AIBU daughters birthday

[Wfordwife]

Go easy on me on this as I'm not in the best headspace at the moment. So its my DD 13th bday and had invited my family and the inlaws down on Sat afternoon for tea and cake. My family live 5 mins drive, inlaws around 40 mins. Now my MIL has cancelled as she is taking antibiotics and my SIL has also cancelled as she's had a better offer. We don't meet up apart from Christmas really these days. AIBU to annoyed and disappointed with them? I know everyone is busy but they make no effort. Not sure why I bother to be honest.

Mil no she's ill and potentially has the shits! Sil... fuck em, don't buy them/there kids any birthday presents and if asked "well we had a better idea...we kept them"

I’m more surprised your dd wants a family party. At 13 both my kids wanted to do things with their friends

I don't think you can blame your MIL, if she needs antibiotics she must be feeling pretty rubbish. However your SIL is rude.

I appreciate you're disappointed but realistically does you daughter want family over for cake or would she rather be doing something with some of her friends. I would invite a few of them over for the afternoon instead.

Mine did both. Nothing wrong with a family get together.

Surely with MIL it’s whatever she’s unwell with that has caused them to prescribed or side effects from the antibiotics e.g. it’s well known that they can cause a bad stomach. And then maybe SIL doesn’t want to come without MIL as then it’ll just be your family. IDK that I’d care that much tbh, I bet your 13YO doesn’t when it’s an aunt and grandma she rarely sees. Bigger picture it’s a bit shit that they’re only 40 mins away and you only meet up for Christmas but I wouldn’t be bothered about this one specific event in particular.

I’d just enjoy having a get together with your family. Your daughter will see who she’s important to!
I don’t get on well with antibiotics so I take those actimel drinky yoghurts with them which prevents the usual upset stomach they cause me. SIL is just a wet fart! How rude cancelling cause she’s had a better offer!

Maybe they’re doing both? My DD turned 13 last year. She had a day at Alton towers followed by a sleepover with her friends at the weekend, and we had family around for a bbq and cake etc on her actual birthday.

That’s crap but honestly if you only see them at Christmas then it’s not a close relationship anyway, and your dd won’t really feel the loss.
It’s also so hot that I have not left the aircon these few days except the evenings when the kids wanted to go for a walk.
even my kids felt miserable. I imagine that the heat may have not made them want to travel as well even though it’s a short trip. I’m sure dd will have a lovely party though

YANBU at all, my MIL lives 1.5h away and came for my DCs 2nd birthday that he won’t remember. Your DD is 13 ffs.

Sorry she has her friends over for a party too. Family party was always separate as she definitely doesn't want to split her time between friends and family at the same time

You can do both.

Maybe the OP’s DD is celebrating with her friends on another day. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, surely ? Anyway, that’s not the point of the thread.

The fact mil is on antibiotics shouldnt stop her from coming

personally I would stop inviting them and leave everything to do with them to your partner

So MIL has a sinus infection and as I suffer from them myself I know what they are like. Not too bad once antibs kick in and it'll be at least day 3 as party isn't until Sat and she text today. But anyone, thanks for the feedback. I am trying to keep some sort of relationship with my kids and the inlaws but guess its not working. All one sided.

It's possible to do both.

MIL no (depending what's wrong with you, or if antibiotics make you sick/need the toilet, it could well be the right thing).
SIL rude.