Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

is it such a farking crime...

42 replies

justageek · 01/07/2008 07:01

to want ten minutes to actually wake up, make a coffee and drink it BEFORE allowing my two toddlers (aged 2 and 3) up and about? I also have a rabbit to put back in its cage and a puppy to let out before it pee's itself, but you would think i had committed the crime of the century telling my two to go back to bed 'until i say its okay to get up!' from the look of hubbies face!

I tell them it every morning, but every morning they come out their room whenever they want, even as early as 5.30 and i am expected to spring out of bed and immediately deal with the floods of 'i want, i want, i want' plus deal with the animals whilst hubby gets ready for work.

We have just rowed about it now, and i pointed out to him that he doesnt have to roll out of bed and start laying turf or cutting grass the second his feet touch the ground, so why should i have to start being a mum without any coffee and some foggy head clearing first!!!

is it that unreasonable? really?

OP posts:

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:42

ah KOMH (great username!) i feel for you. I would advise you but this seems to be some age old ritual or something. :D

OP posts:

KnickersOnMaHead · 01/07/2008 08:43

Message withdrawn

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:46

exactly, its stating the obvious. Thats what i tell him when we row and he says that to me:

DH: Oh i cant do anything right!

me: NO YOU BLEEDING CANT! and if you know it, why do you keep saying it! Just stop doing anything to annoy me!

dh: like breathing?

Me: that would be a start yes

OP posts:

Fanella · 01/07/2008 08:50

oh justageek I really don't know what else to say.

You'll have to tell him. Show him this thread!

If no joy then maybe you could accept the inevitable and just look forward to a time later in the day when you know you'll get to relax a bit (maybe nap time, tv time?)

Although you shouldn't have to.

Now, has the post arrived yet? Anything from Amazon?

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 08:54

fanella i have a problem with submission of any kind i can do compromise, but accepting the inevitable i am VERY poor at! I have had a good hour on here though this morning, amazingly, the girls have some new colouring set where the ink is invisable, but appears on special paper, that seems to be keeping them happy!

Its nice to have sympathy too always helps!

No my post hasnt arrived yet so i had to make do last night with a book i bought from the charity shop, i will post about it on the Blurb later today, it was really good :D

OP posts:

fruitstick · 01/07/2008 08:58

I find that the hardest thing about parenting. I have never been able to deal with people talking to me in the morning, let alone making demands. My husband has always claimed that he needs to 'ease into the day' which involves making himself 2 cups of coffee, having 2 cgarettes in the garden whilst he reads a magazine, then spending half an hour in the bathroom.

However progress has been made and now he often watches DS whilst he has his coffee so I can shower in peace, sometimes I ask him to get DS dressed and he can't think of a quick enough reason why not.

and this morning, after I had been up in the night with DS and have morning sickness, he got up with DS and brought me a cup of tea in bed!

I think he might finally be trained after all.

But seriously, just tell you husband to do it in a way that suggests you expect it, rather than ask him - then go in the bathroom with your coffee and lock the door!

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 09:00

LOl fruitstick i will bear that in mind!

I might try denying him any marital rights just for good measure, i only get coffee in bed when he is after something!

OP posts:

KnickersOnMaHead · 01/07/2008 09:02

Message withdrawn

fruitstick · 01/07/2008 09:06

Without wishing to lower the tone, I remember visiting a doctor years ago who told me that the incidence of women with bowel problems in later life was far far higher than men, and was entirely caused by not having time to go to the loo in the morning.

lizziemun · 01/07/2008 10:15

YANBU

I put dd1 (4.5yrs) in bed with daddy to watch some morning telly, dd2 (10mths) plays happily in her cot till i get her, and go and have my first cup of tea . This normally starts about 6.30am.

bozza · 01/07/2008 11:33

I think your children need to develop some better sleeping habits. And I think your DH should be helping them to do that. My children are not allowed to get up until a special light comes on at 7 am. Although my 7yo did come into me this morning complaining that his clock was reading 7am and his light hadn't come on because they are a few seconds out with each other. So I (already up and showered and juiced and dressed for work) just said "oh DS just go to the toilet". But I think maybe now he can tell the time he can ditch the light.

They both had lights on timers from age 2 when they went into proper beds. But yours need to learn that just because mummy or daddy gets up that does not mean it is time for them to get up.

FromGirders · 01/07/2008 11:41

When my littlies were 2 & 3, there was an unopenable gate on their bedroom door. Otherwise they'd come into our room and start fiddling with things, so I'd be roaring "don't touch that!" before I'd even woken up.
However I have a nice dh who gets dressed faster than me in the morning, so he gives them breakfast while I put my face on and hair up.
they don't have a gate any more, but are old enough to understand that if they wake before 7.30, they need to play qietly in their rooms until 7.30, otherwise mummy will be grumpy all day.

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 11:45

my children have slept 7-7 from around 6 weeks old, its since we moved house to the bungalow that this has become an issue, presumabley from the noises and also the realisation that they 'can' if you see what i mean. I even have black outs in their room, so i think it can only be the noises really.

the lights thing sounds like a good plan, i will look out for that i think!

I cant do the stair gate because my eldest needs to get out to go to the loo

OP posts:

TsarChasm · 01/07/2008 12:00

Yanbu and.... have you tried Cbeebies for such moments? (Runs off in disguise)

Original poster

justageek · 01/07/2008 12:49

i have but unless its lazy town they dont care!

ahem. did you hear something?!

OP posts:

bozza · 02/07/2008 09:27

So the good sleeping patterns on there somewhere . Am slightly extremely at the 6 weeks old bit. I would definitely give the light a go and big it up a bit maybe with stickers and all the works. I got the idea off Mumsnet in the first place and it has worked for me for the last five years although I do feel DS is getting a bit old. Otherwise invest in infant ear plugs?

edam · 02/07/2008 09:33

Invest in a bunny alarm clock so they can see when it's time to get up. Visual cues work better for small children than other stuff. I think you'll find them on the Jojo Maman Bebe website.

And kick dh into touch. He's still a daddy in the mornings just as much as he is in the evenings. Millions of parents throughout the country manage to get ready for work without ignoring their children. How does he think couples where both work outside the home manage? Or is your job 24 hours while his is only eight or nine?

Flip

1 2