My ex hasn’t seen our children in 3 years. A couple of months ago, he sent me a really long email apologising for the past, explaining his behaviour, saying he cared about the children, wanted a fresh start and would like to see them again if we were comfortable with it. He also said he wanted to start sending money towards the children monthly, something he claimed he’d wanted to do for a long time.
I replied because, despite everything, I thought it must have taken a lot for him to put himself out there like that (it was a really long emotional email). The email sounded vulnerable, and I felt it would be harsh to ignore it. I genuinely thought maybe he’d had some sort of epiphany and wanted to make an effort to see them.
We spoke a bit after that, he sent the odd text checking up on them and he sent some money, saying he’d send it monthly. Then one day he asked how the children were, I replied, and that was it. Nothing since. No more contact, no more money. It’s been over two months since he last contacted or sent any money.
I’m not bothered about the money. I’m more angry with myself for falling for it again and thinking things might finally be different. But I’m also angry with him. Why send such a long, emotional email after three years, saying all these things, only to disappear again two months later? What was the point of reopening the door in the first place?
Part of me wants to message him and tell him exactly what I think. Not because I want him to send money or because I’m desperate for him to see the children, but because I feel like he shouldn’t be able to keep doing this without ever being confronted about it.
He gets to come back when he feels like it, say what he wants to say and then disappear again, while I’m left wondering why I even bothered responding. I know I can’t make him be a father, but I’m sick of this cycle.
Would you confront him, or would you just leave him to it? I feel like if I say nothing, he gets to walk away again without ever having to acknowledge what he’s done. I hate that he gets to think this is ok without ever being called out on it.