AIBU for deleting my daughters' pictures?

[MyLemonMentor]

I was never that comfortable with my (young teen) DD having pics of herself online. I had plenty of her on my FB but recently I’ve gone through and deleted all of them and forced her (had to check her phone) to get rid of any she has on her FB (no Insta or Snapchat yet).
Basically, I’ve been seeing loads of stuff of AI taking images of women, sometimes children, and doing horrible things with them. Grok (stupid name) I’ve heard is especially bad for this.
Not letting this happen to DD. It’s not any of the victims fault of course, but I feel like I’m being extra careful in a very reasonable way. DD is very upset of course, she’s been very funny about it. I explained everything, showed her some news articles, but she’s still annoyed with me.
I get why she’s upset, but AIBU?

I think you are being very sensible OP.

Unless you're talking about inappropriate images or shes under 16 then yes you are being unreasonable to go through her phone and Facebook making her delet all her images

I thing YANBU to not want pictures out there but YABU to have previously put pictures on facebook giving her the message that this is acceptable then suddenly doing a u turn. Give her a bit of time to catch up with the change in your thinking.

I suppose she’s in a different place. You used to do just the same thing but now you have realised it’s not what you want and she’s not at that stage of realisation yet.

This is a great point. I always try to be consistent and clear. Social media has just gotten so much more horrible, which I know I should have foreseen. I just remember uploading those first pics when she was young, and Facebook seemed quite innocent then. Hard to be consistent when this AI stuff turns the world on it's head you know?

Under 16. Which still means she get's some autonomy and freedom of course. Phone time is always limited, so she's used to never having total freedom on her phone, unlike other areas of life where she gets to be herself. Hard to explain to her how horrible these new bits of technology are. AI images that'll stick around on some server forever.

You obviously haven't read about the growing practice of gleaning innocent pictures of women and children from Social media and altering them to create pornographic digitally altered images.
There has been a lot of publicity about it and OP is being very wise

It wasn't her idea haha. She's more upset about Insta obviously, but I set her up a Facebook before anything because family use it. No social media is family friendly though these days

This is why I have never put photos of my kids online, I’ve always felt it’s grossly unfair of parents tbh, kids don’t consent to the sharing and then they’re out there for eternity

I thought of the forever thing I guess quite romantically at first. I grew up with physical photos and was always losing them. Tried to do a big scrape but hate the idea of any old creep being able to find stuff. It's just backups and the cloud for me now!

Thank you. I've been trying to read more about it, spread some awareness I guess. First heard about it from that MP near where we used to live yonks ago suing Elon Musk and Grok (both stupid names). Where have you been catching up on it?

I heard about it on radio 4. I listened to a programme about a woman's experience. I think Woman's Hour alsp had an item or items about it. Infact the BBC has done quite a lot of investigation into the this worrying phenomenon.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c75gvyk6d4yo

This is one of the cases.

This is horrific. Thank you for sharing this, more people need to know! A friend from college too, it beggars belief. BBC has been doing a lot on it, saw this last month:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly5gdp2414o
But more stories seem to keep cropping up.
I feel a bit reassured.

Yes i have but if she was over 16 then its her choice to have them up or not.
However as the op has clarified that shes under 16 shes not being unreasonable

Thank you. I do wonder what I'll do when she is 16. Let's just hope we can control that tech by then.
Maybe if they learnt about it in schools too?

You can justify it however you want you have to answer your daughter not us, you are not listening to anyone except those that agree with you so what is the point?

Just do what you think

I know I've been inconsistent, it's been very helpful to have that pointed out. I suppose I acknowledge that in future conversations. But no ones really reassured me about the real danger of letting these pics stay up. I don't want to think this, it's scary.

This !!

I am 100000% with you on this. If she’s under 18 then it’s up to you to keep her safe and this is doing exactly that. Well done, OP. I too have not put any pics of my child online since she was 5 and they were all later deleted

I have recently gone through and deleted my digital footprints and removed all photos of me and my children online.