To want a change of plan?

[Tobermory]

DSS stays with us alternate weekends, last week DH was told by XW that he was taking part in acompetition tomorrow which is an extension of a club he attends mid week. He's not playing a big part in the competition , a group bit near the beginning then lots hanging about to c if and where they place. The competition is some distance away ,2+ hours eachway so they will be for most of the day. I was going to stay home with DD (13 months) but have a sickness bug. Was violently sick for much of last night and early morning, still feel rubbish, dizzy nauseous and washed out, had tomorrow been a work day I wouldn't have been there.
so what to do?
There is no one we can ask to help, MIL is regular babsitter and has same sick bug.
DH could take DD but 4+ hours in car, limited if any facilities and lotsof standing about likely.
DD could stay with me, risk passing on germs and still feel sh*t.
DH calls XW at this late stage and asks her to take DSS but its highly likely she'll make a big song and dance about it.

Does she really want her son getting ill, and then making her ill? Point this out to her.

depends how willing dh is to take daughter. at 13 months she would be happy enough probably. on the otherhand if she was going to catch it she probably already has and you may feel a bit better tomorrow.
dont really think it is necessary to disappoint dss.
if it was me i would have a major duvet day tomorrow with dd. get her a load of toys in the sitting room, duvets etc down and shut yourselves in and slob out for the day. she will love your attention, even if it is as you are lying on the sofa

Dss needs to get to this competion, your d/p is the only person to take him and you are not well.

Bio mother may have already made her own plans, is it fair for her to canel her plans due to your sickness bug? If bio mum is sick do you take care of her dc at a moments notcie in the same way - if so then fairs fair and she will need to cancel any plans.

What would you do if d/p was at work? What would happen to your dd then? Would d/p take dd to work or have time of work?

Oh, I got the wrong end of the stick. I thought DP was in the competition and DSS would be left with you.
I'd say let DP take his son to the competition. Snuggle up in bed with DD and read her loads of books/watch Cbeebies together.

I don't think you're being unreasonable under the circumstances to at least try your dh asking his ex to take dss.

If OP's dh had been the one to get ill, he wouldn't have been able to do it, would he? I don't see why someone needing a chance to get over a nasty bug is being advised to sacrifice herself completely, not to mention the difficulty of looking after a much younger child.