I’m looking for opinions.
I joined an NCT group before having DS. Four of us became close: G and L were particularly good friends, as were B and I. Our children are now five and started school in September.
They attended preschool together, but over time DS and L’s child stopped playing together. From January, DS repeatedly said nobody played with him and he didn’t want to go. Preschool always assured me he was fine.
In March, G and L’s children hit him during an outdoor game. A teacher intervened. G denied her child would do that; L asked me to tell her if it happened again and grounded her child for a month. Unsurprisingly, that didn’t improve their relationship 😅
In July, DS was offered a place at another school. When I asked preschool’s opinion, his keyworker advised taking it. She said L’s child routinely excluded DS and screamed at other children who tried to play with him, so he was often alone. B’s child would either negotiate him into the game or leave to play with him. When I asked why nobody had intervened, she said DS hadn’t cried, so they’d left them to it.
The following week, I requested a meeting. His keyworker had begun maternity leave, and the room lead said she knew nothing about it. She suggested changing DS’s days to avoid G and L’s children. Management later refunded six months’ fees and acknowledged that the situation hadn’t been properly reported.
A noticed we’d changed days. I warned her that she might prefer not to know because she was also friends with G and L, but she wanted the full story. She wasn’t surprised and said she wouldn’t tell L because L would overreact and preschool would handle anything necessary.
A week later, all three stopped speaking to me. B had told L, who went into preschool. I've been told the room lead then described it as “normal five-year-old behaviour", and told L there was nothing to be concerned about. I apologised to L for not telling her myself, who accepted it, but said she should have heard it from me and she felt our friendship had run its course. B said she’d known telling L might backfire, but felt L deserved to know. Because L told her preschool had denied everything, B felt I had misled her.
I rarely see L. G ignores me at a weekly club. I see B every day at school, and although our children remain close friends, she blanks me. Last week she suggested putting it behind us, then went back to ignoring me the following week 😅
I accept that I should probably have spoken to L, but I was focused on DS. He’d been struggling for months while we had no idea why, and the mum guilt hit hard when I learned what had been happening. My priority was helping him.
Is there anything I can do about this now? I hate the awkwardness.