To refuse to FaceTime?

[OhFucko]

I just hate it.

No, I don’t want to stop what I’m doing to stare into your face on a screen as we chat.
No, I don’t want all the vicinity to be subjected to our conversation, or faff on finding headphones.

Why does everyone seem to be obsessed with FaceTime!?

I just will not do it which some family members think is odd and unfriendly. I will happily phone chat for as long as they like, just not on FaceTime.

Same with WhatsApp video calls. For my relatives abroad it's fine as I don't get to see them often, but for people here, I want to be able to get on with doing stuff while I speak, so no need for video.

We FaceTime our son so everyone joins can join in the conversation. However, the phone is on the table, so we don’t actually see him, but just chat to him.

Oh I’m with you OP. I don’t FaceTime or WhatsApp video myself but my husband will do it to his Mum and Dad all the time and I hate it. It’s usually when we’re all doing something special like on holiday, Christmas Day, someone’s birthday etc and my husband will pan the phone round so they can see what we’re all doing. It feels really intrusive when I’m in my own space doing my own thing. What’s wrong with voice calls?

This is banned in my house, no video calls in public areas. My husband doesn’t do it luckily but the kids learned pretty fast and they hopefully now won’t do it in other peoples houses or public areas.
You’re right it is SO intrusive.

I’m the same. I also hate WhatsApp and all those sort of group chat things. Just won’t download the apps.

Depends really. YANBU to not like it – that’s a personal opinion. But I imagine some people find it much more engaging and enjoy looking at who they are talking to – and that connection can be very important and beneficial to people. For that reason, you have any friends or family that are vulnerable or at risk of vulnerability or loneliness, even I would make the effort with them.

And with some people the camera is close enough to see their nostril hairs. No thanks.

I love a video call, provided i have the time. I moved away from family and friends recently. I find a video call makes it seem like we are much closer geographically. Think it's best for all parties if they are scheduled

We do it as a bit of an ‘event’ in our house and do it very rarely (“everyone gather round, we’re FaceTiming Grandma now”) which I don’t mind as I have time to fix my hair etc as I know I’m being filmed. If a friend randomly FaceTimed me though I think I’d ignore the call!

Video calling ro me seems just all part of the necessity a lot of people have now for EVERYTHING having to be visual .

Personally I'm an audio person. I listen to the radio and watch very little TV . I ''ve got a really good capacity for recognising voices.
Similarly I love listening to music and don't need to watch the performers, although I do sometimes. And I don't feel the need to incessantly take photos or look at them.

So no I don't video call. I can use my imagination about who I 'm talking to.

It's your phone, so your choice. In just the same way that you don't have to answer it. Just like you don't have to answer the front door if somebody knocks.

So many people have a problem understanding this - just because others see it as "the norm" it doesn't mean you must comply. Your phone, your rules.

I'm not even happy with a phone call. I hate that phones have become the primary mode of communication. They're great if people live in another area but if someone is 5 minutes away I'd rather just talk in person. I've got a very busy life and the expectation that I'm always available by phone is stressful. I want to enjoy the moment and engage with the people in my presence, not switch off from them to manage a phone call.

I much prefer a video call to an actual call - I started them in the days of MSN and Skype when I studied abroad and now use FaceTime pretty regularly to talk to my parents.

We live over three hours away from my parents. They love video calls so they can see our young child - the feeling is reciprocated! It’s nice for them to see each other’s faces. We audio call too.

If your family aren’t listening to you, just turn your camera off.

I FaceTime DP and my mum all the time! We don’t just sit and stare into the screens at each other. Someone’s usually doing something but living alone it’s nice to see their faces, especially mid week. My sister is travelling atm and I haven’t seen her since the start of July and won’t see her til end of September. I FaceTime her.

otherwise, people can just text me. Or voice call me. I only do FT with people I’m very close with.

I love a video call!! I love being able to see the person I’m talking to! I’ll just prop it ip
on the kitchen window sill and carry on with whatever I’m doing if I’m busy

For me, I go further, I prefer the written word to verbal. Far prefer to text/email than speak, whether friends, family or business. I utterly detest visual, as I feel it far too intrusive. Verbal I can cope with if necessary, but like I say, text or email works better for me as it gives me time and space to properly think and compose a comment/reply. I've never been good with " immediacy" which is what is required verbally and visually, and causes me anxiety and stress as I feel I have to "perform".