Morning All,
I'm going to make this factual because no one is helping us and I would really like some advice.
I have three step kids- 19, 16 and 12.
.16 Year old is a school avoider. He moved in with us for 6 months where we paid for a private tutor and booked in private candidate GCSEs this summer gone. He missed his little sister too much (the 12 year old) so he went to live back at his mums and she refused to let us take him to them, convinced him that she would re sort them out for this year and said he doesn't need them (he hates school so he was thrilled by this. I had him registered to home school in my Borough and when he moved back I let the new council know- he has now done no school work since he left and is spending his days on Youtube.
. 19 year old finally had enough of mum and has moved in with us- we got him into college and some therapy and he is on the road to getting sorted.
. 12 year old is allowed to stay up until 3am every day and doesn't go to school at all now- we get fines through all the time.
. Social services were called by the school and us, yet nothing is being done.
. Kids come round in raggedy clothes, we have to take them out shopping no exaggeration every weekend. Christmas gifts have been sold by the mum and pawned so we no longer let them take anything back. We had to raise a police complaint the other week as we got the 16 year old something on finance and she sold that to a pawn shop so we had to report her for theft and go and collect it back as it is our property.
. Husband pays £1300 a month to her for the two of them and then we give them money for food or send takeaways to the house because the mother has spent it on drugs for her boyfriend or bought him new things.
. She has lost her UC income for the oldest one when he moved in with us so went and got herself pregnant so she 'doesn't have to work'
. She has advised 16 year old to get his girlfriend pregnant so they can get a flat.
. The 12 year old had 6 months of not wanting to come over because the mother told her I had threatened to attack her! Like really convinced her of this.
The list goes on.
I am not bothered with how she chooses to live but it is having a detrimental effect on the children. They don't know how to behave whilst we are out despite us taking them out every weekend, their language is foul, we have to constantly tell them to remove hoods in shops and restaurants, their general knowledge is shocking where they haven't been at school. The school doesn't seem to do anything, social services and the police are happy the kids are ok because they have been to the house.
When we ask the kids why they haven't said anything they tell us she tells them they will be taken away.
I am so worried for their futures and where they are children obviously not being made to go to school and being allowed to sit on computers all day is a fantastic option for them. It got so bad when they were younger one of them developed an accent from the youtuber they were watching because it's all they did and it took us nearly a year to get them to speak properly.