regarding tutor forms in secondary school

[Bumblelion]

My son is due to start secondary school in September - got his/mine first choice which is great.

Had open evening last night where we bought the school uniform. Each tutor group has a different colour stripe in the tie so we found out the form my son is in and bought the relevant tie.

The parents had a meeting with the head teacher regarding induction day (Thursday) and the children's first day. The children went off with their form tutor do so some activities and get to know other children in their form.

At least 9 boys (I know of these 9 because they are good friends of my son) from my son's school are going to the same school and in the parents meeting, the head of year 7 said that he had tried to accommodate the friendship rings that each child had created to make sure that at least each child in each form had a friend/someone they knew from their junior school. My son also plays in a football league and a couple of the players that come from other schools are going to the same new high school.

After the meeting, my son came back to the hall and I could see he was a bit upset. When I asked him who he knew in his new form, he said no-one. Out of the other 9 children he was good friends with had been put with at least 2, if not 3, other children from the same school.

My son had not been put with anyone. Now he is a very sociable, outgoing boy and always makes friends easily (on holiday, etc.) but going to a new high school (which is about 3 times as large as his junior school) is a daunting prospect and I want him to be with at least one person he knows.

I know they always make new friends - my eldest DD proved this to me. She was put in the same class as her best friend from junior school, by Christmas had made 2 new 'best' friends and, now in year 10, the 3 of them are still 'best' friends.

I know he will make new friends and will possibly not be in so much contact with the good friends from his junior school but I think it would be nice for him to have someone from the same school in the same form.

I spoke to the school officer last night (bet they are thinking, okay this is one of those mothers who likes to interfere) and mentioned my concerns. The school officer said that 6 children in my son's new form had not turned up and mentioned these other boys names. None of them I recognised. I left my name and contact number and the school officer said not to take the 'tag' off his new school ties as they would see what she could do.

Do you think I am being unreasonble by asking my son to be put in a form with at least one child he knows from primary school?

Not unreasonable at all - he should have someone he knows, and as the school guarantees this, then they have simply made a mistake. Sounds like they are prepared to sort it out so you have done the right thing.
DD1 starts in Sept too and they were asked to write the names of four friends and were guaranteed to be put with one of those - she won't know until Sept which one though. Knowing now gives them a chance to sort it.

I don't think you are being unreasonable, I think starting high school is much harded than starting primary and its a big change.

DS attends a small village school (approx 70 children in whole school) and I would be gutted if when going to the very large high school not knowing anybody in his form group.

yanbu
but when ds started secondry he found the freinds from primary soon drifted away. I hope you get it sorted but if not don't panic too much. remeber all the yr 7's will be in the same boat.

yanbu, but ds was the only one from his primary to go to his secondary and he found it hard in the first term to make friends because the school had lumped together friendship groups, so inevitably those groups stuck together and excluded kids who knew no one.

I can't believe this - since I posted that message (thanks for your response), I have just had a phone call from the Head of Year 7 and he said that he is moving my son from 7M to 7E (different house, different tie). My son has a visit to the school (as do all the children in our area going to high school) on Thursday and he said I can change the school tie then.

He just asked for it not to be known among other boys in the school that I asked the question and he changed my son's tutor group at my asking - he said I should say it was the school's fault and they have rectified this now.

I feel so happy. I woke up at 4:30 this morning worrying about it (although did go back to sleep afterwards) but now I feel so much happier, as I am sure my son will.

Thanks for confirming I was not being unreasonable.

i am really pleased for your ds

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