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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be cross with my DH

33 replies

justageek · 01/07/2008 07:47

because he wants to get rid of our new dog?

We agreed last week that we were in a financial position to be able to have one, and that i am a SAHM so will have plenty of time to take it for walks with the girls, train it etc..He then phoned our landlady to check it was okay and she said yes.

So 4 days ago we got our dog, an 8 month old staffie/lab cross. She had a few accidents the first day but i pretty much had her housetrained by the third day something her fosterers hadnt achieved in 2 months. She is already really quie obediant, fantastic in the car, good with the kids, very affectionate, i honestly can hardly fault her.

But hubby seems to have been getting more and more uptight with her, and it resulted in a row last night, where i got it from him that in his mind he had pictured himself as the dogs 'master' being lovingly followed everywhere and adored. of course its me at home all day with her, doing her training, so its me that has got this honour. He is jealous quite frankly.

He thinks we should return her, as its not what he expected and also he flung in some reservations about not having so much freedom as we had pre dog (erm perhaps he should have thought of that before saying he wanted one?!) and i think he should grow up, stop being a wanker and appreciate what a lovely dog we do have.

A part of me feels resentful, so the dog adores me, whats wrong with that? our two daughters are TOTAL daddies girls, is it a crime for us to have an animal that might just prefer me?!

OP posts:

DiscoDizzy · 01/07/2008 07:50

What a tosser.... sorry

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 07:52

no please do carry on, he is MY tosser but is one none the less!

OP posts:

mindalina · 01/07/2008 07:55

Personally I fail to see how a dog could restrict your freedom any more than having two kids will already have done!

If you said straight out to him "It seems like you want to get rid of the dog because she likes me more", would the pettiness of it shame him into getting a grip?

DiscoDizzy · 01/07/2008 07:56

A dog is more restricting than kids, you can take them places you can't take a dog and some people don't like to leave them on their own too long in the house. Tell him to take his egotistical head out of his arse.

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 07:58

no i said pretty much those very words to him in my op, you just wanted a dog that would adore you and be your loyal subject didnt you and you cant stand the fact she prefers me because i feed her and do her training?! he just said yes.

So i said, so you want to rehome her then because of that, and he said yes. Then about ten mins later he said, of course i dont she is a lovely dog. Its just not what i expected.

neither was having babies for me, but i didnt have them adopted out....

OP posts:

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:01

yes thats what he said Discodizzy and she is VERY clingy at the moment, but this is due to the fact her previous owners kept her locked in a dining room with a muzzle on, so she cant stand being shut away anywhere or lose sight of us. I have been gradually introducing her to it with leaving her tied outside the local shop whilst i nip in for a few bits and she has been getting there, but last night we left her in the car for 15 mins whilst we picked up a few bits from morrisons and she had wee'd on my seat when we got back

it was MY seat and i didnt care, just stuck some newspaper down to sit on till i could get it cleaned up but DH was most unapproving. Poor dog, i actually feel sadly like maybe i should rehome her to a loving home where she will be wanted by ALL the family, instead of one where the DH doesnt actually like her

OP posts:

amethyst8 · 01/07/2008 08:21

Sounds like childish jealousy to me. My Dad was like this because the big Belgian Shepherd my parents got that was supposed to be "The Man's Dog" preferred my Mum to him.

YANBU to be pissed off. My friend had a boyfriend of 6 months who told her that she should get rid of the dog she had had for 8 years because he couldn't get on with it. She dumped him of course, not that I am saying you should do that this is obviously a different situation. This is sad, I feel for your poor dog and you of course as you sound attached already. However he did say he didn't want you to re home when you asked so just keep going I say, he will get attached eventually, everyone does if they fundamentally like dogs. Good luck.

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:24

i know he said that in the end amethyst but i also know he only said it to keep me happy, because he couldnt be bothered with yet another row. He loves dogs apparently. How you couldnt love her i dont know, i am very attached to her already, every night she hops up beside me and stretches out for a cuddle, she is my shadow, and i feel a lot of pride in that she is coming on so well with my training, she is my first dog i have owned, before that i was brought up with them only, so i feel achievment in her too.

I also hate the thought of her having any sort of bad life, because of her start in life already and cant bear to think of rehoming her because of that too. It simply wouldnt happen, i couldnt.

OP posts:

TheHedgeWitch · 01/07/2008 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:36

i did ask him that by text earlier honestly! He didnt reply, in fact he is on SILENT mode i think.

I know what he will be thinking, in his head it will be "bloody pregnant hormone crazed woman! so unreasonable! Best stay out of her way cant do anythign right...mumble mumble mumble!"

OP posts:

KnickersOnMaHead · 01/07/2008 08:39

Message withdrawn

TheHedgeWitch · 01/07/2008 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:44

KOMH she is a great dog, such a softie, how you are not meant to get attached to a puppy that climbs on your lap and buries her head in your shoulder before going to sleep i dont know! She is so trusting and sweet.

Hubby is such a neanderthal, shame you cant rehome men, without all the hassle that comes with it!

OP posts:

KnickersOnMaHead · 01/07/2008 08:55

Message withdrawn

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 09:02

she just had me in fits, she was lying on my bed dozing and i went in to see her. We were having a doggy tussle (namely her trying to bite my sleeve) and she just sort of gently slid off the bed onto the floor in a heap...the look on her face was priceless!

She knows she can be rough with me, but is so gentle with the girls, things like that you just dont get everyday in a dog, not without strict training.

Is it bad that i have only had her 4 days and i feel like i cold kick my DH out rather than her?!

OP posts:

KnickersOnMaHead · 01/07/2008 09:03

Message withdrawn

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 09:09

She is black and white, with golden flecks all over, if you click the link below you will see her, that was on her first night with us, after knowing us all of 20 mins!

pic

OP posts:

KnickersOnMaHead · 01/07/2008 09:12

Message withdrawn

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 09:17

she is gorgeous, every time i go out i get stopped by people fussing over her. The first night we had her, she was very much into my DH, and it did look like she was going to pick him as the authorative one (she wouldnt leave him all night, as you can see by the pic if she laid down she had to be touching his feet). I think that was the problem, he adored her at first because she did him but as she started to be more affectionate with me, he just got jealous. He pushed her off the bed so hard the other morning she fell on the edge of her bed and yelped, he swears he didnt mean to but i was NOT amused and he got a bit of a verbal lashing.

OP posts:

scorpio1 · 01/07/2008 09:19

what a gorgeous dog.... at your DH though.

ilovemydog · 01/07/2008 09:21

he wants th get rid of it because it hasn't been housetrained in 4 days?

Problem is, if your DH really doesn't want the dog, then it's going to be a big problem because dogs are hugely dependant.

We have 2 dogs and when we go away, we always bring the dogs with us. Can you imagine your DH being OK with this?

What you have to weigh up is whether it's fair to the dog in the long run.

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 09:24

ilovemydog, thats what i said earlier in the thread that its making me sad because its made me think maybe a i should rehome her, if he is not going to come round to her, for her sake, not for mine, i would be gutted. After the start she had in life, she deserves to have a home where she is adored by all in the household.

Its not because she isnt housetrained, she is, its because he is jealous that he is not number one to her, that i am certain.

Whereever we go she will come with us, we dont get to go away anyways, we only had our very first holiday this year after being together 5 years. I think he would be fine with it, he just needs to get past his silly jealousy.

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 01/07/2008 09:24

she's soo beautiful. Not a good lesson to teach your DD's though is it? Daddy doesn;t like the dog anymore so we're giving him away...

Kewcumber · 01/07/2008 09:25

and he doesn;t need to adore her - he just needs to put up with her. How do your DD's feel about her?

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 09:26

oh i am sure he would make up some other excuse for that kewcumber, and the point of this thread is that i DONT want to rehome her, that i think he is being an unreasonable prick to even suggest it.

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