am I expecting too much of myself too soon?

[islifemorethanmum]

AIBU to think I’m running before I can walk trying to get my career back?

I went back to work in May after having my little boy and I’m really struggling with feeling like myself again, particularly when it comes to my career.
Before having him, my career was a massive part of my identity. I was ambitious, progressing and always knew what I was working towards. Since becoming a mum my priorities have obviously changed, but I still really miss that side of myself.

I’ve been working part time since returning and I’m already looking at other opportunities and trying to work out my next career move. The problem is I’m finding it much harder than I expected to get properly back into the working world, and I’m starting to wonder whether I’m putting too much pressure on myself too soon.

My little boy is only 1 and I’ve only actually been back at work since May. Part of me feels like I should give myself some time to settle into working and being a mum before expecting myself to have my career figured out again.

But another part of me desperately wants to feel like me again. I miss having something that is mine, feeling ambitious and feeling like I’m progressing towards something.

I don’t necessarily want my pre-baby life back. I think I’m trying to work out what my career looks like now that I’m a mum as well.

AIBU to be pushing myself to find the next step already? Am I running before I can walk and should I just give myself six months or so to settle, or did anyone else feel like getting their career moving again actually helped them feel more like themselves?

Just enjoy being a Mum, as you say it’s still early days and you’ve many years ahead of you to progress at work. There’s more to life x

In short, be kind to yourself. Be aware that in these next years, until your DS is in yr1, there can be lots of surprises. So whilst it's great to be looking ahead to the next position,consider that it might not serve your purposes as well.

You love your LO and you love your career. As time goes by, they'll make room for each other.
It's not true for every woman but for many, motherhood means a temporary go-slow at work. Even if your DH/babydaddy is the most amazing, often, babies just want their mums and you end up looking after them. Also, nurseries can be as bad as cruise ships for circulating sniffles.

I found that motherhood made me more ambitious and more career-focused, partly because I realised that increased seniority means increased flexibility which is worth its weight in gold. I quit my job within a few months of going back for a role that was different and allowed me to develop more subject matter expertise. My DS is 7 now and my career has gone from strength to strength. For me, changing roles was absolutely crucial and I enjoyed throwing myself into a new challenge.

Yes this has been the same for me too. Best thing I ever did.

I think finances are a big part of it too. We’re fairly stable as a household, but I’m earning around £2k a month less than I used to and I really feel like I’ve lost my financial independence.

I’ve also lost confidence from being out of the game for a while. I know I have the experience, but I don’t feel as confident in myself as I used to. It’s making me quite stressed and tearful at times, and I think that’s partly why I feel such a rush to get my career back.

I kind of just wanted to know if this feeling was normal, as currently I have an awful feeling that I’m letting myself and my son down