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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unemployed and ageism

46 replies

Monsoon38 · 22/08/2026 18:58

My mum's late 50s and is out of work. She's in the healthcare industry and has had around 8 interviews over the last 2 months where she was unsuccessful.
The issue is most of them just never got back to her despite saying they'd call her the next day, only 1 or 2 actually did.

She's qualified and has decades of experience, she believes it's her age even though she intends to work until retirement age or beyond. She's getting quite disheartened, she did get offered one job but decided the travel was too far.

The thing is she doesn't want to apply for any job just to have an income, luckily they are not desperate for income. I know in my position I'd have to take on any job to pay the mortgage, but i understand it can be hard to go from a professional role to something else when you've always worked in that field.

Not sure what else she can do other than keep trying. I do suspect ageism may play a role and it's wrong, she's sitting at home a lot and I do help with job applications where I can. It's supposed to be an industry where they're 'crying out for staff'. Told her to try agencies but they've apparently told her they aren't getting a lot of work.

OP posts:
OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:27

Onbuy · 22/08/2026 20:19

I can’t imagine what you must be like as a parent

shudder

What has people wasting time going to job interviews for a job they can't take
got to do with parenting?

(My kids are grown up, living happy, fulfilled lives in professional roles. They appear to have survived despite me sharing factual info on Mumsnet about checking a journey before applying for a job).

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:28

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/08/2026 20:27

I have. And it can and does cost money i agree. But you don’t know these people or the employer, they are strangers on the internet in a story that might not even be real for all you no, really not worth being nasty and bitter about. Life happens and the vast majority of people get that, clearly not you though.

Bitter about what?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/08/2026 20:29

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:28

Bitter about what?

God knows, it’s you throwing insults around to random people on mumsnet. How would I know why you are like this 🤷‍♀️

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:30

IStillHearTheWaves · 22/08/2026 20:19

Sometimes you don't know that a journey will be a nightmare until you do it. Many journeys look fine on paper aren't in real life! Maybe she only realised this when going to the interview(s).

Totally agree journeys can be unpredicatable. Which is why a grown up researches it before applying for a job.

Onbuy · 22/08/2026 20:30

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:27

What has people wasting time going to job interviews for a job they can't take
got to do with parenting?

(My kids are grown up, living happy, fulfilled lives in professional roles. They appear to have survived despite me sharing factual info on Mumsnet about checking a journey before applying for a job).

Your views on the issue at hand is irrelevant
Your style and approach…. That’s what makes me think WTF I hope your kids are ok

and you were hardly likely to admit to being a horrible judgy parent were you 🙄

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:41

Onbuy · 22/08/2026 20:30

Your views on the issue at hand is irrelevant
Your style and approach…. That’s what makes me think WTF I hope your kids are ok

and you were hardly likely to admit to being a horrible judgy parent were you 🙄

Edited

What a horrible judgey post!

5128gap · 22/08/2026 20:41

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 19:44

Maybe it's come back to bite her though - a bit of karma?Wasting a company's time by applying and being interviewed for a role that 'she decided the travel was too far' is not her wisest move. Why on earth didn't she think about that BEFORE she took up people's time. It's not as if a location can change half way through a process. Very unprofessional.

Nonsense. No such thing as Karma. The only way rejecting a job can cause problems is if you apply to the same place again. Even then it often doesn't as an interview is a two way street, as much for the applicant to decide as the employer. There certainly isn't a cosmic force that's a cross between God and a DWP work coach punishing people for declining unsuitable jobs.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/08/2026 20:41

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:41

What a horrible judgey post!

Now that’s karma

Onbuy · 22/08/2026 20:42

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:41

What a horrible judgey post!

But bang on the money I suspect. Depressingly.

FourSevenFive · 22/08/2026 20:44

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:30

Totally agree journeys can be unpredicatable. Which is why a grown up researches it before applying for a job.

Maybe you take it too literally.

If the OP wrote something like it was too far for the hours/compensation package/ taking start time into account, it would be a complete non-issue, interviews are two way street and the job just wasn't that appealing.

And yes, her deciding to not accept probably was a combination of aspects, everything is.

SwirlyGates · 22/08/2026 20:45

8 interviews and 1 job offer in 2 months is not bad going, seriously.

Hankunamatata · 22/08/2026 20:45

Join bank in local nhs trust?

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:48

5128gap · 22/08/2026 20:41

Nonsense. No such thing as Karma. The only way rejecting a job can cause problems is if you apply to the same place again. Even then it often doesn't as an interview is a two way street, as much for the applicant to decide as the employer. There certainly isn't a cosmic force that's a cross between God and a DWP work coach punishing people for declining unsuitable jobs.

Totally agree a recruitment process is two way. You learn as you go along. But that's not the case here. The location is the location. The applicant rejected the job on information that was available before they applied.

You're of course right about karma. It's a common phrase. I'm sure you've said it. I doubt many that use it actually believe it!

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:49

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/08/2026 20:41

Now that’s karma

🤣

Onbuy · 22/08/2026 20:52

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:49

🤣

Are you ok @OutOfTheOtherSide ? You’re coming across a little… hysterical

bigfacthunter · 22/08/2026 20:53

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 20:15

Maybe but my point stands. It is beyond stupid, selfish and unprofessional to waste time in pursuing a job when you haven't done something as basic as checking you can get there. If the OP and her mum are being open about the reason she turned it down, it isn't beyond the realms of possibility that a candidate becomes known as a time waster.

I’ve been to several interviews where the company headquarters and interview location is completely different to that of the day to day job. My current job I only found out the exact location about 3 weeks after the job offer. I think you’re projecting quite a lot onto the OPs mothers situation and trying to derail the thread over some strange personal grievance.

LoremIpsumCici · 22/08/2026 20:55

OutOfTheOtherSide · 22/08/2026 19:56

Maybe the company has dodged a bullet then if she can't work Google maps.

Ffs I suppose you’ve never applied for a role where you don’t know for sure which location it will be within a region until you get the offer and contract ?

Onbuy · 23/08/2026 06:26

bigfacthunter · 22/08/2026 20:53

I’ve been to several interviews where the company headquarters and interview location is completely different to that of the day to day job. My current job I only found out the exact location about 3 weeks after the job offer. I think you’re projecting quite a lot onto the OPs mothers situation and trying to derail the thread over some strange personal grievance.

@OutOfTheOtherSide is just best ignored.

Obviously in a dark mood about something and thought she’d lash out

notcomfortable · 23/08/2026 06:54

I feel for your mum. I am on the other side, I am an employer and out of 15 interviews I had booked, only 4 people showed up 😩

pinkdelight · 23/08/2026 07:05

8 interviews and a job offer in 2 months is very good going, esp in today’s market. Many people (esp young people with much less experience) are sending 100s of applications out and getting nothing. In retrospect maybe she should’ve taken the job offered as it’s always easier to get a job when you have one, but at least she can take a positive boost from it that she did get an offer and will again. I agree the market is awful and ageism can be an issue,but hers doesn’t sound like a tale of woe so far. The move is what lost her last role, she’s been offered a job and got close with lots of others. I think staying positive and getting interview feedback to work on is the better move than taking this as ageism. Sounds like she’ll get something soon. Good luck!

ApiratesaysYarrr · 23/08/2026 09:47

It's probably no consolation but my friends husband of a similar age after being made redundant from a job that paid 6 figures still hasn't got a job, despite loads of applications, and a small number of interviews.

The job market is tougher, and age probably does play a part.

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