To not socialise with school mums in future

[Warmfluffyjumper]

I have been on a couple of (tame) nights out with the schools mums that are interested in socialising 15-20 people, they are all friendly but I cant help but feel they are not my people. I have friends outside of school but I have tried to socialise with the mums with youngest DCs year but I find it hard. Many friendships have already been formed and I am trying to be friendly but there isn't anyone I really click with. I cant really relax and be myself, I do feel like there are mums like me in the other class (2 class intake). This isn't first child, my eldest there was no social gatherings as such at those age due to covid and that was so much better. I feel pressured to join in for fear of being left out.

How do I go through 5 more years of school without the forced fake socialisation or feeling left out?

How do those of you that just cut everyone off do it without causing problems for your child? Its a very cliquey school.

It's never a good idea to put on an act, it drains you in ways far beyond the immediate cost in the moment. All the resources you and your kids need will be available when they need to be, and even when they aren't that will be ok. You shouldn't contort yourself out of shape, it actually doesn't work or help.

There’s no need to bother with this. When your DC wants a play date just WhatsApp the parent directly. In reception you might then also need to entertain the parent but that’s a good way to get to know them.

Wild horses would not have dragged me on a School Mum night out 15-20 strong, not even once. I'm not sure why you would do this, or feel it was a good idea. If there are any you naturally get on with, see those ones. If not then not, it's not compulsory, I promise. No detriment felt here.

I never went on a night out with the other mums when my dc were at primary school. I was friendly with a handful and got on well with one or two in particular but I wasn’t part of any of the groups of mums as such. I wouldn’t say you have to attend these nights out or force a friendship when you’re not feeling it. Just being on friendly terms on the playground and at birthday parties is enough.

Now my dc are in secondary school and the primary school parent social stuff becomes a distant memory quite quickly. It can get a bit intense at times during the primary school era if you end up involved, and it does depend on the parents in the year group. The parents of children in dc1’s year were totally different to the ones in dc2’s year and that can affect how things go down massively.

I think it’s better not to get too involved if you’re not feeling a connection with anyone. Be friendly of course, you never know a lasting friendship may develop over time and you don’t want to burn any bridges. But it’s very likely you’ll never speak to any of these people again once primary school is over, so best not to invest too much into them.

Surely you're over thinking it. Its just a few hours of your life, not a marriage. Look for common ground rather than differences. Were all human