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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not thank our cleaner?

33 replies

NorthEastNancy · 16/08/2026 11:35

Our cleaner comes once a fortnight. She's OK - not amazing but saves the rows in our house about cleaning so worth it!

She posts on social media a lot - I've no objections to this at all, but I've noticed that her other clients seem to thank her via socials every time she does their house. They like all the photos, share them and say how grateful they are etc. I've never done this!

I found her via a friend, our mutual friend dropped my keys off and I pay her online. I've never met her - think my husband might have crossed paths once or twice if he's popped home when she's been here.

I like the anonymous relationship - I'm busy and think of the whole thing as just transactional. I was chatting about this with a friend who thinks i should thank her every time!

OP posts:
NorthEastNancy · 16/08/2026 12:53

Sorry - she did ask! She doesn't tag me so it's just an anonymous house really!

OP posts:
SinisterGreenMan · 16/08/2026 14:15

NorthEastNancy · 16/08/2026 12:13

No - literally never met her. She was recommended by a friend who passed on my keys. She sent over her insurance documents etc and I pay online.

I just said "clean as if you live in the house" and I knew from her previous posts what she covers in a general clean.

Does she thank you each time you pay?

Whatifitallgoesright · 16/08/2026 14:21

As an ex-cleaner, your being out of the house is thanks enough!

NorthEastNancy · 16/08/2026 14:46

SinisterGreenMan · 16/08/2026 14:15

Does she thank you each time you pay?

No - she's never acknowledged me paying. Don't get me wrong, she's not being arsey that I'm not thanking her- was just wondering based on what I've seen others do for her!

OP posts:
MsGreying · 16/08/2026 15:30

Those saying you should say thank you in person should remind your bosses of that at the end of the working day.

Catza · 16/08/2026 15:53

I don't live my life on social media so it wouldn't even cross my mind to go and post a public thank you every time someone provides a service. Where does it end? Do I post on Morrison's SM page every time they deliver a food shop? Do I seek out the waiter who served us yesterday? Do I post a thank you to my gym receptionist every time I leave the pool?
That would be mad..

Victorius19 · 18/08/2026 11:06

I rarely ever see my cleaner, I leave a key for her as she comes when I'm at work. But I pay her by bank transfer the same day without fail, and I've put thanks next to my name as the payment reference. I give her a generous tip at Christmas and give her a nice box of chocolates for her family.

likeitshard · 18/08/2026 11:11

My dog walker does similar. If I see it I will share the post or like it

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