to want to move a million miles away from this god-forsaken s**thole?

[Divastrop]

i really cant be doing with the shit-stirring little bitches in this neighbourhood anymore.i am trying to bring my children up to be decent,caring people,but i wonder why i bother sometimes when i could just chuck them out to play all day and sit in the pub/back street getting pissed and not giving a flying f**k what my dc are upto but threatening anyone who dares tell them off with violence.

i am struggling with depression,a ds who's behaviour at school is out of control,another ds who speaks to me like shit all the time plus i cant remember the last time 15mo dd3 last slept through the night due to teething/bugs/colds

i have no family or friends to support me,and now dh has reached breaking point and walked out.

i think you should move

i remember from your other threads you cannot even get access to the right sort of medical help

if you can move, move.

is DH coming back?

you must all be exhuasted and totally run down with it all

Poor you. Whereabouts are you? If moving will be good for your family then you should move heaven and earth to make it happen.
(and you have us here - not the same as rl friends, I grant you, but will we do?)

he said he was coming back.he might not though if he has time to think he will probably realise he doesnt want to be with me any more.

I obviously don't know your full circumstances (other than what you have posted) but clearly both you and your DH are at the end of your tether and perhaps you should seriously talk about the possibility of moving. It comes across that you are struggling and I feel for you.

i live in cumbria,not the nice lake district though.i am from essex originally,i moved here with xp 11 years ago.ive moved away twice before but ended up coming back.it is a small town with small town attitudes and ive never fit in.but the oldest 2 are at a really good school and they dont want to leave it

Come back to the South dear, sit down in a familiar place and have a cup of tea. Let yourself breath again with long slow breaths, not sharp 'jesus christ what now' ones!!
How old are the older children?

they are 10 and 9.ds1 will be going into year 6 and dd1 into year 5 in september.we were thinking of moving in 2 years when dd1 goes to seniors,ds2 to juniors and dd2 to reception.but i dont know if i can cope that long.im so scared of moving and it being even worse than it is now.we are in HA property so the only viable option would be to exchange with somebody....and somebody would have to be desperate to want to move up here!

Diva sorry to hear things are so bad. Has DH really gone or just on a strop?

My Mum was in a similar situation. Not that the area was as bad as yours, it was actually quite pleasant, but she hated it and was far from anyone she knew. She decided to stay because we were all settled at school. And of course the moment we turned 18, one by one we left and she was stuck in the place until retirement! I promised myself that if I ever got myself into this situation, I would not make the same decision. If you get a chance to go, go!

Diva just spotted this.

2 or 3 years ago I was living in a place I HATED -I was depressed, it was the blackest time.
Since moving even when I am having a difficult day I just think 'at least I'm not living in the last place' and I'm ecstatically happy about that everyday!

Move, move, move.

Does your dh want to move? Maybe he has walked out to express how unbearable he is finding things and force a change to be neccessary.

But maybe you ought to demand that he returns immediately to help you look at the options. Ask him does he run away from his guild when they are having problems? I bet he doesn't!

I keep saying it but you need a holiday so much. Even if you could get away for a short time it would really help clear your head.

It is difficult to deal with this when you are depressed but if you can drag yourself up enough to take control of the situation, it will help your depression.
You need hope for the future.

You are so clever, you have achieved so much. There is a whole other world out there for you. It will be a bit of a slog to change things but it'll be worth it.

Diva why not plan some points in time to look forward to, days away etc to get by....
BTW it's more important for your dcs to have a happy mummy than finish at a school, probably best to move before the big school move too.
I'm sure if you presented your depression as part of the reason to move you could use it to get gone faster.

Move definitely. Things will work out in the new place and it's unlikely you'll be as unhappy. Not surprised you're unhappy in carlisle. have heard it's a dump from a workmate. Think how happy you and your kids could be.

dh came back at 9.15 last night and said he hoped i understood why he needed to get out for a bit etc,which is fair enough as he only does that once in a blue moon when he's at breaking point and he's never been gone more than 2 hours(he just goes to his dad's for a brew and rant).

toastandbutter-i am actually in barrow,which is worse than carlisle(i lived in carlisle for a while).

rosy-dh wants to move,he has done for ages.he said its up to me where we move(so translated that means 'if we move and it all goes tits-up then it will be your fault').dd1 does not want to change schools under any circumstances(her words).i dont know if she is picking up on my anxieties though.

knowing me i will ummm and ahhh and procrastinate untill something(probably quite small) happens to tip me over the edge then i will become decisive and efficient untill the necessary changes have been made

(btw rosy,my mum said that passports are only needed to travel to southern ireland)

divastrop - agree with everyone who says move. Live somewhere you are happy.

Is a short holiday possible for you all - even a weekend away could help you talk through moving. Lots of support to you xxx

Diva come on over then! Let me know so I can get tidying