Son hates supply teacher, battle to get him in to school

[leandra5]

ND 7yo. Loves his teacher but severely dislikes his other teacher he has 1 day a week. I've never met her. He's never had a problem going to school but he seems to have got in his head that this teacher picks on him. Says she hates him etc. Getting him to school on the 1 day a week where she is teaching is a nightmare. Tears, clinging on to the car door, says he would rather die. Very out of character. Never had a problem getting him to school so am wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this? Is is worth speaking to the school not to accuse but to raise the issues we are having? We are always late on this day as he goes to sleep crying the night before and I have no idea what to do.

I'm autistic and was pretty miserable at primary school. I do remember some supply teachers (my regular teachers kept going on maternity leave) would get cross with me because I wouldn't pick up some things as fast as they wanted me to. Lots of rolled eyes at 7, I remember. I think the problem with me is the autistic spiky profile, so because I was obviously good at some things, when I wasn't as strong it was "clearly me being difficult". I went through a school refusal period too. Lots of "I feel unwell" in the morning.

Clearly the teaching relationship has broken down for whatever reason. I'm now a university lecturer doing research in education (adult, but still applicable). Your son crying himself to sleep the night before is a clear sign that damage has been done and something has to change. He is now in such a state that he will not be performing well the next day. Compounded with her refusal to remind him of her name, which is not at all helpful for a small child who only sees this person once a week. Go speak to the usual class teacher or head and explain what's happening at home.

Obviously you must take this seriously and speak to the school about it, yes.

Only yesterday my 8 year old daughter, couldn´t remember her robotics teacher´s name. I had to offer a couple of names, Oh yeah, Vanessa! The OPs´son doesn´t use the name to address her, so it hasn´t stuck, I bet. I´m also crap with names.
OP My beautifully behaved daughter who loves all her past teachers, when she sees them she runs up to say hello and is all smiles, absolutely hates her new teacher. He´s very much of the" let´s draw the quiet timid ones out of their shells, kicking and screaming if necessary." She was crying, tears rolling down her face, telling me all she doesn´t like about him this weekend. This is a first.

I am giving it a little time, explaining to her that they both have to get to know each other, and the best way to approach each other yet. But if this goes on, I will request a meeting with him as his approach doesn´t seem to be working with her (understatement). The last thing I need is a happy daughter at school to become a school refuser.

How many hours a week does she spend on the company of her robotics teacher?
The teacher will be referred to all the time at school by her name!
He was taking the piss, it would have come across as being arrogant and a putdown pretending he didnt know her name after several weeks. In the unlikely event he genuinely couldn't remember, he should have asked his peers.
she has put him in his place and he didnt like it!
I do think you need to soeak to the school and get to the bottom of what has gone on.

The first step is to speak to the main class teacher and explain the reaction your DS is having. No need to blame the other class teacher, just focus on the issues your DS is having. Ask about what could be done to help improve the relationship between them. If your DS has an EHCP, check that the other teacher has read it and is applying what needs to be done etc. If it persists, then ask for a meeting with the SENCO to discuss further.

Why does he have a supply teacher one day a week? Supply is usually if the teacher is absent.

I had a lovely time as a supply teacher a few uears ago and worked full time covering in 3 difernt schools. I did one Friday every week for a whole year because the teacher had asked to drop to 4 days a week after maternity leave, the school agree but no one wants a permanrnt job of one day a week.

It's actually quite common and there are a couple of supply teachers in my current school doing the same thing.

It's odd that he hasn't asked any of his classmates what her name is, so I'd be taking that at least, with a pinch of salt.