To wonder if we sound normal enough routine wise

[sugarlumpwasarockinghorse]

My children are six next month and three. The older one is obviously in school and the younger one in preschool three days a week.
dc1 does beavers, swimming and basketball after school 3 nights a week then football & rugby weekends

the three year old doesn’t do after school activities but does ballet, swimming and a regular class on one of our days off. So we’re quite busy.

We get home from school and preschool just before 4, they usually play outside for a bit if the weather is OK or play with their toys inside. Dinner is at 5 and then I start their bath and bed routine at 6.

I was wondering about getting my older one some board games for Christmas and one response when I asked for recommendations was incredulity I hadn’t done them with the kids yet. I guess I’m just wondering if we sound normal! As I don’t actually know when I’d fit them in just at the moment!

We do 😕 our child is 5 and we’ve done that since he was maybe 3 and a half. It’s part of our evening routine.

I am probably not the best at sitting and doing things with them in that sense. One of the challenges is that they like and are interested in different things so the three of us doing something together can be difficult. We do plenty as in going to parks etc though.

Everyone is different and you do what comes naturally to you as a family. I cannot imagine cramming in the amount of activities that you do. Conversely, you find it hard to fine the time to sit together and play a board game but we don’t give it a second thought. We get at least 2 board games out a night most evenings after dinner and before our child has a bath. At other times we read and draw together or build lego.

It wouldn’t occur to me that these are things that need time carved out to fit them in. To me clubs and activities are the things that need you to consciously carve out time and plan and make effort. Crafts, lego, board games, baking etc, these things just happen as part of the rhythm of a relaxed home life.

I think you are being unreasonable obsessing over what one weird poster was saying. It was one amongst like a billion other posts.

Im very surprised that you don’t have board games. I think the amount of after school activities sounds a lot - my daughter just wanted to come home and play with her toys after school for the first three years or so. I also think that starting to get ready at 6 for bed seems very early.

@Growlybear83 but would you honestly say to him he has to give one up, even if he doesn’t want to, because you feel it’s a lot? I am genuinely asking. Because he has to do the Thursday one, unless I give up work which I don’t plan to.

I'm not a fan of too many organised (adult directed) activities for children, especially for pre-school and early primary ages. At this stage, children need to have a considerable amount of time for free play IMO. I think the contemporary trend of so many classes for little ones is not entirely healthy, though people are encouraged to think that this is the way to be a good, involved parent. Of course, may people would disagree with my POV.

In terms of your routine, if you're happy with it, no need to worry. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, as they say. If you do want to make some tweaks, maybe experiment with timings. Dinner at 5:00 and bath/bed at 6:00 seem quite early to me. Pushing those things later could potentially give your children more opportunities for free, independent play.

We love board games, but a lot of people loathe them. I don't think they're an essential part of childhood, but they can be a lot of fun and can span age groups in a way that some other types of play cannot.

Yes, this last paragraph is what I was trying to get at.

"We don't have any Lego because it's just hard to fit in time to get it out" "we don't have any balls because it's hard to fit in time to play catch" - that is how "we have never played a board game because it is hard to fit it in" sounds to me!

@LucyBrownCow DS goes to bed at 8, but his sister at 7 (she is 3) so that’s why I have to start the bath routine then.

I do know it’s possible to do too much in terms of organised activities but he really gets a lot of enjoyment and self esteem from them. He is very good at rugby and has won awards, and he likes football too although he sometimes plays his own version of the game!

I suppose it’s different in my eyes because if you’re getting out a board game you’re playing it for its duration, from my memory anyway, so you do have to carve some time for it even if only twenty minutes or so. I’ve always assumed DD is too young but she’s three now which is why I was thinking now might be a good time to consider playing a game or two.

Sounds normal and healthy. I guess board games are good, we play them a bit but there are 100s of things to do with kids and I imagine most mums don't manage to do all of them. My crime of having not got round to teaching my almost 5 year old to cycle a bike is much worse than your no board game crime. You're giving your kids a great life, don't stress.

Well not necessarily - if you don't enjoy it, you can stop or pause.

But many games for this age group are really fast. There are plenty of the Orchard Games ones which are in the 5-10 mins spot so it's not an enormous time commitment to get it out. Any more so really than reading a book to your child where also you are effectively committing for the duration too

You seem to be viewing board games as another activity to fit in somewhere. They’re not! They’re just a nice way to spend 10 mins having fun with your kids if you and they fancy it.

I agree with this. I think some parents get into a mindset where everything is organised and every thing they do is “An Activity”.

We just live our lives and do nice things together. I much prefer that to enrolling in all the taekwondo and gymnastics and squirrels and whatever on earth else is going.

I am probably definitely thinking of the monopoly sessions I had as a child which did seem to take hours 😅

Other than a fishing game, hungry hippos and pop up pirate, my GC had no interest. Snap and the orchard shopping games caused murder. One GC would prefer to sketch, the other make stuff.

Agree. While two or three scheduled activities a week are nice to do, having time just to mess around and chat or play with your family without having to rush off anywhere is hugely valuable. Kids need the space to make their own decisions about how to spend their time.

So you would actually remove him from those activities against his wishes @titchy ? I’m genuinely interested in the answer to this as a few have indicated that it is wrong he’s doing these activities but haven’t actually confirmed they would remove their happy child.

Well I wouldn’t have enrolled him on so many in the first place! FWIW at that age my ds did swimming, Beavers and one after school club. Nothing at the weekend.

I probably wouldn’t remove now, but think about alternating each week. Are they all year round?

@titchy to be honest it isn’t vastly different. Three after school and then two at weekends but they are 9-10; leaves the whole weekend free. So I’m not sure he’s on the whirlwind you think he’s on, TBH.

I'd remove a child from an activity if it wasn't working either for the child or the wider family. Ideally I'd do it in a natural break - like the end of a block of sessions/term. It doesn't mean they can't pop back into it again later.
As they get older you'll naturally cycle in and out of different activities depending on what's good at which age and what works best.

It doesn't seem from what you are saying like this is the case for you though. If your child loves them and it's not too expensive or stressful to manage as parents and its not impacting on other things you want to do as a family or you aren't getting enough time for your own activities then there's no need to change anything!

If you have the whole weekend free then surely a big chunk of that is available for sitting around playing a game or chatting or building Lego or painting or….

Is it that you just don’t like board games?!

@titchy sure but on the thread I referred to it seemed to be a nightly thing or at least several times a week. I have conceded a few times my forte is not sitting and crafting / playing / building - sorry if I’m reading it wrong but there’s no need for snark.

Like a PP, I wouldn't have enrolled a child of this age in so many activities in the first place. In your shoes, I wouldn't remove him instantly. I'd continue until the term ended or some other natural stopping point was reached. Then I'd limit organised activities to one or two per week for each child.

But as I wrote above, I'm not a fan of too many structured activities for young children. If you disagree with that view and think that your son is getting enough free, unstructured time in addition to activities (and you haven't noticed any issues with behaviour, etc.), you would probably make a different decision to me.

I think it's weird they go to bed so early!
Schedule is absolutely fine, but starting bedtime at 6? That would stress me out more than anything.

Board game wise, it's unusual they didn't get any as a present because that's an easy option from family members usually, but they're not mandatory.

We have plenty of board games and no one every uses them. I can't think of anything worst than being stuck at home playing boardgames and my kids have never been interested.

They have loads in case they want to play with friends, sometimes they do on sleepovers (they are older than yours obviously)