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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cafes are no longer pleasant experiences

197 replies

GeorgeA12 · Today 17:23

Just that really. I used to look forward to having a drink and a bite to eat in cafes, it was nice and relaxing. But no longer, some examples and you always get at least one or two now.

The expense, its getting crazy.
People on mobile phones making noise
Elderly on mobile phones with the speaker on so you can hear the other person.
Dogs
Toddlers
Keyboard warriors
Staff attitudes
Small portions / cheap ingredients
Wobbly and dirty tables
Poor toilet hygiene
Advertising screens (yes there was one in M & S today which really bright)

Anyone else the same?

OP posts:
stillhiding1990 · Today 18:52

Not my experience in Glasgow, love the cafes here, amazing choice

Thatsillymama · Today 18:52

Same. I've completely stopped going to cafes and getting takeaways. I just don't enjoy either anymore. Both are overpriced and crap quality.

TomatoGlut · Today 18:55

A Handy List of Things OP Doesn't Like
Noise
Older people making noise
The noise people make when talking to older people
Dogs
Toddlers
Parenting of toddlers
Parents on phones
The price margin on jacket potatoes
The price of fish and chips
The silver thing on fish and chips
Buses
Trains
Quiet carriages on trains
Staff headsets
Keyboard warriors
Staff attitudes
Small portions
Cheap ingredients
Wobbly tables
Dirty tables
Poor toilet hygiene
Bright advertising things
Noise of keys being pressed
Being rushed
People in supermarkets talking about fish
People who don't talk about fish before leaving home
Concerts
Dogs who turn up with people who sit down.

It's like the list of Sybil Fawlty's mother's morbid fears.

GinaandGin · Today 18:57

Frequency · Today 17:29

Keyboard warriors? How do they affect your cafe visit?

Sitting on their lap tops all day in the cafe
Having loud teams meetings and shooting people dirty looks for daring to talk when they are on their oh so important meeting I would guess

OverTheWater28 · Today 18:57

There are keyboard warriors in the cafes your frequent?

Wineaddict · Today 18:58

I visit M&S cafe a couple of times per week. Never experienced what you’ve mentioned tbh.
Starbucks on the other hand can be very much like that. If it is, I just order my coffee to go. The dogs don’t bother me at all, but noise levels do.

Crocsarentslippers · Today 19:00

Ihateboris · Today 17:30

I think the big (rip off) chain coffee shops are like this, but the small independent ones around my local area are nothing like you describe.

I find small independent ones a bit 'entitled' to be honest.

Sky high prices, average ingredients and too many passive aggressive notices.

Too many people open them more as a hobby rather than a business, the opening times aren't long enough ( opening at 8, closing shortly after lunch) , and rarely open for any length of time at weekends.

Isittimeformynapyet · Today 19:00

KeepScrapingBy · Today 18:24

So many cafes have dirty sticky tables which aren’t cleared quickly when customers leave. They’re probably short staffed and clearing/wiping tables is seen as low priority.

They are. We go to a cafe regularly where there are 2 staff and there's a constant queue. I can see them eyeing the tables as they really know they need clearing, but the customers can be arsey if one of them leaves the counter. I help them out by moving some stuff onto one table, but ultimately they simply can't do it all.

Customers don't like it if they have to wait to be served or if there's no cleared tables. Adding staff increases prices, and they obviously don't like that either. The staff have no control over any of this, but are the ones who take all the flak.

And then there's those who hate dogs or insist on dogs, have children or hate children, have bat ears or yearn for the days of instant coffee.....

Cafés are screwed really 🤷🏻

NovemberMorn · Today 19:00

GinaandGin · Today 18:57

Sitting on their lap tops all day in the cafe
Having loud teams meetings and shooting people dirty looks for daring to talk when they are on their oh so important meeting I would guess

We go to various cafes 4 or 5 times a week. I have very rarely been bothered by people on a laptop, and have NEVER had a dirty look off anyone who has been having an online team meeting.
That includes places like Costa.

Lifeomars · Today 19:02

GeorgeA12 · Today 18:29

I'm not ageist, im getting on but I've observed the older generation seem ok to have their phone on speaker when talking. It's not just cafes it happens in supermarkets when they are talking about what fish to get or what have for dinner! Surely you have seen this?

Why this couldn't be done before they left the house I have no idea! Thank goodness they were born into the mobile phone revolution or would have likely starved to death!

sounds ageist to me, I would tend to think that it is selfish inconsiderate people in general who bellow into their phones. I was on the bus today and there were some people who happened to be young and had were watching a video at full volume on a phone accompanied by much screeching and yelling . More to do with their lack of consideration for others than their age and I just thought they were rude and annoying people rather than rude and annoying young people

ClimbTheLadder · Today 19:03

M&S cafes are grim these days

DancingonmyOwn88 · Today 19:04

I went to one the other day, it is a cafe on a suburban lake walk so nothing else really around. I ordered cheese on toast as even though it wasn’t cheap, it was described nicely on the menu- delicious mature cheese on fresh sourdough or something like that.

You can see everything in there as the till and kitchen is all the same space, and the only table available was right in front of that.

i watched the lady toast one bit of bread from a supermarket pack, slap on a cheap cheese slice (not the orange plastic ones but the mild square type things) and then microwave it. It arrived on a plate no garnish or anything, just a molten hot microwaved bit of cheesy bread, and a small slice as well.

I’m afraid I sent it away and asked for my £4.90 back. She was not happy at all so I probably won’t go back in there now 😬

Its not so much the price, but the quality and experience has diminished so much it just makes for a resentful experience now.

TigerJoy · Today 19:04

Toddlers?!

Jesus.

quixote9 · Today 19:04

I can help with one of the problems! 😇 (😆). The wobbly tables -- and while we're on the topic, why? why do all cafe tables always wobble??

Push the table from side to side until you figure out which leg could use some support. Fold up one or more paper napkins from the table and shove it under that leg. Presto. No more wobble . 🎉

Seymour5 · Today 19:06

I go to a lovely, but small, independent, and a nice cafe in a local garden centre. Both have started allowing dogs. One woman brings a great beast into the GC, (think performance parenting for dogs). There used to be a separate doggy area, it’s now been incorporated into the main bit. We weren’t impressed with it cleaning it’s bits at the next table! Really put me off my scone.

No loud music, thank goodness, and the clientele in both seem reasonably civilised, but do dogs need to go everywhere with their owners? My family have dogs, DD has brought her small pooch to the GC when it had a separate bit, which I think is fine. None of them take their animals to cafes unless there is a separate area or outside seating.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · Today 19:07

I hate cafes in this country with a passion. Too much time spent abroad, a table in the sun with an espresso and a fag,and perhaps a hot pastry. Miserable places in the UK, grotty,overpriced with generally awful coffee.

JennyShaw · Today 19:09

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · Today 19:07

I hate cafes in this country with a passion. Too much time spent abroad, a table in the sun with an espresso and a fag,and perhaps a hot pastry. Miserable places in the UK, grotty,overpriced with generally awful coffee.

Do you think that's why so many people go to Greggs now? Obviously it doesn't compare to a French cafe but I've found that their flat white is very good.

TheWytch · Today 19:14

TomatoGlut · Today 18:43

Reckon you went to Burns the Bread.

Love that cafe.
When Boris Johnson came to Glastonbury they had to change his tour route because there was a massive sign saying 'GO HOME YOU FAT CLOWN' outside of Burns.

Haha - yes of course I was! The takeaway coffee is pretty good and very reasonably priced.

I'm in Glastonbury tomorrow for the big Saturday market and I'll be back in there again.

CareBearClaire · Today 19:14

You are not wrong. My own personal hate, being chucked out after an hour and 15 minutes because ‘your time is up’ 😣

DancingonmyOwn88 · Today 19:18

CareBearClaire · Today 19:14

You are not wrong. My own personal hate, being chucked out after an hour and 15 minutes because ‘your time is up’ 😣

That’s not unique to the UK. I fondly remember a time in Paris when I settled myself into a corner with a book, a coffee and a pan au chocolat and after 15 minutes the waiter practically threw me out of the window as I’d apparently lingered too long and they wanted the table 😂

WhereYouLeftIt · Today 19:19

BrummieKara · Today 17:41

I agree about the expense, but aside from that I don't think there were ever halcyon days where cafes were quiet, particularly clean or relaxing, nor did they ever serve high quality food. But I'm old enough to remember the local cafe of my childhood which was permanently thick with pipe smoke.

Also don't agree that independents are typically better. They're as much a mixed bag as the chains.

I actually can remember several quiet, clean and relaxing cafes with good food, but every single one styled themselves as tearooms. Not cafes, not coffee shops, not street kitchens - tearooms.

I think they managed to be quiet by limiting the hard surfaces that sound just bounces off, but instead had soft surfaces to absorb sound. Fully upholstered seats, and tablecloths. Carpets! Potplants. No music, just the soft murmer of conversations.

These would now be considered very old-fashioned - all of them closed at least two decades ago.

The current fashion around here is either Scandi (bare wooden furniture), Industrial (exposed brick and scaffolding shelves) or Bohemian (old pews and wooden shelves). No soft surfaces, so lots of bouncing sounds.

I feel very fortunate with the range of local cafes here, plenty of good ones and just a few mingers.

GeorgeA12 · Today 19:19

Lifeomars · Today 19:02

sounds ageist to me, I would tend to think that it is selfish inconsiderate people in general who bellow into their phones. I was on the bus today and there were some people who happened to be young and had were watching a video at full volume on a phone accompanied by much screeching and yelling . More to do with their lack of consideration for others than their age and I just thought they were rude and annoying people rather than rude and annoying young people

I said I have only observed elderly people putting their speaker on to have a phone call. Lots of other people use their phones to make noise but specifically I have never seen other generations using their speaker to have a call.

OP posts:
CorporalJohn · Today 19:20

yogpot · Today 17:25

You’re going to the wrong cafes.

This x 1000.

MyManinCaracas · Today 19:21

Our local independent used to be great but it’s tourist place now, and no longer a place were you go and see other regulars.

Charlize43 · Today 19:21

GeorgeA12 · Today 17:32

Yes I was in an M & S one today and it was bad!

The S & M one behind the High Street is slightly better... although you do have to hear the sound of whip lash... but I use noise cancelling headphones so the shrieks and moans don't distract from my book.

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