To be really peeved with local jewellers?

[adotburr]

I have a ring that has great sentimental value as it was a gift from my now deceased father.

He gifted it to me when I was a teenager and I’m now in my 30s, so I have changed a lot. It’s not worth much (just silver) but has huge sentimental value.

I went in to a local jewellers and explained that whilst I could turn the ring quite freely, I could no longer get it over my knuckles. This was not a sudden change, just as my body has changed and I no longer have slender teen fingers! I was concerned that if it ever needed to be removed for some reason I’d have to ruin it, so wanted to know if I had options.

The lady I spoke to said she would recommend cutting off the ring and then having it repaired and resized. On her recommendation, I went ahead with this. She assured me prior to the cutting that it could 100% be fixed and would be fine. She cut it off and advised to go back in 2 weeks to ensure that my finger definitely wasn’t swollen.

I went back, and was first told the repair couldn’t be done. It was only when I argued against this based on previous advice that another person came and corrected the infila colleague and measured my finger and sent the ring off for repair.

It came back good as new and perfect.

Except after 6 weeks it snapped right at the repair site.

I took it back to the jewellers and said I wasn’t bothered how much it cost but I wanted it fixing due to the sentimentality. They again said it couldn’t be done but then said actually it could. It was sent off and repaired and again came back fine.

Except now it has broken again in the exact same spot.

I am first of all distraught, this is the piece of my father that I carry with me everywhere. It feels like my tie to him and it is truly my most treasured possession. The idea of it being broken or irreparable or that I may not be able to wear it every day really upsets me.

I am secondly really annoyed. I didn’t strictly need it cutting off - it was certainly not disrupting blood flow etc. it was only on the recommendation and assurance of the jewellers that I did this. I’m so annoyed that I trusted them and that I did anything at all.

I’m going to take it again and ask that it is repaired again and possibly restrengthened (if that is an option) but I’m not sure what they will say.

AIBU to be quite annoyed about all this?

Thanks for the photo. The problem with silver is that in order to solder it it needs to be fairly consistently hot all over (gold can be soldered by getting it hot just near the solder). This is to do with the conductivity of the metal.
The stone is your ring cannot tolerate any heat at all or it will break.
Your best bet is to find a jeweller with a laser welder, because that will not affect the stone.
Alternatively, a jeweller can take out the stone to do the repair and then reset it.
I cannot stress enough to you that your ring is not very strong, a silver setting like that is not designed to last a lifetime. I would find a jeweller that you trust and take it in annually for a service. They can clean it and check it over for any repairs that need doing before you lose the gemstone.

Thank you for the advice. I know it definitely needs some tlc and that it isn’t designed to have lasted as long as I have had it. I did consider trying to purchase a replica and then keeping this one safe but it doesn’t feel the same somehow. I’d be fine with them taking it apart etc in order to repair it, the place I’ve been before hasn’t suggested this. I’m just really annoyed with myself for agreeing for it to be cut off as I feel like I’ve created all these problems myself

I think it was the right thing to do - having a ring you can't take on and off is a danger. If you had an accident or injury it would have to be cut off in haste and might be irrevocably damaged or even lost if you'd been in a serious accident and everything was chaotic. Plus, you can't remove it if you're doing something that might damage the stone, e.g. cleaning - glass stones are prone to chipping, breaking and scratching.

The stone in a ring with a plain shank like yours is the continuity part, not the shank - how many famous diamonds have been reset again and again throughout history? It can be set in a new shank if needed. A ring with a plain shank isn't like Trigger's broom that had 17 new heads and 14 new handles, you have the stone, the essence of the ring, reset if needed.

It's a lovely ring Op, sure you can get it sorted.

Thank you for these kind words. My dad was a big Only Fools fan so seems like a weird sign that you happened to reference that! I agree that a new shank may be the best thing to do to preserve things, thank you

You need to go to another jewellers. My engagement ring was too big so was cut and resoldered to be resized and hasn’t broken after 4 years!

I'd demand a refund for their botch up and go elsewhere.

For everyone saying don't take it back to the same place, you do realise that there are very few people doing jewelry repairs etc., so many shops will use the same people to do it, most won't be doing it "in house" themselves. So even if you take it to a different jewellers the chances are that they'll send it to the same people to repair it!!

Is it worth pointing out to the next jeweller that you do fiddle with it a lot and so it needs a really strong fix? I hope you get it sorted.

Oh, how lovely! My husband and I are huge fans, we quote OFAH all the time - your dad must have had a smashing sense of humour!

Silver doesn't laser well. A traditional solder repair might be better.

You've given them the chance to repair it and they've failed. Now get it done elsewhere and claim against them for the cost. There is plenty on the net about botched jewellery repairs and your rights.

Try and find a jeweller with a bench jeweller onsite. There are still some around. Don't be taken in by "we use a "Hatton Garden" jeweller", there are some really shoddy repairers working there.

And I've just seen your photo.

If I was doing this repair (and with it's history off failing) I would probably just replace the shank completely

That remind me of when I had a ring that I loved made larger and the jeweller stretched it. It looked terrible. I took it somewhere else and had a piece inserted into the shank. Now it looks like it always did - has a proper thick shank, instead of the thin, stretched-out mess I got the first time.

OP, it sounds as if you need to have a piece inserted into the shank. PLEASE don't go back to this jeweller. They're talking rubbish about the heat. Take it somewhere else, even if you have to travel.

OP, I've read more of your posts. Given your emotional attachment to this ring, if I were you I would just keep it in a ring box at home and use it as a kind of talisman to hold sometimes. And you would know it's there, sending you comforting vibes. It's very, very important to you, and imagine how you'd feel if you lost it.

I completely understand your suggestion but this is the exact thing I want to avoid. Having to keep it stored at home is the same as not having it to me. I have lots of his things at home that I look at sometimes, but this is what I carry always, so it’s really important that I can still do that (even if it needs to be re-set or placed onto a necklace etc)

Have you any other silver jewellery you could ‘sacrifice’, so that some really good silversmith might recreate your fragile ring with a stouter band using the blended silver?

When my mother died in England, what little jewellery she had (including her ‘post-War scarcity’ wedding ring) was missing from her meagre possessions in her care home, but she still had a silver BVM pendant bought yonks ago at Lourdes. I just craved some small, wearable memento to bring back with me to Ireland, along with her ashes.
A Miraculous Medal was not my scene in terms of jewellery, but at the time, I had lying around a very small circular pendant meaningful to me, but I rarely wore it, not really loving necklaces, and I had a brainwave.
Bung it all in together and make a new silver ring using my circular pendant as the ring’s feature (not sure what to call it: the part played by a gemstone etc!) and Mum’s melted down medal to make a silver band onto which it’d be soldered.
It worked like a dream, and the ring gives me very great pleasure still. Pretty inexpensive too, and the young jeweller told me he enjoyed the challenge.

(Only a silversmith/independent jeweller would undertake this I think, certainly not Ratner’s or H Samuel et al.)