To ask why I feel like this about childbirth scenes on tv?!

[Greebanana]

I feel so awkward about this but whenever childbirth scenes are on tv I automatically feel embarrassed (even if nobody is there with me!) and I feel like maybe it’s because I feel there’s some sort of sexual element to it? To be ABSOLUTELY clear I have zero sexual feelings about it but the way it takes over the body makes me feel embarrassed. I hate hate hate that I feel like this and it’s taken me a while to work out these feelings and I feel almost concerned that I feel like this? Similarly I would be absolutely mortified if either parent was to see me in labour even in very early stages and I don’t know why that is as lots of my friends have had parents drive them to hospital or be with them for the first part of labour. I guess I wonder if anyone else feels this way and can shed any light on why I have this, I guess you’d call it dysfunctional, perspective on it all. I’m 40 and have one dc but I had them via c section (elected)

Well you can either not worry about it, or seek psychotherapy to explore why you feel that way, I guess. Nothing reasonable or unreasonable about it really.

@napody i just want to understand it and wonder if it is a common reaction

I would have felt mortified if a parent had seen me in labour! One picked up my older kids during my last labour and I hid upstairs contracting.

I felt embarrassed even in front of the midwives until i was very far gone.

I don't feel like that about tv labours- normally just a bit miffed they're all very much the same- waters gushing, rushing around contractions last 2 mins, lie down on your back, big push and baby out.

No, it’s not common to think that there is a sexual element to childbirth.

I don't like birth scenes in the way I don't like sex scenes.
It's obviously people acting and for me it just jars.
No matter how engrossed I may be in the story, some acting just throws me back into reality and I'm just conscious of people pretending and it makes me uncomfortable.

Just realised, you might not have been talking about drama. If so, disregard the above.

What winds me up the most is how they are all lying on their backs in bed which is a terrible position!

Don’t think I’ve ever considered there to be anything sexual with labour. It’s not even slightly sexy. Do you think it’s because it’s proof you’ve had sex?

My mum saw me having early contractions with my first two but not full blown labour. I think she would have annoyed me with her questions and fussing if she’d been there for the active labour part.

So glad im not the only one to have hated my parents seeing me in labour!

@BeingATwatItsABingThing that’s a good point it could be that it’s an outcome of sex

I think I may have an idea what you are feeling op, but I would say it's because it makes you feel vulnerable and it's such a visceral, intimate and private experience and so is like sex in those terms.

A lot of people feel uncomfortable about it, and until fairly recently, they didn't show much on TV (surely very little compared to a real birth even now) and people didn't generally talk about it much in normal life.
Unless you're due to give birth and are afraid to discuss things with a midwife, don't worry about it.
Most people I know didn't want parents around as they were giving birth, most just wanted their partner. Not weird. At our hospital you're allowed 2 people with you for natural births, only one for sections, and the midwives say the vast majority just have their partner. So you're actually quite normal, not that someone who wants a parent is wrong, especially if their partner's not with them anymore, of course.

@happysunr1se yes that’s it I think, it’s the vulnerability. I actually have issues with vulnerability generally so this makes total sense. Thank you!

Could it be because there were childbirth scenes on TV when you were little and it was a bit scary and shocking for you then? Seeing something so private, grown up and elemental whilst sitting on the sofa with your parents embarrassed you then and you've held onto that feeling somewhere in your subconscious?

It's a very primal thing isn't it. Like sex is.