To think people should be banned from taking someone with them to medical appointments unless they need assistance (and then just one person)

[CurdinHenry]

Sick of standing waiting for appointments while one girl sits on her arse with her five boon companions in the waiting room because people can't do anything by themselves.

Quite often with hubby both me and his dad accompany him for epilepsy appointments. One because they know the early history and I know the late history
Hubby has little memory, and it ensures particularly when looking at neurosurgery etc that we have thought of every eventuallity....
However I agree that more than 2 is unnecessary....

How do you know?

DD1 lives in a specialist centre, where the default staffing is 1:1 care, but residents can have 2:1, 3:1 or 4:1 staffing. If a specialist centre has assessed residents as needing that for challenging behaviour; and the funding LA or ICB accepts it and are paying for it (because nobody there is self funding at a minimum of £250,000 pa), who are you to say these people can go to A & E with 1:1 staffing? What is your expertise in this area?

It should be limited to one non patient per patient. If there's a whole squad of them turning up there then at least have them sit in the canteen or somewhere not directly associated with treating patients.

I was appalled to see around 30 people all crowding out the waiting area of the resus of a major trauma centre. Like it was a jolly day out. The men all going for a cig so doors opening and closing. All gossiping loudly and jovially, taking up every single seat available. And not even anywhere to stand. I asked the nurses and it was all for one person.

While several people were on the literal brink of death with horrific trauma injuries, having their lives saved behind a door. It's a life or death situation there, not some family fun day out?! None of these pals of one patient seemed remotely upset or concerned in the fashion one would expect. I don't care about that really but it struck me that maybe they don't even really know the patient that well?

just ask for a seat.

People are ridiculous, isn't someone allowed to need support just because they have kids? You wait until they are teens and in the meantime you struggle alone?

Because practically, what do you do? you don't leave the kids at home, so yes they are around. I bet most parents would love to NOT have the kids in hospital with them. And single parent? They just wait to go to A&E or hospital until the kids are grown up too?

Again, none of your business what support is needed or why. Ask for a chair, ask a nurse for a chair and it's a non issue

Yes I can definitely see situations where two people are useful.

When my grandad had dementia, my dad and siblings realised one of them should probably attend appointments because my grandad didn’t know what was happening, and my grandma had a tendency to give the Drs a rather positive rose tinted view of the situation with his health. Not maliciously, and my grandad would have been distressed to attend without her, but it needed someone else close to them to say “actually mum, I’m not sure that’s quite right. X symptom occurred when I was there yesterday” etc. to make sure the drs were getting accurate answers.

I think all situations are different. Although I would limit accompanying adults to one other person max, apart from exceptional cases. With children it's often necessary to bring the siblings if there's no one else available for them.

I'm like pp. I really don't want anyone sitting with me while either waiting for, or at a medical appointment. I'd feel like an incompetent needy person, but everyone has different needs, I realise that. I don't like feeling "minded" when I don't need it. If I did I would no question. I'm 70 and go to all my appointments by myself. I welcome being dropped off and collected if I am undergoing procedures which is mandatory anyway if getting sedated or anaesthesia.

Oh i have, in some communities its considered standard to take several family members. Eg sick auntie will be accompanied by her son & daughter, her brother & his wife, and her elderly mother..... especially in hospitals.

In some parts of the community GPs are regarded as lesser to hospital, and people will go to A&E for this reason. It be hard to dissuade people of this.

So? Were the mum & her friend wasting resources? I'm assuming it was the cafe/canteen that's open to the public would never be my first choice for lunch. Was the MRI for something serious & the woman needed support?

It is weird tho. I mean, hospitals are hardly the first choice for lunch as a general rule..

Ok. Never seen it.

@CurdinHenry since you said 'girl' the patient must be under 18. I'm aware of Gillick Competence btw, but perhaps this particular child wanted an adult to accompany her.

Dementia is a great example of why one person per patient won't suffice. Another reason is that with waiting times being what they are, the accompanying person is going to need the toilet at some point. Lots of people with dementia simply wouldn't be safe to be left while you go for a crap, it's the reality. My relative with dementia needed two of us at every appointment for this reason. They were also easier to manage and less likely to kick off when it wasnt a one person job, which believe me was best for everyone around them too.

So because someone brings in an excessive number, you'd ban normal situations?

1-2 is pretty normal and shouldn't require any explanations -] both parents, adult children, support&driver, support from two people, who cares.
Sometimes slightly more will make sense as well, with different family setups.

Yes, hoards are something different.

How can you describe needing an MRI as nothing serious? Whilst the outcome could confirm that its not serious, the uncertainty and fact that one is required, is in itself serious. You are aware of how distressing it can be if you are claustrophobic? And the need to keep calm, some people need some support with that.
Sometimes I get coffee and cake afterwards, Sometimes I need to cry in the carpark....now I'll be considering who may be judging me as ridiculous if I take moral support.

A sick or injured child with two parents needs them both there if possible, they might need each other as well, for emotional and practical support, even things like loo breaks. An elderly couple might need each other for emotional support plus an adult child who can take care of practical needs and make sure all information is retained. That adult child may or may not have childcare available. Hospitals are such a mess at the moment due to years of underfunding that people do realistically often need support, and as situations may also be traumatic or draining for family members, who have different relationships and skillsets, there’s not going to be an easy to apply rule.

I get the need for a support person or the necessity of bringing a child's siblings. These people that treat it like a family day out do exist and take up far too much space. In my experience these groups are more often than not intimidating people who people are understandably reluctant to ask for a seat from.

Two different points here

first- taking someone to attend in an appt is critical for some situations. They can listen and support.

second- I think OP is talking about brining entire families to sit in waiting room - which is crazy.

So no big groups in waiting rooms. Esp A&e.

one support companion in medical appt can be very helpful all round.

Gosh, how rude. Maybe they are from a different generation, different part of the country, read different things to you, had different life experience too you, from a different culture. No-one can possibly know every expression that has ever been used in the last 100 years in every part of the country through multiple generations.

do not concern yourself about the bored idiots who might "judge" you.
They will judge you for the colour of your shoes just the same.

Some people quite like to be martyr, and have to be very vocal about "not needing anyone". As opposed to merely independent people who just get on with it, and couldn't care less about the way other manage 😂

Some people live across the road from hospital, others have 1 hour (or lot worst) drive. Every situation is different, and frankly, only pathetic people can judge what they know nothing about. They're just lucky they don't experience any hardship themselves.

It was not for something that was serious.

A & E is the worst for this. I understand you need one person with you but when I was in there last year it was whole families who are taking up all the seats too!

Absolutely not. My daughter recently had to have a pelvic ultrasound. It was in our local hospital outpatients dept at 5pm on a Saturday. It was dark, no one was around and it was two men performing the ultrasound. Any woman would have felt vulnerable without anyone with them never mind a teenage girl.

I actually nearly complained about it. She may have had to have a vaginal ultrasound and there was no female staff member available to be a chaperone if she’d been alone.

I think one person is reasonable. In A&E you can be waiting hours and you need someone there in case you have to go to the toilet and they call you while you are in there.

I've found people OK about this - the last time I was there and it was busy was with a leg injury and as I limped in, a young man immediately offered me his seat, and my husband stood until it had thinned out. As long as people use common sense and 'companions' give up their seats for patients, I don't see a problem with being accompanied. I don't mean it should be treated as a family outing, but in some cases it's going to be unavoidable - a single parent with multiple DC might not be able to find anyone to look after them at shot notice.

YABU. Everyone should take one companion to medical appointments with them, as a witness, if nothing else. That aside, both parents being with a sick child should also be seen as normal. I agree that, in most circumstances, bringing more than that would be unnecessary. I also think that people who aren't actually sick shouldn't take up chairs in waiting areas like maternity or A&E.

No one says no accompanying family members.

Just only one, or maybe two at a push,