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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel unsympathetic when DH complains but chooses overtime?

2 replies

BugOnARugDrinkingTeaFromAMug · 13/08/2026 09:54

DH works in a very physical job. Each week his shifts are different but he gets two rest days every week and a mix of early, late and main shifts.

Every week he does optional over time on at least one of his rest days and extends any early or late shifts so instead of them being 6.5 hours, they become 12 hour shifts. Overtime is definitely not compulsory or expected.

He doesn't need the money, he has two full years pre tax salary saved, he has no mortgage and he has just bought a car outright with money he had saved (additional to his ISA savings) His take home pay without over time would be approx £2100 and his contribution to bills and food for the household is £550. He really does not need to do overtime financially.

So he keeps complaining how tired he is and his knees are sore..... AIBU to have pretty much no sympathy for him. If he is so tired and sore, stop signing up for over time. When I suggest this he says he will but he needs the money. He doesn't!!!

Yes you are being unreasonable, your husband is in pain, where is your heart.

No you are not being unreasonable, he should take his rest days.

OP posts:
2026letsgo · 13/08/2026 10:00

Of course he doesn’t.
What does he do on his days off? Maybe he’s lacking purpose.

I’d get him to look for new work that pays more. Get him revitalised.

BugOnARugDrinkingTeaFromAMug · 13/08/2026 10:07

He wouldn't consider looking for alternatives.

He doesn't have much in the way of hobbies, he will go to the gym on his days off but that's about it. Maybe he needs more hobbies to fill up his time outside of work.

OP posts:
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