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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School WhatsApp wildness…

167 replies

Fruitbatdancer · Yesterday 23:36

I’ve lost the will to read the school WhatsApp already…
they don’t go back till tomorrow and there already been 30+ messages today.
everyone whinged about no update from school, update sent, then they all whinged about the update. The slagging off (of the actually very good I think) school and staff is wild.
one of the email updates today was on parent code of conduct and it specifically said parents will be banned from school premises if agressive and inappropriate behaviour on social media! Made me lol as then they all bitched about it! It’s the same 3/4 mums.every. Time.

30 messages in and someone just asked if they go back tomorrow 😂

please tell me most parents are also reading this shite thinking ‘how do these people function in their day to day lives’?!

id remove myself but then I’ll be ‘that mum’ 😂

OP posts:
JuliettaCaeser · Today 09:47

There’s also privacy issues. They are not little anymore and will be mortified and furious if mummy basically tells all their friends parents about their lost coat etc.

KittyCatPuss · Today 09:48

kirinm · Today 09:02

You can hate it all you like but kids party invites often come via the WhatsApp chat in the early days and that is where you’re likely to meet people you do get on with. If you’re happy for your child to miss out on that sort of thing - and they will - then leave the group. Alternatively mute it and check in occasionally.

How did anyone manage to send out party invitations and make school yard friends without WhatsApp? 🙄

BusyMum47 · Today 09:50

Volpini · Yesterday 23:38

I removed myself. I was that mum. Honestly, couldn’t care less and didn’t want that in my life.
best of luck! The best thing about secondary school is none of this!

Me too! Absolutely fuck that shit!! I kept right out if it all & was just in contact with a very small select group of actual mum friends who I liked!! We kept each other informed & sane & bonded over the twats!! 😆

SaturdayGiraffe · Today 09:52

I’ve muted on the basis that a third of the parents seem to think it’s everyone else’s job to answer all their questions, which have already been answered by the school emails.

Just. Read. The. Emails.

But no, that’s a waste of time when you can simply demand other working adults summarise all the key info and spoon feed it to you.

marbIehalls · Today 09:53

At this point, the annoyance is on you. Leave the damn group.

Why on earth would secondary school kids need a WhatsApp group anyway? I dont know of a single parent of a secondary school kid who is part of a WhatsApp group.

As for the "when does school start" nonsense- they all have term dates on their websites so I am a bit baffled why a grown adult is apparently unable to take out their smart phone, navigate to the school website and have a look at what it says? 😆

JoeTheDrummer · Today 09:53

I’m on a Senior school one - it started in Reception in the Prep school and then just grew as the years went on and more children joined the school. It’s pretty good though - it’s a supportive lovely bunch of parents (mainly mums, but there’s some dads too), and as the kids are older it’s become much less about the school and is now more of a local community group. So posts arranging nights out, coffees after drop-off, asking for electrician recommendations etc, Some peoples use it to ask if someone’s teens want to earn some money for pet-sitting over the holidays etc.

Those who don’t want to be part of it just leave!

lessglittermoremud · Today 09:55

On ours people just post helpful reminders like ‘forest school today’ or ‘bake sale tomorrow’
Yours sounds awful, I’d mute it and just check it once a week!

Tillow4ever · Today 09:59

As an FYI, when you leave a WhatsApp group, the ONLY person that sees it is the group creator. No notification cones up for anyone else, so no-one will know you’ve left essentially.

You can always wait for a busy burst of chat and leave during that. If the host does spot you left and asks you why, you can just say that you were struggling with the notifications at work so you’ll rejoin later in the school year when it shortens down… then don’t bother.

Volpini · Today 10:00

BusyMum47 · Today 09:50

Me too! Absolutely fuck that shit!! I kept right out if it all & was just in contact with a very small select group of actual mum friends who I liked!! We kept each other informed & sane & bonded over the twats!! 😆

I was on it for a bit but I was quite involved with school and knew how hard they worked/ considered some of them friends. I eventually felt compromised by seeing some of the posts and wanted no part in that.

MellowSubmarine · Today 10:05

please tell me most parents are also reading this shite thinking ‘how do these people function in their day to day lives?!’

Someone asked on our group earlier this week “I know it’s allowed in the uniform to wear them this term, but are other people sending their girls in in summer dresses? I can’t decide”

You’re (presumably!) a functioning adult! Look at the weather forecast, let your child pick, don’t waste my time with this question.

Lifeomars · Today 10:05

It sounds mad! Didn't have them in my day, just got notes from the school like the term dates which i pinned to the kitchen noticeboard the old fashioned way. However one of my friends has a five year old and she filled me in on some of the more off the wall messages on her school Whatsapp. The school had a change of uniform and the Whatsapp as you can imagine blew up and a huge row developed. My friend did not join in, she just read it for entertainment

kirinm · Today 10:06

KittyCatPuss · Today 09:48

How did anyone manage to send out party invitations and make school yard friends without WhatsApp? 🙄

🙄 we all know how people managed it - but that isn’t how it happens these days - if your kid is waiting for an invitation at reception or year 1 age, they won’t be getting one in most cases.

NerrSnerr · Today 10:07

Morepositivemum · Today 09:04

We rarely have it that bad but it’s a lifeline for me sometimes as I work so can’t be at the school gates always so sometimes miss the actually teacher changed her mind and said they’ll have that test Friday instead’ or ‘they’re allowed wear their pe gear in first thing this morning’ or the like. Saying that yes, about thirty messages yesterday but it was talking about how cute the youngest class are😉😂

There must be another way for the school to communicate this stuff though (like class Dojo or something). Loads of parents don’t make the school gate and the school shouldn’t (and probably don’t) rely on other parents to send messages out.

marbIehalls · Today 10:07

kirinm · Today 10:06

🙄 we all know how people managed it - but that isn’t how it happens these days - if your kid is waiting for an invitation at reception or year 1 age, they won’t be getting one in most cases.

But the OP is talking about a secondary School WhatsApp- not 5 year olds who rely on their parents to facilitate meet ups

EmeraldShamrock000 · Today 10:08

Mute the group. Archive it. Only use it when you need help with something.
They are a cesspit of negativity. Life is too short for that nonsense.

Fatiguedwithlife · Today 10:09

I’ll go against the grain and say I like being in them. Maybe ours are different to normal ones? There isn’t any bitching and most people seem to be relatively sensible. 🤷‍♀️

MellowSubmarine · Today 10:10

TescoFiasco · Today 09:07

They can be useful, but a too-high percentage of messages is from parents who haven't bothered to read the (actually very clear) emails from school.

Someone (not me, promise!) tersely pointed out that most of this info is in emails, and one woman has now taken it upon herself to "helpfully" upload PDFs of each letter onto the WhatsApp group. "School just sent out an email about xyz!" Yes I know, funnily enough I GOT IT TOO!

Oh yes we get endless complaints about how the school doesn’t communicate.

”They never told us this!!”
It was in the newsletter..

”why didn’t they remind us of this”
It was in the newsletter!!

”they could have mentioned it!”
It was in the sodding newsletter like all the rest of it you idiot

Iyamnotayam · Today 10:10

I got lucky with my the WhatsApp group at my daughter's old school. Someone would post the weekly news letter up for anyone who had been absent. Other than that the only thing that went in was class updates and events because the schools communication was crap. I couldn't cope with a chatty group 😅

EmeraldShamrock000 · Today 10:10

The school app has most of the information. I doubt the schools support these groups as they cause trouble, they’re full of misinformation and gossip.

Binnyforthewin · Today 10:11

Definitely leave the group. The only people who post in these groups are attention seeking nutters.

NerrSnerr · Today 10:11

I have a year 8 and year 5 and there has never been a class WhatsApp. People talk as if they’re necessary and they’re really not.

Laundrybasketfull · Today 10:12

The primary and junior groups are the worst and on GCSE results day they all happily emailed their children's results (this group had been dormant since year 6!)

I actually found the secondary group I was on a lot more useful and seemed to be more about what was actually happening logistics wise and a lot more fact based.

StillgotmyiPod · Today 10:13

I refused to join them.

We survived for decades without needing them, I see no point in adding more drama and admin to my life than needed.

Party invitations can be given out in class as normal. People can organise themselves and get a calendar to remember dates.

Trishthedish · Today 10:13

Fruitbatdancer · Today 00:02

This is secondary I kid you not!! Over 100 people on there!

Oh ffs. Come off it NOW. senior school does not need a WhatsApp group. Everything you need to know is on the website, and if you have a query, ask the school office. Homework is set on dojo, so there is nothing else you need to know.

MageKing · Today 10:14

I am currently actively dodging the new year 7 whatsapp group. I am on the Facebook group and I can already tell that if I join the whatsapp I'll lose my mind. A bunch of year 7 parents on the facebook not knowing what uniform, what time etc. I just can't get my head around it. I mean, sure, as they get established at high school, you get a bit more casual, don't pay as much attention to the details from the school but in year bloody 7? Take note of the dates, and the uniform, and the equipment.