To not care about my birth parents?

[ChalkOutlines]

I was adopted at birth and found out when I was already 26. There were some suspicions when I was 14, but my mum said they weren’t true and I just rolled with it.

I have some vague info on my BM(like name, city she lives in now, she has 3 kids) but if I’m honest, I’ve forgotten most of them. Nothing on my birth father.

I’ll be honest, other than being nice to have a medical history , I’m not interested in much else. Even that , doesn’t seem enough to go through the hassle/waste of time and money to get it and probably not much else in return.

I know who I am, my life wasn’t easy, my parents were crap , but they are still my parents. There’s no longing or need to know or figuring out who I really am.

A lot of people seem surprised at this attitude. Aren’t you curious, don’t you want to know etc. Even other adoptees who have found their birth families and had negative experiences (and are now NC) don’t seem to get it/accept it.

I admit, when I first found out there was curiosity and a twinge, but due to circumstances it wasn’t the right time to do anything about it. Then time passed and it’s just became similar to having brown eyes, or freckles or wearing glasses. It’s a fact about me, not who I am.

Any other adoptees who feel the same as me? Or is it all about where you come from and I’m an outlier?

AIBU to not care/want to know?

I found out at your age. No Interest at all. My parents were also crap.

I knew from very young I was adopted. I didn’t have any curiosity until I had my first child. Suddenly I knew someone I was related to by blood!

over the course of a few years I found out who my bm was, and a name for the father. My bm reached out via social services, and I just couldn’t handle it. No idea why but I was very distressed and had to shut it down. This wasn’t helped by my adoptive parents reacting really negatively to my looking for her.

Every so often I wonder where she is now, or even alive, but no burning desire. I don’t have any medical information, ironically, that would be useful. My heart isn’t in the best shape and I wonder if I’ve inherited it.

Nothing wrong with how you feel @ChalkOutlines

I'm in my 50s, was adopted as a baby and have always known I was adopted. Never had much curiosity about birth parents or any desire to find out any more about them. Just doesn't seem relevant to me or my life.

No one can say you're right or wrong-it's what you feel.
Honestly I would consider the medical info, but again, your choice.
Lots of adopted people are just happy with their adopted parents (I know that's not what you said about yours) and don't feel anything is missing.

"it’s just became similar to having brown eyes, or freckles or wearing glasses" This sums up exactly how I feel about being adopted.

Your choice entirely. Sometimes it's not all joy and reunions filled with love. Preserving your metal health is more important

You feel how you feel.

I’m so glad that other people (quite a few on this thread) feel the same way. The common /accepted narrative is all about knowing and reunions and the trauma of not knowing (which I am not dismissing btw), plus the comments from other people so it makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you for not being that bothered .

I was taken into care and then adopted as a baby. I’ve always known I was adopted. I’ve never met either side of my biological family, but I know that my BM was abused as a child and is very unstable.

After having my daughter, I experienced awful postnatal depression that lasted for years. Apparently, this can be quite common for adoptees. I eventually tried to find my BF, mainly to get some medical history, but unfortunately, that did not go well.

I’ve now found out that it’s highly unlikely my conception was consensual. It makes me feel sick knowing that he presents himself as a family man with strong ties to the community, especially given the way his wife and children made me feel when I tried to make contact. Knowing what I’ve found out now, a lot of things make sense.

So no, I have absolutely no desire for any contact.

I was always told I was adopted, but I'm similar to you, I have no interest, they are no one to me - my real family are those who brought me up and love and care for me.

My DH's children were adopted. They had no interest in meeting their birth parents - they always knew they were adopted.

One of them did access his medical history.

I have contact with BM but no real desire to suddenly bond with long lost family! I’m too busy with my own

Dh was adopted . He found his bm and half siblings . It hasn’t gone as well as he thought it would but bless him he tries to keep in touch . I find it really sad and very rare you see the happy endings you see on tv ! Too much gone on most of the times