Aibu to think perfect work life balance isn't possible.

[Worklifebalance2026]

Aibu to think the perfect work life balance is hard to achieve? And some area is always going to be lacking?

Or do you have the perfect work life balance? If so, what do you do?

My previous job was engaging and rewarding. But staying on top of everything came at the expense of unpaid overtime and not being able to switch off at night. This impacted on my time with DC. I either had to work late, or my brain was frazzled and I was unengaged.

I moved and now have no overtime and can switch off in the evening and enjoy time with my kids.bBut the work days feel long and boring and I'm not motivated during the work day. Mondays are hard because I feel dread at sitting at a desk for the next 5 days.

Has anyone truly been able to get the mix right? Wondering if I should look again. My location is a big factor in that there isn't much within a 1 hour drive of where I live.

I think if one does find it, it tends to be fleeting because circumstances change to shift it again. What works when you're 30 won't necessarily be ideal at 40, for example

It’s a message that was sold to women - you can have it all.
I don’t think that’s possible - you have to pick and choose between what you want, what you need and what you are willing to put up with. Compromise and be willing to change things as life inevitably changes.

I was actually just thinking that. My youngest is 7 so my family needs now are different to what they will be in 5 years. Maybe I just have to stick it out for 5 years, then look for a change at that point.

Totally agree. Always feel like I’m failing in one or more areas.

I'd say I do. I enjoy my job and I work 9-1 in accounts but it doesn't pay well so we rely on DH's salary. If I wanted a FT salary then balance would be out the window with an expensive breakfast club and after-school care bill.

Rather than trying to attain (and inevitably fail) to ‘have it all’ - I aim for “everyone fed and no one dead” on a day to day basis. Lower expectations means a much greater chance of not being disappointed and actually being happy or at least content in the moment.
another cliche incoming but true - but now is really all we have, yesterday was borrowed and tomorrow is not promised to pauper or millionaire.

It sort of is sort of possible IME but with some big, big caveats!

Your dh has to pull his weight with all the child stuff, house stuff, life admin etc, that makes a huge difference.

The more senior you get at work the easier it gets in a way because you are paid for what you deliver, not presenteeism so it becomes easier to leave early, go to parents evening, WFH etc

If your job gives you enough money to outsource stuff, you do it. I've always had a cleaner and paid for after school nannies or after school clubs. Shopping was all online with either cleaners or nannies putting it away. All bills were and are paid by dd. So time at home really was time with children and DH, not doing chores.

With friends, I kept in touch with my friends when my children were small with long phone calls and Zoom meetings.

I think when you've got smaller kids it's hard to keep up with a relationship and a job and friends but as they get older they tend to spend more time with their own friends and you get more time back.

I've pretty much always had senior, well paid jobs and rarely worked beyond a 9-5.30 day. But as I said above, it's because it was about delivery, not presenteeism.

I think you might be looking for a job where you're valued and engaged but don't do stupid hours, they do exist. If you could find a hybrid or remote role like that would it help?

I have somehow wangled mine to be pretty much spot on.
Remote working
3 days per week
Office day in the city one day a month
Live by the sea
Dogs, no kids
I think the having no kids is the thing that has made it possible and I can appreciate that's not for everyone.

I think something always has to give. For me, I have taken a full time flexible job that works around my daughter. Its not what I want to do forever but it gives us a decent life.
Now my daughter is 13, I have roped her into doing more chores so its not constantly all on me to fit in all the housework. That's made a big difference to me & she appreciates the extra pocket money.

I have the perfect work life balance by working part time. I don't think its possible working full time.

That wasn't true for me.

Yes, it's less "having it all" and more "doing it all". I didn't do it all because it would have been too much for me. Just focused on career and enough money for future retirement.

I think I've got a pretty good balance. My job is full time, but remote and very flexible, so I can go to sports day, watch school football matches etc and just work around them as needed. I enjoy my job, get paid fairly well, rarely feel overworked or that I need to work evenings/weekends.
There are things we do that mean we spend less of our free time on chores - shopping gets delivered, we have a cleaner who comes once a week. Washing it done throughout the week (machine goes on first thing, washing gets hung on the line at lunch time - by me or DH as he also works at home some of the week).

I think it’s tough. I work a pretty senior job, I get a fair amount of flexibility in that I can go to nursery events, take kids to the doctor etc easily. But the work doesn’t go away so I’m often working in evenings anyway even when I don’t take extra time off in the week. I’d love to work 4 days a week but my role wouldn’t allow it (and even if they did I’d get paid for four days but have to do 5 days work as there’s no one else to pick it up and they won’t employ someone for one day). I also can’t afford to drop to a low paid role with more flexible number of days. Before kids I’d often be in the office til 6/7pm but then completely free in the evenings so it didn’t feel so bad. Now I have to leave on the dot to get the kids/see them for a bit, then log back on 9ish to do a couple more hours which feels worse in some ways.

I’ve got great work life balance. Ive been working the equivalent of 2.5 days per week term time only for 5 years. I do either 1 or 2 days per week in office (alternating weeks) then the rest from home.

I then work roughly 10-12 hours locum work per week as a contractor, and maybe do a little more over the summer holidays if I’m not away. I make my own diary, am always home and done by 5pm, except for occasional evening (if there’s a deadline). I earn a pretty good salary. Have one 1 and dog. Never had to miss a school event, appointment or use holiday care.

For me currently it's 20 hours a week in a zero stress but low paid job

Exactly what I was going to say. I appreciate it’s not a luxury available to everybody.

In what way? Too much leisure time?

It wouldn’t suit everyone, I’m sure. I work 20 hours a week and that’s perfect for me.

I think I do I WFH full time. Not stressful and well paid, don’t generally work late. Do lots of stuff with kids and lots of running. Bit hectic sometimes but all good.

I’m fairly happy with my work life balance working part time ( three full days a week). I work in IT and stick to the technical side with no management responsibility, which isn’t for everyone but I like it and it avoids lots of stress and overtime ( I also accept a lower salary and work somewhere that pays overtime, which means there are plenty of volunteers when it is required).
in an ideal world I wouldn’t have my kids in breakfast and after school club, but honestly the break makes me a better parent when I am with them ( a friend does 5 short days so she can do school pick ups and seems to be constantly rushing from one thing to the next). I use the school hours on my days off to do the housework and have a bit of me time.

This basically 24-30 hrs a week paid work is perfect. Supermarket shop and gym class on my day off

I used to work 9am-2.30pm 3 days a week, which I much prefer to 9am-1pm 5 days a week to be honest, but it was horribly stressful so I spent my two days off worrying about work while I went round Tesco and did the cleaning...

I don’t think the perfect work life balance is possible with working full time in a job where you bring work home. I’d question whether it’s possible working full time even in a low-stress job. Maybe if you have a partnership where your spouse truly shares the load 50%, but I don’t think I know any partnerships where that’s the case. My husband is an equal partner practically housework and childcare terms, but I definitely still do more of the mental load. Mostly because I want things done a certain way, so I’m not complaining but just noting it.

I work part time (0.6) in a low stress job where I don’t bring anything home. My work-life balance is pretty perfect. I can do all the school runs, have the mental space to volunteer and be involved in my child’s school and extra-curriculars. But it’s not a job that inspires passion in me or impresses other people. So although I’m very happy, I’m not “a woman who has it all”.

I think having the right job is key. I retrained to teach after years in another profession and just LOVE it. It doesn’t feel like work. Plus we get a quarter of the year off!

I also work a slightly shorter week at 4 days so I have a day doing my planning/prep and half a day off, all at home, so I can catch up on stuff like food shop, washing etc to leave evenings free.

I work 30-40 mins away from my school and love my commute as I listen to podcasts series or audiobooks so it’s actually a lovely way to pass the time.

but for me I think the key thing is genuinely loving what you do.