Help! DH having general anaesthetic. Friend dreamt he died!

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My DH is having a fairly minor surgery under GA the week after next. I was already quite anxious about it. Then last night he told me that his friend who lives in the US sent a message saying he'd had a weird dream of being notified of his death and to let him know he was still alive! This friend had no knowledge of the upcoming op so it was totally random, and I don't know any more details.

The thing that freaks me out is that in 2021 I had a dream that a close friend of mine who I wasn't in regular contact with had died and I was late to his funeral. I subsequently found out that he HAD died around the time I had my dream.

AIBU to find it hard not to worry about this? How can I talk myself down? DH just finds it funny!

According to google dreamin of death is not a premonition of an actual death but of a big life change. I had to Google it cos I dreamed I died.

The dream means nothing at all.

I had a really upsetting dream of my granddaughter being trapped in rubble after a gas explosion. My DD has since moved house.
I had a very clear dream of my DP dying. I was cleaning the oven, he was reaching into the top cupboard for a viscount, stopped talking, I looked up, he had died from a massive heart attack. He had arterial episodes, but was responding to treatment. We moved the biscuits out of that cupboard and he never came into the kitchen while I was cleaning the oven. Anyway, it's three years on, we've since moved house, he's had major surgery and is still here. He's moved from mint viscount to clubs, just to be on the safe side.
I have predicted pregnancies etc, but the death dreams haven't ever come true. Apparently dreaming about death means there's deep changes happening. In both my GC and DP's case, there was.

Dreams are the brain's equivalent of putting out the rubbish. They can give you an interesting insight into what's going on at the back of your mind, but they don't predict the future.

This gave me a giggle, thanks! Shame he had to give up on viscounts. I didn't even realise they still made them - delicious!

Best thoughts, but dreams are pretty random. I've dreamt at least twice that I was dead!

Sorry to be blunt, but yes I would (say it in real life)

And it isn’t meant unkindly.

Yes, it seems to be an optional procedure, but for something that your DH sought medical advice for (so must be a bit of bother) and which your DH opted for the procedure.

I think it is an issue if decision making is affected by someone else’s anxiety. And where the anxiety is based on such tiny stats and a friends dream.

I am sorry you are worrying, but ‘be kind’ can be very enabling and support a completely irrational level of worry.

If you can’t control your anxiety, then help will surely help? OR just get a hold (aka grip) of the facts. The facts .

I very much hope your DH is supported to make his own decision for his own body and all is well.

Blimey. I think I would rather someone dreamed I died, and then I did.

Firstly, was the friend having a go at your DH because he’s not been in touch? “Oh are you dead cos not heard from you!?” Type thing?

Secondly, I can see you are resistant to the suggestion but this level of anxiety is not normal and I know won’t be limited to just this situation. Therapy isn’t a rude word and as someone who has struggled with anxiety myself, I think you’d really benefit from challenging your thinking and some coping strategies. People often don’t appreciate how non typical their thinking is because they’ve always been a bit like that/its gradually got worse.

Try not to worry. I've dreamed my dad's died in the past but he's still alive at 89.

I had a surgeon once tell me that with minor/routine operations the most dangerous bit is driving to the hospital.

I have had quite a few dreams about being the queen (including one where they couldn't find the crown so I had to wear someone's pants on my head) but none of them have ever come true. Nor has the one about a secret underground cake shop.

1 in 100,000 is 46 times LESS likely than matching four numbers in the Lottery. I'd be very surprised if you've matched four 46 times in your life!

It's also three times LESS likely than matching 4+ 2 stars on the Euromillions.

And here's a graph of 1 in 100,00. The 'one' is the little dot at bottom left. The grey space is all the other numbers from 2 to 100,000. Your DH is much more likely to be somewhere in the grey space, isn't he?!

Surgery being optional or not does not mean a dream will control whether someone dies because of GA or not

My DH is having a fairly minor surgery under GA the week after next. I was already quite anxious about it

Why were you anxious, does he have underlying health issues that would cause complications? If so, he should have had a pre-consult with the anaesthetics team, has this occurred? Is there something you believe he has not told them that is relevant?

What an idiotic thing for his friend to have done. If the"friend" was worried nobody would believe he had the dream if your husband actually died, he should have messaged someone else not the poor sod going under.

It's not like anybody's going to cancel an operation based on a dream by some twerp. Unless he knows that this guy predicts stuff all the time and gets it right, and if that was the case he'd be famous.

Stupid and thoughtless of his "friend".

And of course he had knowledge about it, if they're close enough to message with this sort of guff, your husband has very definitely said something about the operation that put this notion in his "friend's" head.

Lot of bloody silly nonsense.

Ewww, what a nightmare! I once dreamt that Trump turned himself into a bear and was chasing me with the intention of eating me- it hasn't happened yet!