animal. Nothing wrong with a y6 kids indulging in a bit of play. Nothing to make a drama out of.

If your dd doesn't want to call her hands paws, then maybe roleplay through how she can handle that? It will be good for her social skills to practice managing minor differences with friends and expressing she doesn't like it.

Tbf I used to pretend to be a vampire till I was about 11. Secondary school will knock it out of her, trust me. Just tell your daughter to calmly say “no” and then try and move on. Don’t give the girl the attention and she will probably stop and find something else like just being a goth (that’s what I did).

Don't bother mentioning it. She's what? 10? Give it a month and she'll have moved onto something else.

She's a child using her imagination. My daughter and her friends are really into cats and the Warrior Cat books, they are 10 and it is a fad. They are both dressing up as cats for Halloween. They love animals, are reading lots of books and learning new things every day. I actually think this is healthier than being into make up and skincare. My 7 year old likes to crawl around on the floor and pretend he's a bull! Let them play and use their imagination. They will grow out of it!

I think that some people forget what schools are for. Parents should teach their children this aspect of life - teachers have more than enough on their plates.

I think there's a difference between pretending to be a cat as part of a game (e.g. role playing Warrior Cats), and saying you're a therian? The friend isn't saying 'let's pretend to be cats' she's saying 'I'm a cat in a human body and you have to accept this as a fact'.

I don't think it requires any action from the OP other than talking to her DD about how to respond. But there is a difference between the two behaviours as far as I'm concerned!

Edited to add - I'd be concerned about what the girl is accessing online if she even knows about Therians at age 11!

I'm guessing this is the modern day equivalent of Mods, Rockers, Skinheads, Punks etc. Anything to be 'different'.

Well not really .. it’s not a style of music or dress .. pretending/being/acting like an animal rather than a human is pretty different, and ridiculous. The sooner the world stops all this hoohaa nonsense the better. Back in my day.. yes you have a vivid imagination, but no you’re not an actual cat, I will not call your hands paws. Nowadays, oh yes young Jenny is now a cat, she eats her meals from a cat bowl, she crawls around the house on all fours, we check her paws daily to make sure she’s clean. I know which sounds more normal and sensible 🤷‍♀️

Feeding them cat food and giving them a litter tray will soon persuade them out of it.