AIBU to find a group of small boys just chatting at the playground unusual?

[ShedShedShed]

We go to the local playground most days, and observe the kids generally and know some dog them etc.
What stands out to me is a little group of boys 6,6,6 and 8. They always just stand around talking. Occasionally will sit on swings and chat. Never seem to actually play unless and adult leads them in something like hide and seek or chase. It's like they're teenagers but without the larking around 13 year olds do between chatting.
It's bizarre to me, my DS is 7 and plays with others, racing, helping on monkey bars, playing pirates, football by himself or with others. This group he doesn't play with because they just want to stand around talking about whatever it is they talk about.

Is this usual behaviour you'd expect?

Op focus on you`re own kids and stop judging others.
Maybe they was playing eye spy, or catting about hot wheels, spider man movie, or transformers.

Stop policing kids are you the same poster that has issues with kids playing outside with chalk.

I would imagine iPad kids would be less likely to have the social skills to chat and interact for a prolonged period.

I think it’s stranger that you go to parks, observe other peoples children socialising and then judge them on the internet.. but go off 👏🏼

Being able to chat and enjoy the back and forth of conversation is a great life skill, kids don't need to tear around all the time. I'm intrigued as to what they are chatting about, if I had seen them i'd have been tempted to eavesdrop

Do you know what theyre talking about? Football, international politics, how weird the woman staring at them is ( 😄).

Come back when they’re 17 and your feral kid is smoking meth behind the bike shed whilst these kids begin to run the world eh

Sounds OK to me, quite normal.

8 or 9 comments already from people saying they know kids who do this - not sure why you keep saying nobody is commenting that this is normal behaviour?

I was definitely more of a thinker as a child than one running around like a blue arsed fly. Never seemed to get on with kids that did. Nor did I ever think I was "superior" to kids who did prefer to run about screaming. Just different.

No idea why you're so upset by kids who don't rush about being annoying screeching.

how have you decided that it's clearly unusual given multiple people have said it's normal, their kids did/do the same, etc.?

The kids chatting to each other seem to have better listening comprehension than you, given it's not just one child ignoring everything the others say!

I also don't know how you've decided that not playing without an adult starting a game = don't know how to play.

If you saw an adult not doing something - changing a tyre, standing on one leg, cooking a meal, would you assume they also did not know how to do it? Or would you just realise that just because they were not demonstrating that particular skill at that very second, they couldn't do it?

I don’t think it’s unusual. Many children behave this way. I certainly did fairly often as a child. It’s actually lovely that these young boys enjoy each other’s company and just chatting together. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that they don’t know how to play independently simply because they choose this type of recreation. I would say that they are doing “the work of childhood” just as other children are by playing active games on the playground. They are all developing important skills (social, communicative, interactive). And of course having fun.

Why has this bothered you? Please consider and answer genuinely instead of saying you're just asking if it's unusual. You're not just asking that, your tone here is a clear dig at young children.
What's to say they NEED an adult to direct them? It sounds more to me like they enjoy chatting which is well within the 'norm' for their age. What's wrong with them chatting instead of playing? Chatting takes more social skill than swinging on monkey bars. Is that what it is that's got to you? Comparison to your own child and wanting go criticise children who aren't like him? There is absolutely nothing wrong with a 6 year old playing on the equipment either. I'm sure all the children are happy and thriving in their own ways.

Why are you spending your time "observing" children who aren't yours? That's such strange behaviour imo.

It's clearly unusual that 6 year olds stand around chatting instead of playing in the playground. How is it "clearly" unusual? My 6yo is a chatterbox. She'll chat to anyone of any age, about anything. My oldest was the same at that age. Some of their friends are the same, some are quieter/shy/less confident/whatever. Children are people, people are all different, there is no "normal".

Did they not let your son chat too so they've annoyed you?

It seems strange to insist how unusual it is for boys to chat.

I had 2 boys. One ran round like a loon but the other preferred talking to his friends and swapping football stickers to actually running about.

Where do you live OP? It’s been bloomin’ hot here for weeks on end and far too hot for running around from mid-morning to late afternoon. My ds is a teen but he had his mates have spent most of this summer sitting in the shade in gardens / parks just chatting….they even get in to a little huddle and chat quite quietly….playing a mega game of battleships or top trumps must be plotting to take over the world. At a younger age they’d generally be quite active and then go and find somewhere to sit and chat, first time after lock down when they were finally allowed to socialise in the playground they spent hours chatting to each other….clearly starved of peer companionship!

They are just more mature to have attention span and have conversation, maybe private school kids. Too mature to just run around the playground

No that’s not correct, lots of posters before this have said it’s completely normal to stand around chatting. They have said children like to do this, that and the other and it is normal to see children doing this. Just because not every child chats (because some are running, some are on the play equipment etc) doesn’t mean it’s not normal, the vast majority of posters have said yes their child does this or they see children doing this even if theirs doesn’t. But you keep repeating that it is unusual. It isn’t unusual! My children did this. Not every single time, but they did this.

No one is attacking you and pretty much everyone is saying it's NOT unusual. You have no idea whether they can play without an adult's direction from the snippet you see at the playground. Maybe they've tired themselves out by riding their bikes or swimming earlier.

Many posters said it isn’t unusual including a teacher.

Not sure why you’re getting a hard time about this thread, I’d also find that strange for that age group if they’re park regulars and they never actually play at the park and just stand and chat.

Why does it seem unusual to you? Because it is not your personal experience? I teach that age group. While many boys (and girls) like to spend their time playing with balls/equipment/running around there are always some that prefer to chat or draw.

It does seem that you are the one that possibly needs "help"...

They will probably be talking about Pokemon 😁
I wonder why it has bothered you so much though @ShedShedShed does your son have plenty of friends? Can he chat and have conversations with peers? Is he 'boisterous'?

I don't think it is unusual though. Again, they will most likely be talking about Pokemon and how lovely that they seem to be a like minded bunch.

My son at that age would prefer the quiet chat group, if it had been on offer and gravitated to it to compare Pokémon etc. But also would be quite happily ok, in he moment, to have "tolerated" (as someone else has put it blue arsed flies). It takes all sorts.

I never once got involved in his friendships apart from when I have had to advocate for him when he couldn't himself.

I honestly would not have noticed to the situation you described of a group of 4 kids talking to each other in a park. Unless I thought there was some detriment to them or my child.

I'm not sure on your query?