To feel trapped and frustrated living on one salary?

[ProfessorofDarkArts]

I’m mid 50s, divorced and currently signed off from work with stress. I’ve worked all my life, rarely had time off and have never claimed a penny but a series of difficult events combined with the menopause means I’ve found myself unable to cope like I usually would.

I’m now in a position where I desperately need a break/change but it’s just not possible because paying the bills and keeping a roof over my head is only just manageable on one salary. There’s no way I can see that I can reduce my hours, retrain or take any kind of a step back. Social media is full of women my age quitting the rat race to start over but you can guarantee they’ve got husbands or an inheritance to fund it.

I’m so sad and frustrated that I’ll be forced back into a job that’s making me unwell because I can’t live on SSP and have no alternative. I don’t want to spend the rest of my working life in that environment but it doesn’t feel as though I have a choice.

I understand your frustration OP.

My husband died very recently so therefore I now have to manage without his significant income.

I can just about manage on my wage but I'll really need to pull my belt in and will no longer be able to add to savings.

The only saving grace is I really love my job so I don't feel stressed when I'm there, but realistically I'm not going to be earning more in the near future.

Lots of us live alone. Can you look for a new job?

I’m divorced too in my fifties it’s hard on one wage. I would like to reduce my hours to part time but unfortunately that’s not possible. It does get me down. Just to say you are not alone.

Can you not move to a different job and company?

Welcome to the world of single people who never had or will have a partner and have had to manage on their own and had to make do with zero cushion or support from the government at all. Nor will there ever be a budget where you will benefit.

Better to quickly accept that fact and look at what you can do, move to another area, cheaper accommodation to fund retraining if that's what you wanr to do. Or look for a different job that isn't stressful.

Might sound harsh but it's a harsh world for single income people.

Of course I’m looking for another job but the job market is not great at the moment and my field is one that’s affected by AI 🙄

Sorry it sucks. Didn’t meet my husband until 36. Lived by myself for 10 years it was awful. It the single tax . I was like you desperate for a break and Desperate to retrain. Just not possible without a second income and some practical support with running a house.

sorry no practical advice but much solidarity.

Could you sell-up and move to a cheaper part of the country? Free up a bit of cash and get a new job?

Can you reduce outgoings by down sizing property, or moving further out to a cheaper area?

The other option is to start taking any private pension early and working less, or in a lower paid and lower stress role. This only works if your pension will stretch far enough.

Would you consider renting your spare room, whether permanently or a mon-fri let if you live in a suitable area. (Not suitable if you have children at home, I appreciate)
Government scheme means it's tax free

Completely get this. I’ve only managed because I’ve got UC for the children but next year it’ll end and it’ll just be my wage. I will just about manage but with no wriggle room and I’d like to change job too.

The single tax! Yes that’s exactly what it is 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well this is the life, most of us find ways to tolerate the job if we can't change it. Find other ways to manage the stress, not just stress at work but the weight of responsibility on your shoulders ro keep money coming in.

There will always be more money you will hand over to help families etc. So also be prepared to weather any increasing bills and taxes.

Only way out is to earn more.

Earn more? How daft of me not to have thought of that 🙄