AIBU to think my ill colleague is being bullied at work?

[SomePeopleAreSoStupid]

Posting here for traffic.

I work in a large organisation. One of my colleagues has a life threatening illness, and is just about to undergo treatment. Up until now they have been off a bit here and there, and obviously not been as productive as they usually are.

One of the managers we work with has treated this person awfully. They constantly nit pick their work, ask them to do tasks that they clearly cannot physically do at the moment and are openly rude to them in front of us. Many of us have noticed and are actually appalled at the way this person is being treated. The person is trying to keep calm and carry on through their diagnosis and have a great work effort so are showing up to work and getting on with it as best they can.

A couple of my colleagues have told higher management about their concerns but nothing seems to have been done. We are worried that the additional stress is going to have a very negative effect on our colleague.

What I am asking here is - is this bullying at work? Also, surely if you are ill then there are laws protecting your position and what you do at work for a while?
I think the manager is being a bit of an idiot TBH. All the staff have noticed and there are lots of witnesses to their behaviour.

I would like to do something about this myself, but not sure what? My moral compass is doing speed laps about this.

Depending on the type of illness and/or its effects / expected duration, I'd say there's more than a fair chance this is disability discrimination / harassment.

Honestly this is appalling and I would raise the concern formally to HR, in writing. Keep a note of times and dates. Will your colleagues back you up?

Don’t report it to HR unless your ill colleague wants this. Given that they will be feeling extremely vulnerable at the moment they may well not want to be the catalyst for a bullying investigation- and in fact might even deny it, which would leave you in n awkward position.

Can you all let the colleague know you've noticed the behaviour and are supporting them? I've been bullied at work and this would have meant the world to me. They may not want the disruption of a formal complaint, and the fact that things have been reported to senior management already and not acted on doesn't bode well.

Please note down anything you notice, including times and dates, who witnessed it etc and encourage other colleagues to do the same.

If she does decide later that she wants to raise a grievance then that will be very helpful.

I don't think my colleague wants any fuss as they have enough on their plate showing up and doing their job to the best of their ability and want the distraction of their upcoming treatment.

Other colleagues have voiced their disgust. I am yet to do it. I wanted my facts straight before I did anything.

I just think the manager is a stupid idiot, hence my user name. They must be extremely thick to bully a very sick person, and do it in front of others. Have they never heard of an employment tribunal?

It has also left a very bitter taste in all our mouths that we are just a number to them, and if you got really ill, there would be no compassion!

I think it’s lovely that you care so much for your colleague. Two practical things you can do:

Firstly, as a pp said, let them know they have your support, that you see what is going on and agree it’s wrong, and should they ever in the future want to take up a complaint, you will support them.

Secondly, start documenting every incident you personally have witnessed, objectively and with date and time information, e.g ‘12/8/26 - 10.35 am warehouse aisle 3. Manager used the phrase ‘Get on with it, stop being so lazy’ and directed unwell colleague to unload six pallets of bottled water. colleague x and colleague y were present.’

If your unwell colleague decides to submit a complaint later, you will have the evidence to back her up.

Oh, and thirdly encourage your unwell colleague to do the same. She may not want to complain right now, but if she changes her mind, she will be glad she’s kept records.

What sort of organisation is it, is there occupational health services. This bullying is having a negative effect on all the staff who are witnesses, it's causing widespread stress and anxiety in the entire department. Youmcould put in complaints yourselves about how this is affecting your own mental wellbeing and workload.

Do you have an anonymous whistle blowing type line? We had one at the large organisation I worked for it was used for lots of silly inconsequential things but this is a reason why I would of used it!

Definitely tell them of your support and keep notes.

20 years ago I was working in an office and I noticed the awful treatment of a young professional single parent.

She was being bullied by her slightly senior colleague who was awful.

I was in the lift with a nice member of HR and I said "off the record" that the way she was being treated by her, they way she was spoken to by X was just awful . I said it is awful to hear when passing by their office. I said that I won't be one bit surprised if she is job hunting and goes for constructive dismissal, as I definitely would.

Something was said, I have no idea what, but she completely dialled it right down.

You could also have a word with HR and tell them that her treatment is shocking and you are distressed having to witness it.

HR will likely appreciate the heads up that this is the stuff of a serious tribunal complaint in your opinion.

Their job is to protect the company first.

There is no boss in the world who is important enough that they should get away with this. They are just a person and they should be called out at the time.

If I could turn back the clock, I would not tolerate certain things that I did from an idiot bully I worked with once (who eventually had a huuuuge downfall)!

When you’re on the receiving end of this kind of treatment at work, it makes you constantly second guess yourself. I endured it for months before I raised it and then all hell broke loose. I don’t think I’d tolerate it now but until you’re the victim it’s very difficult to understand why it happens. I’d let her know how you feel about it though and offer to support her as she needs.

Rather than go to higher management, is this the sort of work environment where you feel you could speak openly to this manager at the time it happens?

E.g. they say something rude to colleague. " Woah Nick! That was a bit rude and uncalled for."

They ask colleague to do something they can't right now. "Ah come on Nick! It's obvious that is out of the question at the moment."

If enough of you did this maybe it would shame them in to backing down. If not, what's the worse that could happen? They report you for a disciplinary offence which would presumably give you the chance to explain to other management what is happening.

What You Can Do

• Talk to HR informally: Ask for advice without naming the person.
• Support your colleague: Help them write down dates, times, and details of what happened.
• Encourage reporting: Tell them to use the official company HR process or policy.
• Offer to witness: Tell HR you are ready to share what you saw or heard if your colleague files a formal report. 1, 2]

When You Can Report Directly

• Severe safety issues: If there is a risk of physical harm or a major crime.
• Company whistleblowing policy: If the behavior breaks the law or violates core company rules, some firms let anyone report it.

I googled this our company policy is I could report read through yours