highly likely autism diagnosis

[motherofakoalaboy]

i am just wanting a hand hold as i am going through so many emotions right now. koala boy turned two in april and we just had our 27 month health review. while filling in the form it was a shock in a lot of things how far behind he was. he scored a 135 which is way above the cut off where we would get support

in a lot of things he is very bright. he is brilliant at pattern recognition, labelling, knows the alphabet by name and phonetically, he can count up to 20, knows his animals, numbers, colours, shapes and fruits in english and mandarin. he is so bright and has a incredible memory

at the same time he struggles with emotional regulation, social language, has only this week started saying “i want x” after a lot a lot of coaching so he is evidently not picking up language intuitively and needs to be coached the phrases like “daddy/mummy up” etc. he is delayed in a lot of movements not because he can’t do it but i suspect sensory related that he needs a lot longer to build the confidence to do it.

then again we have had improvements and he is always progressing. this week he started to develop again so much. he asked for yogurt without seeing it and today apple. he does still get grumpy at times and frustrated when we try to expand “apple” to “daddy/mummy want apple please” but he is consistently showing progress. this week at soft play we had the best session yet. he actually climbed, he lasted for 90 minutes there, he did not have a absolute meltdown when dh told him “no” correcting him when he tried to take a toy off another boy. even last week ago we would have had to leave the soft play right away the meltdown would have been that bad. when i got us a cheese dip snack to he did something he never did before where he intentionally fed me a bread stick dipped in cheese. i thought he was just wanting to make a mess again (he does not eat dips and sauces and usually just draws on the table with it) but no he looked at me holding out the bread stick intentionally feeding me. he put the baby doll into the rocker. he did not play with it but he did at least say “baby bed” knowing this is where it goes which is again such a massive step for him.

i have friends on the spectrum who other then being a bit eccentric seem highly functional so in my mind had that image in mind and that bubble was very much burst by dh today being realistic. he pointed out the fact the signs are so strong this early on is a sign that while not on the severe end of the spectrum it is strong enough in him to be evident at a early age and the level 1 or high functioning level 2 would usually typically be diagnosed at a later age even adulthood. i have been absolutely breaking down into tears tonight as i have been in such complete denial i think.

problem is dh is suffering from anxiety right now too so in his mind can only picture the worst case scenario. i was hoping maybe to see if some people on here had their toddler diagnosed at two and what it is like for them now

Great point. I only realised my DH is autistic in the last couple of years. He’s now waiting for adult diagnosis.

God, yes, the catastrophising! DH also "definitely has cancer" at every lump, bump and niggle, is "definitely going to lose his job" because the company "is on the verge of collapse", and thinks he is the only realistic one because he's taking the gloomiest view.

None of these things has happened yet.

i do heavily suspect i am on the spectrum. both my friends who are on the spectrum suspect it. i am not sure if husband but it is possible as we are very similar in some ways where we can both be socially a bit more on the awkward side.

I'm going to be really blunt. You're thinking too much about his development and if you don't have a second child because of this, you will regret it.

He's 2 and he's walking and talking. You've hit the jackpot. Stop trying to get him as advanced as he can be. Let him enjoy being 2. Enjoy him being 2.

thank you for all the encouraging replies on here i appreciate everyone one of them. i am due to go for a beauty appointment this morning but not sure i can muster myself up to it. dh thinks maybe getting me out and giving me a break from him will help my head

It sounds like you have a wonderful little boy who can do so many fantastic things, he is progressing in many areas but is struggling in a few. You suspect autism. It is not the end of the world. He is still your wonderful little boy. Do not look on this as something that is awful, terrible, and something that stops you having more children. Also, the autism spectrum is not a straight line where children are either at one end or the other. It is more helpful to imagine it like a circle, divided up where children have strengths and weaknesses in different sections.

You need to adjust your expectations of the child you though you were having versus the child you have, but he is still going to be brilliant!!

Is the child bilingual?

asd tends to go with very poor sleep (extremely bad).
sensory issues with food so limited diet.

boys do tend to speak later.
older kids the autism assessment is about social communication, fixed interests etc sensory issues, routine

I'm not an expert on autism at all but he sounds very normal, perhaps even quite advanced for 2 years to me? Both my children had horrendous meltdowns at 2 years old (and 3 and 4 and even beyond) and my son did not really speak much at all until 3. He receives his GCSEs today. I sometimes consider he may have some autistic traits bit no-one at school or elsewhere ever mentioned it. Obviously, it seems sensible to investigate if you are concerned but I wouldn't worry yet, perhaps a health visitor or doctor/psychologist could help to discuss milestones etc?

I wonder about this thread.

When my daughter was just under 3 she was diagnosed with global developmental delay after showing severe developmental delays. She was non verbal, having started to speak around 12 months and then stoppping. I was told to expect her never to speak and never to get out of nappies. I was understandably devastated but thought the diagnosis was wrong as it was based on tests that she just wouldn't interact with.

I continued to question this diagnosis and at 3 years 9 months she was diagnosed with autism. She was still totally non verbal at 4 and then with the right speech therapist started to speak. By 5 her language was good enough that she started mainstream school. By secondary school she was passing all her (Scottish exam system exams) with straight As. She went to Edinburgh University and did a Bsc, followed by a Masters.

She is now 30, works in a University lab and recently got married, having bought her own home a few years back. It has been far from plain sailing for her and she had a bit of low grade bullying at school and some resulting social anxiety and depression but she is a lovely, kind person, with a wicked sense of humour and a real love of the natural world. I could not be more proud of her and everything she has achieved against all early expectations.

I still remember the devastation I felt at that first GDD diagnosis. I can't say how things will pan out for your son, but I hope my DD's diagnose gives you some hope.

what is it that you are wondering

that is so wonderful to hear

He hasn't even been assessed yet, he might not be autistic. The meltdowns could be due to frustration from his communication difficulties and may reduce when he further develops his communication skills. Don't let worry for a maybe consume you. As you said, your sons been making progress so just keep doing what you've been doing whilst you wait for the professionals to assess him. My friends little girl scored in on the 2 year questionnaire and was assessed at the child development centre, she just need physio and speech and language therapy. There was no diagnosis of autism or any other disability.

Yep. Here we go again.

Don’t panic.

That was my ds at that age. He was born abroad so missed all those HV checks but we knew he showed signs from 15 months.

He was referred and diagnosed at 8 at level 1.

His language was no way as good as your DS at that age. He had 5 words!

DS was less verbal than that around the same age. He'd make his point in single words.

It took a while to realise that things like huge tantrums over getting dressed were sensory meltdowns. When he could articulate preferences better, that got much easier.

He was accepted for SALT at 3. We went to the GP at 7 and he was diagnosed at 9. He's a bright, articulate (slightly formal) teenager who needs a lot of down time but is otherwise doing well.

All children have their strengths and difficulties and things to love about them.

reading through all these replies. thank you for all the encouraging posts. i think right now i need to really focus on all of the positives and try get through every day not knowing for certain

I agree totally!

@motherofakoalaboy your DS sounds very much like my DD at the same age. However, she was born in 1994 and nothing whatsoever was flagged either before she started school or after. To me her behaviours were just 'her', part of who she was, but no professional, at any time, considered the possibility of autism. She struggled massively at school and was under CAHMS at one point. Nobody ever mentioned autism.

It wasn't until she was 28 that she got her formal diagnosis. Her life is actually better knowing the reason for certain things - and I'll add that mine is too; turns out the reason I never thought anything was 'wrong' with her is because I'm very likely autistic too. Bloody obvious with hindsight!

Although, because of her struggles at school, she didn't get any GCSEs, she did go to college and retook maths and English and gained a music diploma. After her course finished she was employed at her college as a Learning Support Assistant, went on to work in a support role for adults with learning disabilities and now runs her own successful business. She's also a talented musician, photographer and film maker with her own YouTube channel.

What I'm trying to say, in a somewhat roundabout way, is to try to think of an early diagnosis as a positive. If your son is autistic then it'll have been picked up early and whatever support he may need can be put in place going forward. My DD never had that and if she had then her life, especially her education, would have been a lot different. She's still done incredibly well and I couldn't be more proud of the things she's achieved but I can't help feeling that the 'system' and maybe less awareness than there is now let us down back in the 90s.

that is absolutely incredible how well she has done. i keep thinking how much easier school could have been had i had the right support for my struggles and dyslexia.

spoken to my two best friends which has been a massive help hearing their honest opinion from what i shared about ds. it helped to stop my mind from spiralling the way it did and got me back into a positive mindset also reminding me that the most important thing is how happy ds is.

It wasn't picked up at first because his "brightness" hugely outshone the delays, his speech was really hard to understand but was hyperlexic, couldn't jump with feet off the floor but could recognise numbers up to 200, looking back all the signs were really obvious. Once he started school he automatically got classed as a "high achiever" and school refused to help with a diagnosis unless he "became a problem".

i am so sorry it was not spotted and am absolutely thrilled how well he still did. i think after talking to family and my friends both dh and i are in a much healthier mindset now realising that this does not change ds and he is still our bright happy boy who just sees the world differently