AIBU to consider moving from London to Kent with children?

[DinoDuvet]

Thinking of moving from London to Kent. Currently just a thought process kids are 14, 12 and 4, my question is had anyone done similar and it's gone completely tits up or conversely was it the best thing ever? Really feel like life needs to be flipped. I've lived in London forever and wanted to be out of here for many many years.

To this northerner you just said ‘AIBU to move from London to London’

I do know the difference really, and sorry I don’t have advice but this just made me laugh.

Where in Kent? Might be a bit of a culture shock for the eldest two. Their independence will be limited by the absymal.public transport. Schooling good for the academic child but non grammar school options can be mediocre.

London docklands Kent or leafy green Kent? There's quite a difference.

Also from where in London W1, SE15 etc. Again, the difference is vast.

moving a 14 year old might be tricky exam wise?

What problem are you trying to fix?

You are proposing disrupting the friendship networks of two secondary-age children when these are absolutely key to them; dislocating one child from all they know as they head into GCSE preparation, changing their entire routine; extracting yourself from your own friendship circles and human relationships. It is basically starting from scratch. Only your 4-year-old will not be affected.

It better be a pretty big problem to consider introducing all of that turbulence into the majority of your family's lives.

I say go for it but you may well find your older children don't share your enthusiasm. Friendship groups, clubs, and other activities may have to be sacrificed.
We moved from London to Northamptonshire but that was just before our first child was born and have never regretted it for a moment. It was a long while ago but we are still in the same house, our kids had great childhoods, and everything was way less pressurised. We've been back many times but are always glad to get home.

Don’t do it. It’s not fair on the older two. They are past the stage where moving wouldn’t disrupt their education.

Also, they will have better opportunities in London I would think!

My parents wanted to move to Dorset when I was 16. I thought it was the end of the world. They were going to buy a gorgeous house in Poole but I didn’t want to leave South East London. In the end the whole thing collapsed during the summer and we stayed put. A bit more drastic than London to Kent but I loved and still love London and didn’t want to go. Bear in mind a lot of Kent votes Reform so the councils are in total chaos.

The time to do it was when your kids were younger. Why didn’t you do it then if you have wanted out for many years?

I did just this when DS was 12. It was the best thing ever, but then I grew up in Kent so new where I was moving to.

Absolutely this, not fair on the older ones unless they hate school and want to move.

Really depends on where in Kent and where in London you would be moving from.

We currently live in South east London, towards Kent and to be honest I wouldn't want to move out any further than I am, obviously it depends on your reasoning.

We have family spread out across Kent and some places are lovely but others are really not my cup of tea. You need to consider how different it might be. There are large areas of reform supporters and on our last visit to MIL we saw a group dressed in flags protesting in her tiny villiage. Personally I couldn't live somewhere like that. Public transport is also less frequent and more expensive than in a tfl zone.

....absymal.public transport.

Depends where you are. Parts of Kent are very rural with public transport to match, but other areas, while not up to London standards, have good bus and rail connections.

If you move somewhere with fast trains to Victoria, or HS1, you can be in London very quickly.

Or you can go to East Kent and be further from London but have the coast.

We have family in Kent were thinking Rochester or aylesford currently, I'd think though logistics and make sure it could be as smooth as possible but was wondering if anyone had an experience they could share

Kent is pretty big and quite varied. There's a world of difference between a big town like Maidstone or Ashford and a small village in the Weald, and between (eg) Chatham and Sevenoaks.

My SIL and BIL moved from outer London to Tunbridge Wells years ago and wouldn't move back for any money. They moved when their child was still in primary though, and they got a place in a grammar school (which was lucky, as that was part of their reason for moving). They've moved to a village now, and really love it.

One huge thing to consider, which will impact your older children, is that you will have to drive them everywhere, and they'll have no independence as they would have in London, using public transport. Being able to get around on their own was a real source of pride for DD, mastering the tube and bus routes, and giving directions to tourists. It also forces them to be street smart and aware, which is no bad thing. Also, for your oldest, there's just much more to do in London.

Kent is a lovely place, and I think it's fantastic for young children or for people who don't have to commute every day, but for teenagers there is, imo, real downsides.

But good luck to you.

thinking Rochester or aylesford currently,

Rochester rather than Aylesford. Rochester has good direct rail connections with London and coast. Local bus services also quite good.

Aylesford has limited public transport and amenities.

One huge thing to consider, which will impact your older children, is that you will have to drive them everywhere,

That will depend on where op moves to.

Some good points regarding reform and the teens getting about we're in Hackney and I'm over it. I didn't move when they were younger as life threw us a few ugly obstacles that kept us here

If your 14 yo is starting Yr 10 there is no 'smooth'. You will wreck their GCSE years if you move midway. Different exam board, different curriculum, different schools using different pace . order, plus the disruption.

Wait til your 12 yo finishes GCSEs and is moving into 6th Form. If your kids' education is important to you.

Totally agree with this.

I currently live in / near Kent (technically at least) and honestly this is my response too! I just see it all as London (without tubes 😆😆)!

The Medway towns are pretty run down in parts, so you need to think carefully about where you hope to live.

No problem with the move in general (I'd be considering PP's points about transport and opportunities when choosing whereabouts to move to) but the kids' ages make it potentially difficult. It could be tough for the 14yo - they are just about to start Y10 and GCSE options. It would be hard moving once Y10 is underway because of different exam boards.

You could make it work if you really wanted to - but I would do it asap. Do you think the older two would be on board? Is there anything about the move that would benefit them (own bedroom, close to cousins they get on with)?

Rochester and Canterbury are nice enough but the rest of Medway is awful- avoid.

Would your children get in to grammar schools? Don’t move if they won’t get in.

The Weald and other rural areas are beautiful, but check the commute and be aware your DC may be reluctant to move out of London at their ages.

Would further south in to Bromley work? Still some semi rural parts but technically still London.