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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to teach my child to swim?

38 replies

thebecster · 30/06/2008 12:23

I'm certain that I'm not BU but....

DS has just turned 2, has been going to swimming lessons - the songs and splash around kind - since he was 6 months, and we take him swimming at least 3 times a week. He loves the water. I was at the pool with him & he was swimming lengths using a noodle, practising jumping in and pushing off from the side with my help. A few nice people came up & said how good DS is in the water. I noticed one old lady kept looking at us and assumed she was thinking the same thing. Until she got out of the pool, and on the steps she turned around and said 'He is far too young to be in the swimming pool. Some mothers are so irresponsible." and then stalked off to the changing room, while I was standing there with my mouth hanging open.

Then I was watching BBC Breakfast news earlier this week and they had a report on the national news about a 2.5 yo that can swim (doggy paddle). Bill & Sian introduced it as 'a look at a future champion'. Now I'm sorry Bill & Sian, but all four of my Aussie nieces & nephews could swim (proper freestyle) by 2.5, and they're not remotely sporty (although they do have a backyard pool, which always helps!). If it makes the national news when a British kid manages to achieve the average performance of an Australian kid, then no wonder they trounce us at every Olympics! Baaaah!

So c'mon then - AIBU to be irritated at this landlubber attitude? Especially when being able to swim is a potentially lifesaving skill?

OP posts:
MamaG · 30/06/2008 12:25

oh don't be ridiculous, as if anybody is going to shriek "yes yabu"

you know you'r enot

cornsilk · 30/06/2008 12:26

Er no.

fircone · 30/06/2008 12:26

Don't worry - it was just a miserable old bat. Was she doing stately WIDTHS of the pool (when everyone else is doing lengths), doing breaststroke wearing one of those bathing hats with the false hair or fruit on it?

Original poster
thebecster · 30/06/2008 12:29

LOL fircone - she was definitely of that type! Her hair was not remotely wet as she exited the pool.

AIBU that the BBC Breakfast article was also bollocks? I mean is it really national news that a 2.5 yo can doggy paddle? Are us Brits really that mediocre?

OP posts:
lljkk · 30/06/2008 12:30

Maybe the old lady thought that you intended in near future to leave him on his own (unsupervised). If she had personal experience of a child drowning she could be over-sensitive about it. Her problem, obviously, I do think YABU to be at all bothered by her comment.

Brangelina · 30/06/2008 12:32

Nothing wrong with a small child in a pool. The tineer the better (apart from the chlorine aspect) and imo it's still instinctive and tey're elss likey to be afraid.

I learnt to "swim" (i.e. keep afloat by myself) at around 6mo, at 2 I could do breaststroke lengths. Most other children of my age could do the same. I have to say we lived abroad in a hot country at the time and practically lived in the swimming club, so that would have helped.

I remember being shocked when arriving in the UK aged 9 that I was the only one in the class that could actually do lengths, most of my classmates still had to do their 10m. Mind you, that was the 70s, I thought the attitude had improved lately and that most people now sent their kids to lessons?

I have to admit I haven't taken DD to the pool recently and she had developed a strange fear of water after falling over on the beach the other week. I really should get my act together.

thumbwitch · 30/06/2008 12:32

what a miserable old cow - perhaps she was worried that he would get in her way.

Of course YANBU - all children should learn to swim as soon as they can as it IS an important lifesaving skill - I started DS at babyswimming at the age of 4months and he loves it, but tbh even if he hadn't enjoyed it I would have persisted with it as, when we finally do move to Australia, his grandma's house is on the edge of a lake, so his being able to swim will be important both for his enjoyment and his safety.

blueshoes · 30/06/2008 12:33

bec, I think she might have meant that children who look too young to be toilet trained should not share the water with other people.

I personally think that is bollocks and there are lots of babies in my swimming pool. But some people get freaked out by poo, wonder why?

Well done, your ds BTW. Definitely encourage him.

cornsilk · 30/06/2008 12:34

Oh yes I had old ladies worrying about poo the first time I took ds swimming.

Original poster
thebecster · 30/06/2008 12:36

Brangelina, I assumed that the attitude had improved too, that's why these two things this week made me think... I moved to Australia 10 yrs ago (am back in UK now) and was really shocked when my nephew (then 6) said 'How come you never learned to swim Auntie thebecscter?". So I had swimming lessons in Australia - my coach put me in the 'can't swim at all' group because my school lessons in Britain were clearly so useless. By British standards I could swim, but after a year in Australia I was in a different league (ie I was average for an Aussie!) After the old lady's comment and the item on the news I mentioned to a few RL friends and NONE of their kids can swim properly - varying ages.

OP posts:
Original poster
thebecster · 30/06/2008 12:38

Oh, blueshoes, I never thought of that. Maybe she didn't know that they have swim nappies these days. Maybe she doesn't realise she's at far more risk from some bloke peeing in the pool than from my fully-sealed DS! Well, that would be reassuring, better than her thinking he shouldn't actually be swimming!

OP posts:
Brangelina · 30/06/2008 12:44

Lol at the "how come you never learned to swim?" My cousin spent loads on lessons before going to live in Singapore a couple of years ago and her Aussie neighbour's 8yo asked her why she swam so badly, apparently she swam like a spider. Poor thing was so .

Original poster
thebecster · 30/06/2008 13:02

LOL I know just how she felt! I remember standing in my sister's pool with her kids & their friend zipping around me like a bunch of penguins and thinking 'But I've got my Bronze lifesavers badge - I thought that meant I was a good swimmer???'

So I thought I wasn't being unreasonable I was just wondering if I was the one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind...

I just see so many parents taking kids swimming with armbands & flotation vests (gahhh!), and then hear all my RL friends say their kids don't swim at all 'Won't they learn at school?', then BBC has a 'stop the press! A child learns to swim before the age of 10! Finally we'll have an Olympic champion!' Derrr, no. Finally we have achieved mediocrity. Again. Hence my AIBU.

OP posts:
Brangelina · 30/06/2008 13:09

I don't do armbands either as had always been against them, but I've more recently wondered if I should as all the other kids seem to have them. I've just been swirling DD round and getting her to swim on my back or pulling her towards me and trying to get her to move her legs. When she was younger I was more for promoting confidence in the water, which she had loads of until she decided to jump in the big pool by herself. Now she's 3 though I'd like to get her moving in the water - do you have any tips you could pass on?

krang · 30/06/2008 13:15

silly old cow.

my DS has been going to swimming lessons since he was four months old, he loves it. don't give a toss about sporting prowess, just want him to be safe in the water. He's two and a half now and taking him on holiday next week with a place with a pool is going to be so much fun.

(BTW Brangelina the swimming course I do doesn't use any flotation aids apart from floats occasionally. Teacher says this is because with floats they have to be the right position in the water, armbands don't encourage them to be in that 'flat' position and can interfere with them moving their arms. Why not get a float or a little body board - they are great fun. She can lie on one and kick her legs and move by herself which is really confidence boosting.)

krang · 30/06/2008 13:18

And a woggle thing. Long foamy thing. They go under the armpits and let the child kick or paddle. Do you know what I mean? You can get them from Toys R Us.

Heffagooday · 30/06/2008 13:19

YANBU!

Out of interest - at what age can you take babies swimming? I'd love to get my LO used to the water as soon as possible but I wasn't sure when it was OK.

thumbwitch · 30/06/2008 13:19

i agree with krang - i was a late swimmer and i found armbands almost disablng as they support thewrong bit of you! Fine for paddling and not drowning, but rubbish for learning to swim.

Original poster
thebecster · 30/06/2008 13:20

Brangelina - this link seems quite good to me and has all the things which I practise with DS, and a few that we don't do yet. Don't succumb to the armbands! All decent swim coaches loathe them with a passion. They'll stop her progress and give her the dreaded 'British Spider Stroke' .

If she's scared of going under again try doing "Ring a ring a roses - we all fall down", with both of you going under on 'down'. It is a good one if she's lost confidence - the first 200 times you do it, she might only dip her chin, but if she sees you go under each time she'll gradually get up nerve to dip her mouth, then a little more each time. Once she's been under again she'll get her confidence back, it just has to be slow, and she has to be the one who chooses to go under - definitely take her swimming a lot so that the fear doesn't have time to build.

I remember falling in the deep end when I was 3 - it was very scarey. But I also remember the moment when I realised I wasn't scared any more - when I was about 4 or so, and I felt so happy & grown-up to have conquered it!

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 30/06/2008 13:21

Heffagooday - try babyswimming website - I think they take babies fromm 3mo

Heffagooday · 30/06/2008 13:22

Thanks Thumbwitch!

Original poster
thebecster · 30/06/2008 13:28

Heffagooday - we took DS to swimming pool at 6 weeks. But we also filled up the bath (ie a deep big bath rather than baby bath) every night from the day he was born & encouraged him to kick his legs and splash his hands. He didn't like it so much at the beginning. I think it reminded him of being born - he was a water birth, and although it was an easy birth for me, I think he was a bit bemused by it all and in the first few weeks he hated being in the water. But he started to enjoy kicking his legs in the water & splashing around after a few weeks. Swimming lessons are great - partly because they make you go because you've already paid for them and partly because it gives you something to practise during the week.

OP posts:
Barnical · 30/06/2008 13:32

YANBU she was a silly grumpy old cow.
All 3 of mine have swam from an early age.. having taught them myself!

2 older ones went on to lessons to improve their strokes and whizz through the badges!

Both the older ones have swam on their schol teams. It keeps them fit.. it's good fun and i say start them young ( mine were about 6 months when I dunked them in the pool).
All I have to do now is teach my mum! ( dad taught me LOL).

HensMum · 30/06/2008 13:39

YANBU.
I've been taking my 8.5 month old swimming since he was 12 weeks. My SIL is a swimming teacher so she took us first of all.
I'm not aiming for a future Olympic champion, I just want him to be safe and comfortable in the water and it's a nice thing for us to do together. I'm not in the least sporty but my mum insisted on swimming lessons for us as kids, so I am a confident swimmer now and want the same for him. He splashes his arms and legs around now and thoroughly enjoys himself. He doesn't mind getting his face wet and I dunk him at least once a session.

Kewcumber · 30/06/2008 13:45

of course YANBU but it is a little unfair to compare Aus with the UK - Its bloody freezing here most of the time so even those children who do get taken to the pool go once a week (like my DS) at the weeknd.

When I grew up in Africa everyone learnt to swin by about 3 because we were in the pool every day for hours.

When we got back to the UK (aged about 7) my first swimming lesson was interesting...
"who can swim a width of the pool?"
KC and about 2 other hands go up
"OK off you go then so I can see how you do.

Other few set of in a kind of doggy paddle whilst I did my best crawl head in the water breathing every other stroke. Reached the end feeling happy that I'd done a creditable job... to be told off for putting my head in the water

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