AIBU to feel hurt my partner uninviting me and invited friends over without being upfront?

[Mil10]

My partner and I have been together for a year currently do not live together as I have a dog that does not like him. I’d like to make changes to living arrangements to make this happen but he does not seem keen to do this.
He is currently injured and cannot drive, I made plans to go to him this afternoon when leaving him on Monday. He seems to forget this by Thursday and then after being reminded asks if he can see his friends instead specifically naming 2 men. Now one of these men is dating a friend of mine who is currently not talking to me, because they feel I did not do enough during the recent loss of a pet. I was pretty certain the evening he planned would include her and it made me a little upset but he did not say it and a friend had been travelling for months (he saw him Thursday to go out to breakfast and Friday morning to play with man toys). Both men are off on holiday for 10 days from tomorrow which is another reason he wanted to see them (the other guy he raced with the previous Saturday and then spent the evening with).

It then transpires that he invites them all to his home for dinner. This I admit upset me as I assumed they would go to the home of the friend who isn’t speaking to me where I would not be welcome or maybe eating out. This feels like he chose her comfort over mine (and his own) and being his space that hurt my feelings. If I had visited for the afternoon as planned and been there for the meal, it would have given her a choice of whether to come or not. I had no choice.

I think he should have just been upfront with me and said, I want to see my friends, she’ll likely want to be involved how do we play this? AIBU??

Sounds like a class of adolescent school kids. One isnt talking to you because you werent suitably supportive when their pet died. Your dog doesnt like your boyfriend 😆
I'm with the dog. BF sounds a bit of a twonk. Bin them all off and find some better friends. Preferably the who like dogs

Your dog doesn't like him, that says it all. They can sniff out the bad ones.

I would be really, really hurt by this. It's not on for him to have lied to you about who would be present and not have involved you like you were on the same team. It's very disloyal

This. 100%.

Good point, that's a kind of ridiculous reason

Well, aside from anything else, how is life together going to work if your dog hates him? Unless you never plan to live together (or him come to yours) or your dog is elderly, it sounds like a mess, though I suppose if your dog hates everyone there's not much to be done.

But yes, I'd be hurt by that and would make my feelings known.

He's shown you where you fit in his list of priorities. How does that sit with you?

“Arf arf”

Is he a colonialist black Labrador who likes country pubs?

1. He's not prepared to put in the effort to befriend your dog
2. He prioritises someone who has fallen out with you for a ridiculous reason
3. He reneges on an agreed date - and appear to have form for doing so
4. He can't bear to let his friends go away for 10 days without seeing them first.

All seems like way too much hard work to me.

German Shepherd. Dramatic little dictator.

Do you want to be reliving your teenage years?

I think at that point you walk away, don't you?

Your dog doesn’t like him
he doesn’t want to live with you anyway
he’s lied
plays with man toys
is having a boys holiday…….

move on

OP, a dog that doesn't like anyone isn't going to work in any relationship. Do you have a plan to fix this?

Were you expecting him to not speak to the so called friend who isn't speaking to you? I think expecting that just limits your social
life.

If someone isn't speaking to me, I would not consider them a friend. Who has time for all that?

BF wanted to hang out with his mates and not you. You were not invited. Not sure I'd be reconsidering my living situation if this was the case. It would be different if he had invited you too.

Do you find yourself in these kind of complex social situations often, OP? If so, I wonder what you could do to fix that? It sounds exhausting. Hope you find a solution.

You have found yourself a nasty mix of arseholes and you need a good clear out of boyfriends - he’s not a partner if you don’t even live together and he behaves like this!!! - and “friends”

And how are you supposed to have a relationship when your dog won't allow it?

Two things. First, is he the only person your dog doesn't like? I'd say, trust your dog. Second, you are not as important to your partner as you had hoped you were. I am sorry to point this out and I wish you well.