AIBU to not want to camp

[TellMeWhyIHateSundays]

I’m a scout leader and because of some of my other voluntary roles I’m a Duke of Edinburgh supervisor/assessor. I’ve been asked by another group if I’d help out with their gold expedition this half term as they desperately needed another supervisor.
Yesterday when I asked about details I found out that I’m expected to camp for four nights! I’m in my mid 50s and just a bit too old for this, especially as I’ll be packing up each day and moving to the next campsite so I can’t even take a decent sized tent with campbed etc! I’m just not wanting to sleep on a foam mattress in a tiny tent

What annoys me is that the two (much younger!) leaders from this group have a campervan they’ll be staying in. So they just assumed I’d be camping and ok with that. Nothing has been sorted about meals so I’ll be left to cook on a camping stove whilst they’re in their warm cosy van or paying to eat out.

Of in giving up my annual leave to help out AIBU to expect a bed for the trip?? I know they want to keep costs down but we could have found a bunkhouse, scout hut or hostel if we looked in advance. Taking care of your volunteers is surely part of the planning

Will make sure I ask the details before offering to help next time. Of course I’ll suck it up this time, not letting the young people down.

I was DofE lead in my school & only really took it on as a favour. Did a few expeditions over weekends in torrential rain & after that had to factor in me staying in cabin or something. Or if camping in a tent to not move sites each night. I’m mid 50s & it’s definitely harder with getting up and out of a tent in the rain than when I was in my 30s. Also needing the loo a couple of times a night doesn’t help. I didn’t need to do that in my 30s. So it’s definitely harder.

I don’t think you should be expected to cook alone, you should get a take away provided or at least cook together.

We had expedition company doing the assessing & they all have camper vans.

I agree it’s different camping in October too - it gets dark early & it’s colder & the grass will be wet when you’re crawling in & out of the tent.

October half term will be freezing OP

You'll need a proper camping setup to be comfortable for 4 nights and that won't be easy to take down and set up every day

I'd be saying you want indoor accommodation or you won't do it. It's the nature of asking for a last minute favour that it costs more. You are already taking annual leave & more than doing your bit to help.

YNBU. I’m 27 and I’m too old for camping, I delegate that one to my husband. The kids can have a wonderful time camping and appreciating the outdoors with their dad.

Genuinely, this seems to me like one of those things that’s just not your problem. They should have sorted this sooner.

I volunteered weeks ago to help. It’s my fault for not checking at the time. This weekend I’ve been sent the details, including the camping situation.

Did they specify they won't be cooking for you? That seems a bit harsh if they did. If not you can say "I assume you're cooking for me too?".

(And carrying your - more luxurious - tent and a proper camp bed plus toilet tent right next door to yours).

Are you a qualified DofE supervisor? Normally they are qualified ML''s at gold with the supervisors certificate so doing hiking and camping regularly in their personal life.

Im a scout hiking permit holder - not quite ML level but similar. I’m also a formal DofE supervisor and accredited assessor. I’ve done all the scout and DofE training. That’s one reason why they need me and why I volunteered as District paid for my training.

I still hike and climb most weekends myself and love helping getting young people in to the hills. In the past I have certainly camped plenty including bivvying up mountains in the alps. I’m perfectly capable of camping if I had to (except I don’t currently have a tent, I loaned it to my son at uni) and in the summer I took some of ours wild camping in the Lake District for a night.
it’s just a case that I don’t really want to - not for four nights in Oct. Most of my climbing trios these days include a cosy pub or a comfy B&B. I’m getting soft!!

I just wanted to gauge opinions that I wasn’t making a fuss over nothing before insisting on sorting alternatives out

Ah right. I'm not sure if I think you are unreasonable. If it was something you were organising or had asked to go on I would say yes you are. But if they need you to be able to run this then you can place whatever conditions on participation you like.

50 year olds talking like they are coffin dodgers. Cant camp at 50! You are going to have the dullest old age if you are this decrepit at 50.
If you cant be arsed to camp thats fine. But dont talk as if its and age thing. No wonder people get patronised.

Explain exactly what you need.

We give our leaders a 4 man tent and a campbed. We need to sleep well while wr can as we work hard.

October half term is after the clocks go back so it's going to be dark by 5.30pm.

I love camping and don't mind the cold but it's the long dark evenings that stop me camping at this time of year.

What will you do in the evenings. Dark, cold, possibly wet and 5 hours til bedtime. Sounds crap.

You aren't being unreasonable at all, and as a parent whos child has just completed his gold expedition I fully expect to cover the costs incurred by volunteers. What his leaders did was spend the four days at one decent campsite, and drive each evening to the contact with the young people- its not like we are talking hundreds of miles here and I think that is at the least a decent compromise, so you are only setting up once. And the unit should be covering your costs too, including food.

If you are 50/60 plus and still as fit and nimble as you were in your 30s then well done you. But it is just fact that the older you get the more likely you are to have a bad back/ stiff joints / general discomfort sleeping on something that is not a proper bed. And that's before you consider the inevitable toilet visit in the middle of the night. If you don't have this in your 50s/60s, again, lucky you.

I'm in my 60s and consider myself far from decrepit and definitely not old yet and my life is far from dull. But you wouldn't catch me in a tent* at any time of year let alone October.

We slept for one night in a monastery up a mountain in China earlier this year and that's about as Spartan as I want to get.

*Barring perhaps the most luxurious of glamping options and even then I would want a nice toilet close by

Having just seen the weather forecast this might all be academic…

You’re not being unreasonable. I’m a fit late fifties cub leader, and have been camping three times a year with my cub pack for the last 20 years. It definitely gets harder! I used to be fine with a single roll
mat and a tiny tent, but about 5 years ago I felt too old to be crawling out of a tent after sleeping on the floor, in the wet at 6am.

So I bought a bigger tent, that I can stand up in, and a foldable camp bed. This has made all the difference. But it means that it takes longer to pitch and take down, and I wouldn’t want to be doing that every day.

So you are not unreasonable to want just a touch more comfort, especially in October! Could you contact local scout huts in the area and see if you can stay there? Or stay indoors at a scout campsite? Either way, I think this is on the DofE organisers to sort, and you shouldn’t be out of pocket for anything, including food.

You sound like a saint and a totally wonderful person to have in the community. If the couple whose group it is need your help desperately one of them should camp and offer the place to you if there is no b&b budget.

Personally I would go back and say 'Sorry, I didn't realise this would mean sleeping in a tent so I'm going to have to say no unless an alternative sleeping arrangement can be made.'

I used to love camping when I was in my 30s, but now I'm in my 50s it's just too uncomfortable - I've lost the youthful padding I used to have around my hips and bum and it's bloody uncomfortable to sleep on anything that isn't a proper mattress.

You will just have to suck it up, but flatly refuse another time.
I would have refused mid 20's, camping is always awful.

If your joints are still in tip-top condition in your 50s then I'm very pleased for you. I've got arthritis in my knees which I didn't have when I was camping in my 20s and 30s. Sorry if that disappoints.

I used to camp at 30 and 40, but now I'm 57, my hips are sore, I get up at least once a night to pee, and I sleep badly due to menopause. Totally with you OP.

I enjoy camping. Go every year. Young enough that I’m fit to camp and I wouldn’t camp in October half term. I would insist on a b&b and they’ll have to find the budget for it

My joints are not in tip top condition but that's down to a broken knee a few years ago and some bursitis that's about to be treated. So I'll happily camp WITH a lovely comfy bed and a loo nearby.

I don’t understand why you’re doing this tbh

Age has nothing to do with OP's issue. It is the fact that although she is volunteering to keep the show on the road, no one has thought of her at all. Imagine leaving a woman of any age on her own, in a tent in cold, dark late October, no meals or transport provided. Honestly it is beyond belief. OP is NOT doing the DoE trek herself!

Maybe it's an oversight on behalf of the organisers. I think she needs to lay her cards on the table and unless they provide some sort of fixed indoor shelter, no matter how primitive, she is not going. A tent is not something to look forward to at any age.