AIBU to go off sick over complaint about me at work

[SadlyNotATroll]

have kept some details deliberately vague but will try to give as much detail as I can. I work in the public sector dealing with members of the public, making decisions that affect their lives. We recently recruited and I chaired the recruitment panel. Due to legal issues affecting our department we were no longer able to recruit and withdrew the vacancy. I was tasked with communicating this decision to the unsuccessful applicants after they had interviewed, but was not able to offer any information as to why they were unsuccessful, despite them being told if they were unsuccessful that they would get feedback.

One of the candidates was very upset about this and emailed me several times asking for feedback. I explained I could no longer provide feedback but I couldn’t explain why. Upper management forbade me from providing any further context, e.g. that there was a legal issue affecting the vacancy. The candidate emailed me several times over the following days and I replied each time saying I was sorry but the decision was final.

They have now complained about me and I am being investigated. I am confident I have done nothing wrong but I am so anxious about the process. I’ve been told it could take up to 4 weeks. I’ve been invited to a formal interview next week and have asked a member of the union to come with me. I don’t know if it would look bad if I went off sick. I’m so anxious my brain keeps jumping to the worst conclusion. I just don’t know what to do.

Doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong. Go to work and hold your head up. The applicant sounds unhinged!

It will look bad if you go off sick.

Did your manager email you the instruction not to give any feedback?

You don’t need to go off sick - that will just prolong the process. You’ve done nothing wrong. Attend the meetings, see what the view is and that of your union rep then decide from there. It might just be a flash in the pan, but if not your union rep will guide you.

I have it all on email that we were to “hold the line” and be a broken record RE feedback. They were promised feedback in writing when being invited to interview. I feel thrown under the bus by management. I’m so stressed by it. I have never had time off sick for mental health before and wouldn’t even know how to go about it. I’m worried they’re going to try and make me a scapegoat and I’ll lose my job which is probably irrational but my head is all over the place.

You haven’t done anything wrong and it appears that you weren’t properly supported by HR, who should have given you a sentence or two to write.

I completely understand, I had a wholly unfounded complaint made about me (as in, the thing never even happened, let alone me being at fault) but it was still incredibly stressful, far more than I'd ever have expected. BUT don't go off unless you really need to. Let the process run, hold your head up and lean on colleagues for support. It will be ok!

It sounds like you’ve followed the instructions you were given to the letter, amidst a complex legal situation. I’m sure they are just following protocol and you have nothing to worry about. Of course you’re anxious, anyone would be, but if you go off sick it’s just prolonging the situation isn’t it? Is it not best to get through it as quickly as possible?

What shit show area of the public sector do you work in, that this was allowed to happen? Ordered to deal with candidates dreadfully and then investigated when (understandably) a complaint comes in.

Time and money being pissed down the toilet over this completely predictable event.

Don't go off sick, but you may as well shove a complaint in yourself and add to the bureaucracy.

Why on earth didn't they give you some pre-approved wording that you could provide as feedback? Totally unnecessary for you to have been put in that position.

Don't go off sick. You have done nothing wrong and the investigation will show as much.

I totally agree. I wish I could say. We’re not technically civil servants but public servants.

I don’t believe in going off sick to prove a point but I also don’t know how I will concentrate on anything else while this is going on. It’s true though that it’ll just cause it to drag on and I want it over as soon as possible. Then I may raise a grievance although I hate confrontation

From their POV, they were promised guaranteed feedback, and your name was on the email denying them this, so of course it is YOU who they made the complaint about. They do not know what was going on behind the scenes with management—from their POV you’re the issue.

Have you provided your union rep with copies of the instructions from management?

I carry out HR investigations and totally understand how stressful this is for you. Have you had a formal letter explaining exactly why you, personally are subject to the investigation or is it that this is an investigation of the complaint itself and in order to investigate the complaint, someone independent of the recruitment process needs to speak to you?

I would suggest that ether way, you put together any documents such as emails where you were told that you could no longer recruit to the post, also proof of what you were told to say by management - and the name of the person who gave you this instruction. For example, did anyone from HR tell you what to write to the candidates? Also draw up a chronology of events, including the names of the people involved. If you do this, it will not only help prepare you for the meeting, but it may calm you slightly, as you’ll be able to prove to yourself that you’ve done nothing wrong.

Sorry this has happened, and if you are feeling too unwell mentally to do your job effectively, then of course you should take time off, just as you would with any other illness.

I do understand that it can be a difficult decision when it comes to mental health, as in some circumstances staying off work can actually lead to greater feelings of stress.....

And nobody on here can really advise you on this, as we don't know how you are feeling .....

What I suggest is you make an emergency appointment with your GP tomorrow. If they are decent they will talk you through your options and advise what they think would be best for your health. If they feel you would be better off taking some time off, once you have described your symptoms to them, then you should follow their advice.

Trust the experts - people on here will have their views, but without talking to you in detail we really can't know what's best for you.

Good luck! X

I trust you’re a member of a union? You should contact the union and ask for advice and support.

Very good advice about a timeline, thank you. I get everything in writing and have all the emails relating to it in a folder so that’s ok. On one occasion on a catch up with my line manager I mentioned this candidate was still peppering me with emails and I was told to ignore them but that was verbal.

I am in union and they are coming to the meeting with me.

You’ve done nothing wrong, be confident in that and go to work with your head held high.
Complaints happen all the time, often unfounded and petty, you can’t let these things get on top of you so much as you’ll make yourself ill. Keep busy with work, being at home will only add to the procrastination and reflect badly on you and your level of resilience.

This is bonkers. Why were you prevented from giving them feedback on their interview? It would have been much easier for all involved for you to just note some positives and negatives as promised. Why wouldn't they allow that? I'm not surprised people complained, you must have come across as really spiteful (not your fault of course).

It sounds daft but even though I’m confident I will be cleared I’m still so stressed and anxious. If I was giving advice to a friend I’d say they have nothing to worry about but it’s different when it’s happening to you.

Because we’re being sued basically for giving feedback that was deemed discriminatory so SLT have paused all feedback while the case is ongoing

Absolutely raise how your professional integrity was affected by what they told you to do. I'd be flipping tables*.

*and that's why I'm self-employed.

Oh! Yikes.

If you are ill go off sick
if ware not ill do not go off sick

I'm confused as to why they are wasting time on this? When this person sent in a complaint saying person X won't tell me why I haven't got the job and is refusing feedback, why didn't they reply with the same type of wording you did 'Sorry I can't say why.' And just end it right there? Why are they faffing about with this? I'd be inclined to go off sick to spite them by this point! This person doesn't even work with you! I have never come across an organisation who would entertain this?

I wouldn't be worried. You've just done what you were told to do. Can you go to HR and make some kind of official complaint/grievance yourself about this? I wouldn't let this go if they're going to be like this. They started the confrontation not you. Id be making sure I was the one who caused them some hassle back.

And why not go off sick for a few days in the meantime. You can be off for a few days without a drs note. Tummy bug, stress, migraine etc.

But you didn't give that feedback. So why are they creating extra drama?