Are you a girls girl? Annoying neighbour isn't

[Dogwalkinthedark]

I'd say i'm a girls girl, if you call it that?
Enjoyed the company of men as friends more when younger, but had mainly female pals.
Just been for a dog walk around the neighbourhood with my family and ran into a couple around the corner. Any time we do, this woman just lights up around Dh and chats away (have seen her do this with other male neighbours too)
I've tried hard to be friendly and smiley but she's just not as friendly as with Dh and other men, laughing at his comments (he's not even that funny really 🤣) and chattering away, turning her back on me.
I don't know, maybe she just doesn't like me, which is fine, but she seems to love talking to the men, not women. I realise that sounds bitchy, I don't mean it to be, I just find it a bit annoying especially when we walk off and Dh says 'She's so nice!'
I have a feeling she maybe isn't!

Anyone had this or know what I mean?

I get on better with men than with other women, always have, even my friends at primary school were boys. I find them easier to chat too, non-judgemental, funny, and not gossipy or bitchy.

Don't get me wrong, I don't get on with all men, but I do find it much easier to have a chat with men generally speaking.

I'm not from the area I live and I find the women in this area are generally snobbish, look down their nose at people with my accent, and are incredibly two-faced, so I tend to steer clear of them. Don't get me wrong, I do have female friends here, good ones, but they are the rare exceptions!

What has tweeness got to do with it?

I know women like this and I don’t trust them

I do have a gut feeling like this!

Haven't really had this, but can't you just carry a hockey stick around with you and hack her at the ankles when she starts flirting??

Same here.

After many bad experiences with women friends, I’m far more comfortable with men. Doesn’t mean I’m trying to shag them or oust their wife though. Women are just hard work.

Yes, I'm a woman's woman. I'd be focusing on you. Ime men don't need encouragement to talk and make their unfunny jokes at me. I'm the exact opposite of your woman, in that I try to give them as little attention as possible to discourage them. They also have a habit of thinking you're interested in them if you behave like she did.

I know what you mean. As a child aged around 8yo i went into school to find that my so called best friend has arranged for all the girls to sit on a long table, excluding me.

I went up to the teacher to ask for this situation to be sorted out. She said, just sit on one of the boys' tables. So I sat on a table of 3 boys, and had an epiphany- that boys were way more straightforward.

What does she do for work?

I'm friends with women and men equally but when it comes to small talk (which is what talking to neighbours is) I sometimes find it easier with men, I think because I've worked in male dominated fields for so long that I've been socialised into male small talk.

She just sounds socially awkward, maybe she finds it easier to try and impress men than speak to women and make real connections.

I think it’s pretty normal for women to be friends with other women, that doesn’t make you a girls girl, it just makes you normal.

There’s a woman DH and I know like this, she’s a school mum. She deffo fancies him and whenever she talks to him he makes a point to shoehorn me into the conversation and refer to me as “my lovely wife”. She eventually stopped talking to him but I always make sure to give her a little wave when I see her (I have to physically stop myself bearing my teeth and growling at her I can’t lie).

I would say I’m a girls girl (or woman’s woman if you wanna be pedantic). I’ve never really enjoyed the company of men, but weirdly I get on way better with my brothers than I do my sister. I would class two of my brothers as my actual friends and the other two I’m pretty close to. My sister on the other hand… drives me up the wall. I always wanted to have a sister I got on with and I’ve always been super jealous of close sisters. I’m also way more inclined to take a woman’s side or be more sympathetic to a woman - men get enough sympathy.

I am like OPs neighbour. Because the husband is generally a friendlier person than the wife and the wife and I don't seem to have much in common. It's not a male attention thing.

She sounds male-centred and attention-seeking. She flirts with other men because it gives her a boost or possibly even a power trip over their wives as they stand there watching. It’s pathetic, but unfortunately not uncommon.

I have three brothers and didn’t have my first female friend until I was ten, so I thoroughly missed out on key female socialisation. I find men incredibly easy to get along with and understand them quite well. I still manage to keep them at arm’s length and chat with their girlfriends/ wives. If I don’t they tend to get all bright-eyed and smiley around me, plus their partners tend to be more interesting than they are anyway. It’s not that she “just gets on better” with them, it’s intentional on her part.

"Girl's girl" is the most infantalising phrase. And you're definitely not a "girl's girl" when it comes to her, as it doesn't sound like she's actually doing anything wrong and yet you've taken against her quite strongly.

So she tries to be friendlier with men than women – maybe she has past (daddy) issues that make her want men's approval, maybe she's not good with women because she was bullied a lot growing up and has never got past it, maybe she respects men more because of internalised misogyny, or maybe the men are just friendlier to her. Who knows. None of those are particularly bad things for those around her, and neither do they mean she's not nice, any more than a woman would be 'not nice' for preferring female company and overlooking males.

So unless you think she's flirting and trying to seduce your husband, and he's vulnerable to having his head turned, why the dislike? It doesn't seem very "girl's girl" of you.

Follow your instincts, @Dogwalkinthedark