AIBU to give up cooking next Monday?

[NeverFlyCoach]

I don’t have it in me to cook anymore.

I used to love cooking and did a cooking adjacent profession for a few years, but after almost 2 decades of being a short order cook for my family, I’ve had enough.

I’m sick of meal planning and navigating what people want to eat and cleaning up and going shopping and I think I’m just going to quit when my DD goes to uni.

I’ve located a local meal prep service for dinners and will fill the rest of the space with soup, salad and porridge. Maybe toast. Or a pita bread with hummus.

I’ve been told this is an extreme reaction, but it sounds absolutely fucking blissful.

I’d go one step further and tell DH he can sort himself out going forwards and you will just manage your own food. You want a rest. He can buy and prepare whatever he wants. Otherwise in some ways you are still ‘managing’ it. It might be nice to agree to eat at the same time each evening if you are used to eating together but don’t need to eat the same thing. For other reasons I stopped cooking family meals and just did my own (all adult household). Of course no one stepped into the breach, no organisation between them and I often hear moans that there is nothing to eat and they are too tired to cook. Tough!

Honestly there are so many shortcuts these days between full on cooking and not cooking.
Microwave rice - godsend!
Ready grated cheese - whip up a cheese sauce without much faff.
Ready chopped greens etc - for stir frys and soups.
Large packs of spinach can be microwaved in the bag without washing and then they just slither out, divide for 2 people, chop a bit and stick a piece of grilled salmon on top with a bit of mango chutney - really delish and healthy.
Frozen chopped butternut squash - chuck in anything.
Spanish tortillas in a packet - add cheese and maybe onion and peppers and pop in the oven.
I still 'cook' every day but if I'm feeling fed up I can put together a 'home cooked' meal in twenty minutes - sometimes less. 😂

I do all the cooking, my DP isn't very good at cooking and i dont fancy food poisoning, DS is only 5 so it's my job eveeerryyyyy daaaaay 🫠 I hate thinking of what to cook each night its draining. I don't give anyone a choice of meals though so they do have to eat what I cook or go hungry as I'm not making separate meals

I've just started getting my 5 year old to start helping in the kitchen with hopes that as he gets older he can start cooking me dinner 🤞

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You might find that cooking once or twice a week becomes more enjoyable if you aren’t making yourself do it every day.

This week, while you are doing a final round of the favourites, make a double batch of any that freeze - so you have a lovely ragu for pasta in about a month, and a comforting chicken chasseur in 6 weeks with your jacket potato, and a favourite curry on a rainy early November evening…etc.

And then enjoy a while of no cooking - but notice for yourself what meals you (and DH) would have enjoyed eating so what handful could you don on occasion - but also doing a batch to serve 4 or 6 people and freeze the spare in either 1 person or 1 meal portions (1 person is handy for nights when you are solo, or nights when an unexpected extra arrives and needs to be added).

It’s the lack of planning I now find liberating more than the no cooking for others. My older DC sets up an online shop once a week and he and his brother add all the stuff they need for their meals. If they don’t add breakfast stuff then it’s on them. They know that anything in the salad drawer that’s not salad is for me and they leave it alone. I’ve saved myself hours a week, it’s so good after a long day out knowing I’m just making making myself cheese and biscuits etc.

If you're that level of cook from scratch, I'd probably try dialling it down first rather than completely stopping. Find a middle ground. But yanbu to give it a try if you feel really fed up.

I think after 30/40 or so years of doing it then it’s more about the headspace and being the person that makes the 20 minute meal.

the day my last kid left for uni more than a decade ago I never cooked another meal. My oven and hob don’t work and I don’t care, salad/picky bits/the odd slow cooker dhal and I’m fine.

just couldn’t care less about cooking any more. For Christmas I had cheese and biscuits.

Love this!!!

Go for it. Cook as and when you want, for pleasure. Personally I would probably still do 2-3 evening meals just for the connection and enjoyment but otherwise DH will be on his own.

He's going to find it a massive adjustment

I stopped as soon as my kids were around year 8/9. Never cooked for DH anyway. We do it together on big family get togethers.

Hate this idea that females are always the default cook and bottlewasher and became more resentful as the years went by.

It was no big deal. Kids moaned sometimes if they were hungry and couldn’t be bothered but I told them to complain to the other functioning adult in the house.

I’m also done with cooking. Tonight I’ve done a few vegetables and heated up some Morrisons quiche, a lot of the time we now have eggs, baked potato, chicken and pitta bread, just something easy and quick. Decades of making tea and it’s just the two of us now and DH works shifts so doesn’t want big meals when he gets home or is going onto a night shift. We sometimes just have cereal. But we both feel the same so I don’t feel like I have to bother as much now the kids have left.

I'm not far off this except I've never been one to cook, or very occasionally anyways. I hate it. I can cook just don't like doing it. I'm very lucky though as my husband loves cooking and our eldest also does a fair bit too. If it was just me on my own I'd certainly be living off the basics and a few take aways no doubt 😂

I love cooking just for myself.
When everyone else was away, I'd have lobster, fillet steak, etc.
Always hide the evidence of course.
Now it's just DH & I , there's rarely the chance to do that as he WFH !

I’ve done the same. I get 5 meals a week from Frive for weekday dinners after work and the rest of the time it’s beans on toast or a cheese salad and chips or something. It’s amazing.

Why can’t you eat what you want if your husband is there?

Gousto! Takes the effort of planning away

A massive benefit as well is the reduction in dishes and cleaning the kitchen.
So much less labour.

I totally feel you and I am only 31 with two kids under 5. I’m so sick of the planning, the food shop, the cooking, making sure to give the kids a varied diet etc. thinking of things everyone will at least eat a variation of or sometimes cooking two meals, one for the kids and then another one for me and my DH. I’ve started getting Gousto and Hello fresh deliveries which to be honest are a life saver as I don’t have to fart around purchasing all the ingredients, planning the meals etc and we get to try new meals that I wouldn’t usually cook.
No point in me moaning though as I’ve years of it to come yet!

Go for it. Its the best feeling and surprisingly frees you up to either just relax or get on with other things without having to think about dinner.
I always have at least one day week where everyone pretty much fends for themselves. I do try to make sure there's something edible in the house for them to use to however the wish.

I used to do this until exh had a breakdown. One of the things he used to do was just buy loads of ready meals and harangue the kids into eating them. It was horrendous, we had no space in the fridge or freezer and it really was awful for me and the kids that he would have this obsession with food. He'd tell everyone there was no food in the house despite me having planned out all the meals for the week, bought ingredients and cooked-and having done it since we had DC. When he was under the MH team it turned out that he could not work out how ingredients could be made into food. He had become completely infantalised and I felt I had enabled it by doing all the bloody cooking. He was 28 when we got married. He'd lived on his own for years and was a perfectly functioning cook when we met.His therapy involved him completely taking over all the planning, buying and cooking. Now we are separated he cooks for himself. I've told my son's to never allow themselves to ever be deskilled to that extent, and not just allow someone to adult for you just out of sheer laziness. Their dad just sat back and allowed me to do everything and it came back to bite him on the bum.

YANBU at all

There's a lot of "women's work" going on in this thread. It's 2026 folks.. no wonder you're all so sick of cooking if you've been catering away like 50s housewives while working full time! Husbands, older kids and young adults can sort dinner too you know!

Doing the cooking is a job that I took on willingly. It just dawned on me that I don’t have to do it anymore. With no small person to try and get a balanced diet into, my skills are redundant. I’d be much happier with soup and a toasty and an hour of my evening back.