AIBU...Alone at Xmas yet again!

27 replies

TheFunDog · 18/10/2026 00:16

I've got used to my partner not being with me at Xmas, or so I thought.

Relationship over 30 years together, currently living apart.

He visits his family 200 miles away every Xmas, usually tries to come back Xmas eve late or Xmas day early.

He intimated he wasn't going this year and I thought how nice that would be, but he's just informed me that he is going and im really annoyed although more sad I suppose.

I know Xmas is only a few days and I'll have my own family for some of the time.
I also feel he should be with his kids at Xmas if that is what he wants but I'm still feeling really upset.

Any 'helpful' advice?

OP posts:

Empress13 · 18/10/2026 16:44

TheFunDog · 18/10/2026 12:05

Im sorry my post is a little confusing, hard to explain it all, but can I just say that reading your posts has given me clarity with my thoughts.... which is what I wanted.
He's been to his family every Xmas for the last few years, I feel the reason I felt really upset was the fact that this year was going to be different and then of course it isn't.
My upset was caused by my sadness that I thought i was to be prioritised for once, then finding out I wasnt... then you all making me realise that because he gets back for Xmas, he is prioritising me!!
Thanks mumsnetters!!

You still haven’t explained why after 30 years you’re not included in his family Xmas plans ? Why aren’t you invited?

AlwayAnxious · 18/10/2026 17:47

So it wasnt a typo?
He comes back late Xmas Eve or very early Xmas day?
So how is that spending Christmas alone?

Flip

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