Uncle has a brain tumour

28 replies

OneBlueFinch · 16/08/2026 11:39

My uncle who is in his early 80’s has a brain tumour. He’s had it for around 6 months, only diagnosed with an actual tumour 2 weeks ago. He lives with my Aunt (my late Dads sister) and their adult daughter. (My cousin )
Unfortunately he’s had this lump on the side of his head for at least 6 months. I’d had no idea how large it was until my cousin sent me a photo.
I was so shocked that they let this lump grow for months without them taking him to the doctors. When I asked my cousins why (the elder one lives with her husband ) they said my uncle refused to go to the GP.
This lump now is the size of a large grapefruit I’d say.
He’s now on the 14 day pathway (not surprisingly) to determine whether it’s benign or malignant .
I just feel totally shocked that both my cousins didn’t see fit to call the doctors to tell them about the speed of growth of this.
Now my cousins acting odd when I text her to check on the wellbeing of my uncle.
AIBU for wanting to intervene with the hospital /GP to push for a more urgent appointment?

OP posts:

seventeenofsumday · 16/08/2026 20:47

This sounds like a skin cancer or something not a brain tumour, do u think your cousin has misunderstood the diagnosis or soenthing??

Original poster

OneBlueFinch · 17/08/2026 18:05

Arlanymor · 16/08/2026 18:33

Brain tumours don't create lesions outside of the skull, it's impossible. If he's seeing a neurologist then, yes, it sounds brain function related, but that description of a brain tumour is absolutely incorrect from what you've said. If he has capacity then as an adult no one can make him do anything. You sound really critical of your cousins and that's probably why they are disengaging from you. It's very easy to flap about from the sidelines - but it's their dad and surely they are doing everything they can to do the best for him, while navigating his wishes and advancing age. Have you offered to help at all? Presumably yes, but you don't mention this at all, hence why I ask. When my aunt was diagnosed with incurable spine cancer I asked my cousin what I could do - not why he hadn't spotted it/made her go to the doctor sooner.

Edited

I absolutely have asked if I can help .

OP posts:

Vaxtable · 17/08/2026 18:11

YABU. Really it’s nothing to do with you and you can’t force people to see GPs. My late mother was the same, you could not force her and if she did go the first thing she said was I don’t want to be here my daughters made me come

That’s just how some people are

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