To think people should be banned from taking someone with them to medical appointments unless they need assistance (and then just one person)

[CurdinHenry]

Sick of standing waiting for appointments while one girl sits on her arse with her five boon companions in the waiting room because people can't do anything by themselves.

OK 5 is excessive I agree there but to ban someone else attending an appointment YABU.

I've attended cancer appointments with my mum, it can be difficult for the patient to absorb all the info especially when it's technical and they can also be in shock so don't ask questions at the time.

I've also spoken through choices with her in the consulting room when the Dr has laid something out but said its up to you.....its meant she was happy with understanding her options, the Dr was happy as she had made a choice on treatment routes and less time was wasted by everyone!

I'm not medical but sometimes an extra pair of ears actually really helps everyone in the room!

yes 4 hours wait in a&e is nothing. Last time I was there for 26 hours. You’ve reinforced my point - it’s unlikely the people accompanying the unwell friend/family member will be willing
to stand up for what could be much longer than 4 hours to give the seats to people who actually need it.

Nah it’s not unreasonable at all to say someone can’t bring 5 people along. It’s actually common sense especially if you consider the current state of A&E and the NHS resources under strain.

I mean what’s unreasonable and selfish is the large crowd of perfectly well people who are taking up the limited space.

Yes if it comes to it Hospital staff should tell them to move but the point I am making is it shouldn’t come to that.

These places are busy and stressful enough and people kick off for all sorts, so the staff shouldn’t be tasked with the additional responsibility of telling grown adults that maybe 4 of their 6 “support people” need to stand. Even if they are standing its still contributing to a crowded environment anyway with more germs flying around in an enclosed space full of unwell people .

They could maybe just use their common sense and not all be there and let one or maybe maximum two adults accompany the unwell person!

You can't have been in need of much medical attention yourself if you had so much time to assess and judge everyone else around you, maybe don't clog the A&E nex time? 😂

My 3 week old baby was incredibly poorly. It’s really not funny.

Chickenpox doesn’t require to be diagnosed by a doctor. It doesn’t even need medical attention. In fact, you shouldn’t be in A&E with chickenpox. It is highly contagious and poses a significant risk to babies, pregnant women and those with weakened immune systems. Because I was attending A&E with a newborn, I was informed there was someone who had come into the A&E with chickenpox. But they couldn’t tell her to leave until she had been triaged. Let me repeat, she was in A&E because she had chickenpox, not because she had any complications of having chickenpox. My son was too poorly for me to leave A&E, and the staff were not happy about it at all. A complete a waste of NHS resources.

Similarly, “sprains” don’t require an x-ray. Certainly not when the child is weight bearing with no issue, or using their hand/arm. It’s pretty obvious when a bone has been broken. Someone who takes their child to A&E for a “sprain” is simply wasting NHS resources and creating longer wait times for people who do need to be seen.

that's just neglect and would be lazy parenting if anyone did that in the real world.

In the real world, treating a sprain at home is actual NHS advice. And common sense.

The OP is absolutely spot on when she says that people can’t to anything by themselves, or for themselves.

Moral support ?

The doctor who did a biopsy on my temporal artery was shocked that I'd gone to the appointment on my own.

The only local friend who doesn't have caring or work commitments was "too depressed" to come with me, and I didn't really feel able to ask others to do a 50+ mile round trip for the purpose.

I must admit, I was pissed off with depressed friend, as I took her to no end of appointments when she had a cancer scare a couple of years earlier, and I was really low at the time as it wasn't long after my partner died.

I’m with you and your unpopular opinion, OP.
But then again I also dislike it when I see whole families at the supermarket. It’s a solo activity not an outing! We always had better things to do with ourselves than traipsed masse round a supermarket. Must be expensive too. Me or DH always went alone, without children pestering!

It’s not that unpopular here, only 57% think Op is BU.

If they had proposed a maximum of 1-2 adults should be allowed with each patient I would think even far less would be saying they’re BU!

Ah that sounds tough. I’m not surprised you were pissed off. I’d definitely be rethinking how I show up in that friendship from now on.

I hope you meet some local friends who believe in reciprocity. One sided friendships do sting after a while!

Last time I was in A&E (with my then 17 year old) it was rammed and there were a couple of announcements from the staff asking for people to leave unless they were the patient, the adult with a child patient, or supporting an adult patient, no more than one person with each waiting patient.

Why on earth anyone would wait in A&E unless they absolutely had to is beyond me but yes, there were some entire families or groups of 4 teens waiting with a mate.

No one needs more than one person with them and sometimes we don't need anyone with us at all. (Obviously excepting people with a disability who need more than 1:1 support).

I've been to all my own medical appointments on my own unless I've been explicitly told to bring someone with me (colcoscopy I'm looking at you).

I would say nearly 6 out of 10 people disagreeing with the OP means their opinion is unpopular. The majority disagree with them...

Are you coming back to the thread @CurdinHenry ?

I’ve had my mum come to appointments with me. Always been helpful to have someone else there in case I miss- misunderstand information.

And over 4 out of 10 agree.

It’s not a popular opinion sure but my point was I wouldn’t say it’s wildly unpopular ie. like some polls that have 8 or 9 out of 10 saying YABU.

I am tempted to run my own poll proposing a max of 2 adults be allowed and seeing what the poll says. I’d be willing to bet (a fiver 😆) most would vote YANBU.

Still, the majority think the OP is being unreasonable.

Fact.

And that's because she is.

If nearly 6 out of 10 were saying she is NOT being unreasonable, you'd be quick enough to say the majority AGREE with her.

.

I accept the majority say that. I really don’t know what you’re arguing about?

I am just saying a vote that gets 42% in favour is not wildly unpopular IMO.

To be clear - I didn’t say it was a popular opinion or that the majority voted for it.

I took our granddaughter to a&e in the summer. Next to us was a mother (patient) husband, 2 sons plus their wives and after a couple of hours waiting 2 of her friends showed up. Fortunately a nurse on duty was very firm in telling them that the seats were for patients first.
My granddaughter sat on my knee.

you are talking complete and utter nonsense.

Chickenpox doesn’t require to be diagnosed by a doctor.
you know nothing of their medical condition, medical history, if it was even chickenpox in the first place or why they might need urgent medical attention if it was.

In fact, you shouldn’t be in A&E with chickenpox Again, blame triage, not the patient. In none of my local A&E do you enter a waiting room before being assessed and triaged for!

Let me repeat, she was in A&E because she had chickenpox
so you are an A&E doctor yourself with all the test results are you? If you know so much? You must be an incredible one if you can make a full diagnosis by merely looking at someone!

“sprains” don’t require an x-ray.
you come back when you child is older 😉
I don't know a single parent who would look at their child coming back from training with a busted knee/ ankle/ wrist and just tell them to pop a paracetamol.
If medical staff can't make a diagnosis without an xray, neither can parents and surely you can't. Sometimes, it's a break. They need medical attention, the job is the parent is to bring them where they get it. I can wait a few days to decide if I have a sprain or worst, I am not waiting for my kids.

And you will love that one, but the first thing you are being asked when you see a doctor/ a nurse/ in a A&E or anywhere is: when did that happen/ start., how long has it been like this and you get a right telling off if you say you didn't bring them immediately 😂

Other parents have as much right to be there as you.

It definitely depends on the circumstances and you would think basic common sense would be involved in deciding how much support the patient needs.

When my dad was dying I was at the hospital with my mum and sister and we needed to wait in the waiting room at times.
I think that all of us being there to say goodbye was completely valid and we didn’t sit on the seats if someone clearly needed them.

On the other hand, someone I was friends with used to go to A&E with her husband, 3 kids, her mum and sometimes even her dad.
I used to ask her why she needed them all there but never got a real answer.
I’m childfree and she just used to say that I wasn’t a mother so didn’t understand 🤷🏼‍♀️.
We are no longer friends.

If I was queen of the world and made all rules then I’d put a 2 person restriction on people accompanying someone in hospital unless it was necessary.

I also had never heard of a “boon companion” and read one hell of a lot and have since I learned to read.
I read at least a book a week even now and have no social media except mumsnet.
It’s rare I come across a word or phrase I don’t know so it’s not just people who never read or just read social media that had to look up what it meant!

It's a very good idea.

Are you one of the people who turns up to medical appointments with your whole extended family?

I went through A&E last week with my DD, we were moved from A&E to emergency day care, there for a total of 14 ish hours. We were sent by the walk in, didn't need to be there, but unless you had x ray vision you wouldn't know. She did need antibiotics. The Nurse frequently asked to see wristbands and told people to stand. Luckily I and others got seat for enough of the time. I can see why people would bring two people, because it's chaotic and you can miss being called, as well as some parts not having easy access to a toilet/water and absolutely not being able to get a signal.

MRIs are not done for shits and giggles. They are also very claustrophobic.
Hospital cafes are for eating in.

It's one of those things that some people support until they think it through and cost it up.

It would cost a fortune to enforce, because you'll have to have caveats for all sorts of reasons:
If it's the end of someone's life, would you really exclude family from the waiting room meaning no final goodbye? No.
If a child is sick? No.
If one the person with POA needs a lift from someone else? No.
If more than one person has POA? No.
If the carer needs a translator? No.
Etc etc etc etc etc...

Policing that would take so much staff time and therefore cost a fortune.

Has anyone seen the price of hospital car parks these days?

If people come as a group, unless they drive a bus, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt because it cost them a fortune to be there 😂

I’m talking nonsense?

The girl had chickenpox. The staff told me. Her and her mother had to sit apart from everyone else in the waiting room. No one was happy about her being there.

I have never heard of anyone waiting on test results, or “being diagnosed” with chickenpox. My elder children have had chickenpox. It’s not commonplace to a consult a medical professional when your child has chickenpox. If this is what people are wasting the NHS’s time with, it’s no wonder waiting times are so bad.

I also have older sons, who play rugby. They have had many bumps and injuries. Again, it’s not commonplace to consult a medical professional for minor injuries. A break on the other hand is obvious, and the child certainly wouldn’t be walking into A&E with a broken ankle/foot. NHS advice it to treat at home, much like chickenpox. Again, if this is what people are wasting the NHS’s time with, it’s no wonder waiting times are so bad.

And you will love that one, but the first thing you are being asked when you see a doctor/ a nurse/ in a A&E or anywhere is: when did that happen/ start., how long has it been like this and you get a right telling off if you say you didn't bring them immediately 😂

Yeah, I’m sure the very over stretched NHS are telling people off for wasting NHS time and resources with injuries and conditions that could and should be treated at home 🙄

Other parents have as much right to be there as you.

As much right, sure, but given NHS data gives a figure of roughly 30% - 50% of attendees at accident and emergency presenting with minor injuries (for example, sprains) and conditions which could safely and effectively be treated at home or via pharmacies, GPs or Minor Injuries, it’s not unreasonable to expect people to apply a bit of common sense before dragging their entire family up to sit in an A&E waiting room for 6 hours, unnecessarily.

Our does. I ring up the Learning Disabilities nurse and ask her to come down to A & E. I tell her me or DH cannot cope with DD1 on our own. (The same hospital incidentally tells us, they don’t have the expertise to look after DD1 overnight, because her medical condition is beyond them). The Learning Disabilities nurse tells the A & E staff to let me and DH in with DD1, as reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act.

If I were to go to the toilet, while waiting 8 - 12 hours with DD1 in A & E, she wouldn’t stay where she was, if I told her to, because her memory is so poor, she can’t remember what I said after 30 seconds. She’d wander off anywhere or with anyone. She is just like someone with dementia - no short term memory at all. She could easily be abducted, because she’s a pretty girl!

If you don’t understand the law, why give your opinion on it?

The girl had chickenpox. The staff told me.

and that she had not other issue? the staff gave you the full medical information about another patient? Of course they did 😂

What hospital is THAT!

NHS data gives a figure of roughly 30% - 50% of attendees at accident and emergency presenting with minor injuries (for example, sprains) and conditions which could safely and effectively be treated at home or via pharmacies
great
but unless it has been established that it IS a minor injury, then responsible parents will keep having their child checked, but thank you.

Yeah, I’m sure the very over stretched NHS are telling people off for wasting NHS time and resources with injuries and conditions that could and should be treated at home 🙄
they do. And unless you are a medically trained professional, you have no idea what could or couldn't be treated at home, Dr Google.

You are funny but you are making things are you go 😂