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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to consider leaving my husband despite fears about finances and care?

27 replies

Cheesetoastie93 · 20/08/2026 21:23

I’m thinking of leaving my dh, married for 8 years, 3 kids. But I’m terrified of the financial impact. He works full time (we do still get help from Universal Credit), but I’m a carer as my children are autistic. My oldest is starting a special college soon which is great, my middle has mental health issues which creates burnout and sleep issues aswell as multiple appointments, and my youngest has just started specialist school and needs a lot of prompting to attend. There’s no after school facilities and they’re unable to be left alone after school if I was working, and I have no family to rely on. I’m honestly terrified of getting judged for being another single parent just living on benefits.

I’m thinking of leaving due to him having no involvement in family life, outings, housework, cooking etc yet expecting sex, grabbing my body at inappropriate times, telling me he’s the ‘leader of the pack’. The thought of having sex with him actually destroys me. When he’s not at work he’s lying on the sofa watching shorts or playing video games.

OP posts:
TheBlueKoala · Yesterday 17:35

@Cheesetoastie93 you didn't choose to have disabled children (I do as well) but you can choose to raise them in a peaceful environment. Please do.

Justaquestionplease · Yesterday 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

The bloke is hardly a millionaire if they're eligible for universal credit. I don't think the op is the gold-digger you think she is.

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