AIBU to spend money on our hobbies as parents of young children?

[Andmaxandthat]

Hi, So this may seem like a pathetic question but my mum has made me feel really awful today so I am looking for some external input.
DH and I are fairly young parents, we have 2 children, ages 4 and 2.
Ever since our eldest was born, we have protected time each week for us to stay fit and healthy, for DH this is Taekwondo, 2 times a week 8-9pm but it is in a different town so he leaves around 7:40 home around 9:20. Our youngest is almost always asleep by then, and DD is bathed, and just needs a story before sleep. I do Ballet 2 times a week too, 7:45-9, it's only a 5 minute drive away and I never linger if I can avoid it so DH isn't alone for too long, but most of the time I get home to both girls asleep.

My mum today said she thinks it's very selfish of us to spend £90 a month of our fairly limited income on this, when we could spend it on DDs or save it. We already own/have a mortgage, and DD1 does dance, ballet and swimming, DD2 baby ballet and gymtots. We manage one holiday a year, like a eurocamp type holiday.
Yes we get most clothes second hand, don't spend big on christmas etc, but I think this time is really important to DH and I, pre-kids we ran marathons together along side our individual hobbies, and I also think it is good for the girls to have active role models.
Other than this the only real spending on us, is I do lunch with friends once a month and DH has a pub night once a month with his friends.

AIBU to do this? Is it selfish? Should that money be going on nicer clothes/toys for our kids?

To put it another way, you’re both working hard to keep fit and strong to keep up with your kids. I wholeheartedly agree with your approach - reduce consumption with second hand clothes and toys while making sure you prioritise mental and physical health so you can be there for your kids now and later.

Our biggest disposable expenditure all goes on sports various. DC are teens now and we get so much joy from competing together, and along the way they have done volunteering, coaching, and have learned how to get along with people much older and younger than themselves. DC1’s first paid work (at 14) is in one of our shared sports. Having disposable income for hobbies is a privilege, but is not selfish or wasteful compared to other types of spending. Enjoy!

That money is an investment in your physical and mental wellbeing.
It will make you better parents.
And it's none of your mum's business.

Ok your mum is being "interesting". No one would begrudge since outside interests and keeping yourself fit and healthy is an excellent outlet.
I think they're are a certain type of a certain generation that jas a bit of internalised misogyny going on, that or very fixed ideas about roles or rules for life.
You sound like you're balancing your kids needs and yours and your husband's... Good on you

I wish we’d done this - we wrapped ourselves up in our kids and it’s not really done us or our marriage or our health any favours. You have a great balance and your kids are fine - enjoy!